Custody
by issamalv
Summary: Years after his family left to live in Germany, a terrible accident gives Momiji the chance to become the older brother he always wanted to be. Will he take the chance, or will he give up on the only family he has left?
1. Meeting

At one point, he just lost count of the years he had longed for that which he had been denied. He stopped keeping track of the number of times that he had had to hide, waiting for a chance to see her, the woman who should've loved him more than anyone else in the world, but who had decided to erase him from her life. Could nobody see that he looked just like her? Didn't she ever notice? He hated having to hide, but his father said that she shouldn't see him, and he obeyed, truly believing that it was for the best. He kept on being a stranger to his own family because he loved them too much to see them hurt.

Sure, his father really tried to be there for him, but through the years their relationship changed and they were not close anymore. In the beginning, his father would be there for most of the big events of his life: his first day of school, his first missing tooth… He even took the time to help him with his homework sometimes and to buy him his first bicycle. And then, everything changed. His father never came on the day Momiji sat until well onto the night on the front of Hatori's house, waiting for his first bicycle riding lesson. His father apologized the next day, saying that Mama had to go to the doctor. At Momiji's questioning look, his father broke into a grin and announced that Papa and Mama were having a baby. In the end, it was Hatori who finally took the time to teach Momiji how to ride a bike. Hatori became more involved with Momiji's life, filling in the blanks his father left. Over the years, his father's visits kept on getting shorter and with longer periods of time in between. Later, Momiji realized that his father never talked about the new baby as Momiji's "baby brother or sister". And thus, Momiji was excluded from her sister's life even before she was born.

In time, the once crushing pain caused by their rejection (or rather, lack of acknowledgement) dulled. It became more of a dormant ache, the type that is never gone, but to which you grow used to and finally accept as a part of yourself. He knew that what had happened was not his fault, since he was not to blame for being cursed. He had never asked for it. However, no matter what he did, every time it seemed to him like he was about to get closer to his family, he was shoved away. He kept on being someone else's child. He went from hiding and watching over them from a distance to start avoiding the places they frequented fearing getting caught "spying on them"

Even if he could never be a part of Momo's life, he couldn't help it but to love her. All his hopes were now on Momo. He kept daydreaming that someday she would know that he was her big brother and that she would accept him. He had already given up on his father and mother, but for some reason, he just couldn't detach himself from his sister. Sometimes he would walk with no apparent destination only to find himself in front of Momo's school. He would then watch Momo from across the street while she walked home with her friends after her classes. She would catch a glance of his retreating figure once in a while, and that was how she recognized him on the day that they were formally introduced for the first time.

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Momo hated waiting in general. She was the kind of girl who would rush to things and started everything at home just for the sake of not having to waste time doing nothing. Most people didn't know that, since she was so shy around strangers that she barely spoke to anyone besides her parents. She couldn't stand it just sitting there until her violin teacher finished with her previous student. It was going to take them half an hour more! Her mother had an appointment somewhere else, so she had dropped her off at school earlier than usual. She thought that things couldn't get more boring, so she decided to go out of that place if only in her mind, and then she remembered him: the blond boy who she saw sometimes near her school. Had she not known better, she would've sworn that he had followed her on the way back home more than once. It had to be a coincidence, right? Maybe he lived near her house, but then, why did it seem to her like he was trying really hard not to be seen? Curiosity was starting to get the better of her, and she was considering calling out for the mysterious boy next time she saw him. She knew that he was a member of the Souma family. She had seen him once at her father's building and her mother had told her so. Did that mean that he was a cousin? Since her parents weren't really fond of keeping in touch with the family, she had grown up apart from the Soumas, and since her mother's family lived in Germany, she didn't know what it was like to have uncles, aunts and cousins. On top of it, though being an only child meant that she had all of her parent's attention, which was great, it also meant that she felt lonely most of the time. She sometimes daydreamed about having an older brother, someone to play with and who would protect her from the other kids who made fun of her at school because of the way she spoke.

While she entertained herself with these fantasies, the door of the room opened and someone stepped out saying good-bye to the teacher. Momo raised her head to see who the person was, and found herself looking straight into the face of the mysterious boy!

Momiji stood rooted to the spot, trying to figure out what to do or say. Since he was caught off-guard, the first thing he did was stammer "M-Momo!" while looking for a possible escape route. However, when he dared to look back at her, her happy face and vibrant brown eyes just made it impossible for him to just say good bye and flee. He glanced to the clock on the wall, put on a fake smile on his face and asked in the cheeriest voice he could manage:

-"Momo-chan, what are you doing here? Don't tell me you are also taking music lessons!" – He laughed nervously, but his eyes sparked with a light that hadn't been there for some time now.

Momo couldn't stop staring at him. Now that she had the opportunity to see him up-close, she realized just how much this boy and her self looked alike. They had the same brown eyes and blond hair, and even the same little, almost unnoticeable freckles scattered on the tip on their noses. His nervous smile reminded her of someone, but she couldn't place where she had seen that same expression before. She didn't even hear her teacher saying that she needed to go get something and that she would be back on time for class. When she looked around, they were alone in the corridor. Momiji was looking at her with an expectant expression, and then she remembered that she had been asked a question.

-"Yes I am! I'm learning how to play the violin!" – She answered proudly. The boy's smile grew so much that she thought that it wasn't going to fit in his face!

-"That's great! I'm also taking violin lessons!" – He showed her the violin suitcase, and he started to talk about how much he liked music, while asking her how she was doing in her own lessons.

They talked happily until the teacher came back and told Momo that they were starting the class. As her classmates entered the room, she remembered something.

-"Umm… Onii-chan, what's your name?" – She felt embarrassed to be asking this after they had been talking to each other for half an hour, but she had to know! However, she forgot about her embarrassment when she saw his eyes. She couldn't figure out all of the emotions reflecting in his them, but she knew that he felt sad and maybe hurt. He lowered his eyes to the ground for a second before he looked back up again, happy grin back on his lips as he replied a little too cheerfully: "My name's Momiji!"

Momiji said good-bye to his sister as she entered the classroom and closed the door after her. He kept hearing that word in his mind over and over again. 'Onii-chan. I wonder if there will ever be a day when you call me that for real'

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Shortly after that, his father asked Momiji to drop out of his violin lessons. Momo had grown interested in him, and his father was afraid of the unknown situation. She had told her mother about how much Momiji and her self looked alike at dinner that night, and her father wanted to avoid unwanted questions. Once more, Momiji had to sacrifice himself for the sake of his family. He didn't quit playing the violin, though. It was on one of those afternoons when he practiced that Tohru came to his house and delivered Momo's message: She wanted to know if he would like to be her big brother. Finally, one of his dreams was becoming a reality! He was so happy! The tiny flame of hope grew inside of his heart and he dared to hope once again. Even against his better judgment, he began to make plans for the wonderful future he was going to share with his sister.

His dream, however, was not meant to come true.


	2. News

Momiji practiced at home one winter afternoon when he heard a pair of voices that caught his attention. One of them belonged to Tohru, but he stopped playing when he heard Momo's. He knew that she used to listen to him playing from outside of the house, and it had become a silent agreement to "meet" regularly that way. However, he had never heard Momo making any noise, let alone talking to someone within Momiji's hearing distance. He was surprised, and a happy smile appeared on his face. It died on his lips when he finally made out the words of the conversation.

-"Where are you going? When?" – asked Tohru. She dreaded the answer she had already guessed, but was too afraid to admit to herself. She hadn't noticed that they were in front of Momiji's house, or the deadly silence in the atmosphere.

-"We're moving to Germany as soon as I'm off school! Mama says that it is a great country, that she grew up there. She's taking me to all the fun places she used to go to when she was a child! I was kind of sad about leaving, but Mama says that I'll be going to a new school where I'll be making a lot of new friends, and we'll be living in a beautiful town with lots of parks, and a lake nearby! And you know the best thing? I'm going to meet my family there! Mama says that I have a lot of uncles, aunts and cousins! I've only spoken to grandma on the phone, but she's so kind, and she says she can't wait to meet me!" – She explained in an overly enthusiastic voice that reminded Tohru so much of Momiji. She even tried to keep that nervous smile on her face, the one that was identical to her brother's.

Momo managed to say all so fast that Tohru took a few seconds to catch up on every word she had heard. When she was done, Tohru picked up from somewhere before in the conversation.

-"So that's why you wanted to see Momiji? To tell him that you're leaving?"– Tohru asked slowly, her heart breaking just thinking about her dear friend and how the news would affect him.

-"Yes…" – replied Momo sadly, shifting her weight to her other foot. In the months Momo and Tohru had known each other, she had never looked so unsure, even scared. Once they had become friends, Momo had been as much a happy person as Momiji. She continued with her eyes downcast, "I want to say good bye. Papa says that we won't be coming back soon, that we'll be gone for some years. Mama packed everything already, and she even shipped some of our things to the new house, so I know that we're leaving for real. I'm going to miss onii-chan…" –her voice broke at the mention of the older brother she had grown to love so much. It hurt terribly to think about leaving him behind. –"But we can write to each other, right? We can even talk on the phone, right?"

Momo didn't want to cry! She didn't want to see her onii-chan with blotchy eyes and nose! However, a pair of tears ran down her cheeks as the pain in her heart grew worse with every second. How was she going to face him and tell him that they were probably never going to see each other again? Why did they have to take her away!

Tohru didn't say anything. She realized that Momo was hurting too much at that moment. She did the only thing she could think of: She kneeled on the ground and hugged the little girl as she cried. As Momo's tears damped her shoulder, Tohru started to cry too. She remembered then that Momiji was cursed to never be able to hug his little sister like that, and that she would never be able to comfort him that way either.


	3. Crying for the broken dream

Numb. Yes, that was how he felt, or rather, not felt. He was so shocked that he was unable to experience any emotion just yet. They were leaving? They were leaving _him?_ His father hadn't said a word, and they had had lunch together just last Sunday! Momiji had reiterated to his father how important his sister was to him, and he had once _again_ requested permission to see her now and then. His father had explained one more time all the dangers there were in building a closer relationship with his sister. The way Papa explained things made him feel like he was trying to convince the four year-old Momiji that agreed to vanish from his mother's memories. So, he dropped the subject for the time being and changed the conversation to a safer topic.

And now he learned that he was about to get the formal announcement of the departure of his family via his heartbroken little sister! His first impulse was to go out and see Momo. Her muffled sobs against what he guessed was Tohru's body cut his soul like a thousand knives. It never occurred to him to hug his sister himself, though. Growing up knowing his limitations had a way of eliminating that option from his mind. At times like this, however, he would've given anything to be able to do just that: to run to his sister and pour all his love for her in a simple hug.

Sliding down slowly and unconsciously against the wall, he kept trying to make sense of the situation. Once he was sitting on the floor, he slouched and covered his face with his hands. He had to fight really hard the tears that threatened to come out. He had not cried since the day he told Tohru about his mother. He was not starting again now.

He snapped back to reality when Tohru told Momo to stop crying or else she was going to have a red nose when she saw her onii-chan. Momiji knew that he was going to be unable to keep a calm face if he saw Momo that very moment, so he decided to flee. He rose from the floor and, as quietly as possible, left the house through another door. As soon as he was concealed by some bushes, but not so far away so he could still hear them, he waited in silence.

Tohru and Momo worked on their cheerful attitudes, and Momo even succeeded on bringing up the characteristic nervous smile to her lips. Even now, he hated that smile. It brought unpleasant memories back to mind. Once both girls were ready, they went to his house and slid the shoji to enter. He could hear them inside calling for him, but after a few minutes, they came out again. Momo promised to go back to say good bye before they left the next week, and then they parted ways and went home.

Momiji sat on the ground now, reclined against the trunk of a tree. He had not cried since the day he told Tohru about his mother, true, but that was because he hadn't had a reason to do it since then. His life apparently got better after that, and he built castles in the sky with all the dreams he had for the future. Now, the future he was trying to make for himself crumbled all around him, while he could only stand in the middle of the falling pieces hoping not to get crushed by them in the process.

When he thought that he was in control of his emotions, he went back to his house.

Slumping on the bed, he closed his eyes and finally broke down in tears. The injustice of the whole situation appeared once more before him. This time, however, he could see it crystal clear for the first time. He had been willing to sacrifice himself out of love for his family, and the stabbing realization that he never received anything in return was unbearable. He had given up on his mother for the sake of her happiness. He accepted his father's estrangement for the sake of his peace of mind, to make him feel less guilty. He had almost resigned himself to keep away from Momo, but then he discovered that she really wanted to become his little sister! He had thrown caution out the window back then and started to slip slowly into her life, wishing, dreaming, and making plans.

For normal people it might seem ludicrous that someone craves so much the company and acceptance of a little sister. For Momiji, who never had a real family, even a little love from a little girl meant the greatest gift of all. He had literally _begged _his father for the chance to get close to Momo, but he had been given the same answer and supporting arguments each time.

Momiji was exhausted. He couldn't keep up the happy act anymore. He had no strength left in him. What was worse, he was loosing the will to keep on pretending. Sure, occasionally he felt real happiness, like whenever he visited Tohru, but most of the times he acted silly to lighten up everybody's mood. So, on this day when he realized the extent of his own insignificance in his parents' eyes, he let out years of rejection, pain and one-sided feelings through tears. He allowed himself to finally acknowledge that he would always be a stranger to his own family.

His muffled cries against his pillow and his punching fists against the mattress didn't go unnoticed. Standing close, looking in through a partially open door, Momo heard her own name being called out in between sobs.

Momo didn't go back for a week. The truth was that she didn't get a chance to go out by herself after that day. School was off now, but with all the packing and preparations there was no time to spare. She wanted to call her onii-chan, but the phone line had been disconnected already. Asking her father to take her to see Momiji was out of the question, but the answer to her prayers came the day before they left when her Papa announced that he was going to the main house to say goodbye to Akito. Momo had to plead to go with him, and her Papa agreed at last, though rather reluctantly.

Her father asked her to wait outside while he spoke with Akito. Knowing that this was her last chance, she headed straight to Momiji's house as soon as she was alone. Seeing her dear onii-chan was well worth it getting grounded for a year! When she stopped in front of the house, panting, she found Momiji, eyes closed, playing the violin. This time, his door was wide open. She approached him cautiously, almost scared. When she was in front of him, she interrupted his concentration by pulling his sleeve lightly.

Momiji stopped playing immediately, and smiled at her with sad eyes. He knelt down to be at her eye level, though neither of them had the courage to meet the other's eyes. Momiji put a hand on his sister's head.

-"You're leaving" –It was not a question. His voice came out strained, almost a whisper. Momo nodded silently, eyes downcast. -"When?"-he asked. -"Tomorrow." –was the almost inaudible reply.

Momiji let out a gasp, but just smiled again after regaining his composure. Momo was looking at his face now, and he had to be strong and cheerful for her.

-"I'm sure it is a great place! You'll be so happy there that you'll soon forget about your friends here!"- That overly enthusiastic voice again! She looked at her shoes, not knowing what to think.

-"Will you miss me?" –she asked hesitantly, though she tried to make it sound like a joke. Tears started to cloud her vision, and she was relying on that nervous smile again.

Momiji mirrored her smile and faked a cheerful voice: -"Of course! How could I ever forget my little sister?"

Momo snapped out of the crying mood and looked at him with wide eyes. In all the time they had known each other, he had never called her his "little sister". Grinning sincerely now, she threw herself to his arms, wanting to be hugged by him.

Out of pure reflex, Momiji stopped her by the shoulders. Seeing her hurt and questioning face, he only managed to say: -"I can't, Momo. I wish I could, but…" –It hurt so much!

Just then, Papa appeared on the door, calling Momo's name. Momiji stood up quickly, and bowed wordlessly to greet him. Momo stayed at his side, and took his hand as if it was a lifeline. Momiji squeezed her hand reassuringly. She was with her onii-chan now. He would protect her. Everything would be fine.

-"You're leaving tomorrow" –Momiji accused this time, looking straight at his father's eyes. Keeping in mind Momo's presence, he continued. "I was shocked to hear the news last week, but I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that much. After all, you have no obligation to let me know. I'm sorry to have detained your daughter here so long, but I wanted to say goodbye". –Momiji spoke emotionlessly, with words he didn't normally use, which succeeded in making his father flinch. That cold, accusatory voice combined with Momiji's calm, smiling face, scared his father more than any other thing he could've done. This young man was in no way his little boy!

-"I… I wanted to come before to tell you about it, but… but we've been so busy packing… I just could barely make the time!" –Papa half stammered his answer. He looked scared now. Normally that would make Momiji worry, but right now he didn't care.

Without acknowledging his father's words, Momiji knelt down once more and took Momo's other hand. He put a gift in it: a tiny box wrapped in pink paper and adorned with a cute lace bow. Looking into her eyes with a serious expression, he told her:

-"Even if you'll be living in Germany from now on, I will always be your onii-chan. Don't forget", and then he touched the tip of her nose with his index finger. It was their secret way to show their affection, and they only used it when Momo left his house after a visit.

-"I won't forget. I promise". –She touched the tip of his nose, giggling while the tears finally rolled down her cheeks.

They left the next day. As Momo climbed in the car that would take them to the airport, she looked across the street, searching. She grinned one last time when, among the people passing by, she saw a half concealed figure waving at her.

TBC


	4. Graduating

Momiji adjusted the tie in front of the mirror before putting on the jacket of the black suit he would be wearing. Today, he graduated from college with a degree in Business Administration. It was bound to be a long day. After the official ceremony they had to stay for the picture taking, the final goodbyes, the good wishes and the promise-to-call-you-soon exchanges. Then, they had a party to go to. Being his happy self, the prospect of a party gained over the tiresome activities that were to precede it.

He felt content. He graduated on top of his class ('well, who could've imagined', was Haru's comment upon the announcement), he was a popular guy thanks to his easygoing, friendly nature and he would be graduating along with his best friend in the whole world: Honda Tohru.

Tohru didn't get into college right after high school, since her plan was to work to be able to support herself and move out of the Souma's. Kyo, Yuki and Momiji convinced her to get in a year later, in time to be in the same class as Momiji and Haru. Tohru got a part-time job in one of the Souma companies as Ritsu's assistant, who had surprised everyone with his natural talent for business. With Tohru's support, he had become a bold man with a confident demeanor and firm voice. He was unrecognizable now in his tailored suits, though he kept the long mane just like Ayame. After college, Kyo began to get ready to take over Kazuma's dojo and Yuki started his career as an architect. Tohru hadn't left Shigure's house yet, and Momiji had the feeling that his cousins would be finally making a move on Tohru one of those days now that she was out of college herself. He hoped that the love triangle had a happy ending. As for Haru, well, he ran away and married Rin during their second year, and by the time they came back it was already too late for him to go back to school and make up for the missing time. He would be graduating next fall. The rest had gone on with their lives as well.

The shadow of the curse had been lifted. They had never been happier.

After the ceremony, Momiji and Tohru found themselves surrounded by their friends and family. Tohru received hugs from everyone, while Momiji, out of habit, just greeted them with a nod, a bow or an occasional handshake. Their smiles and enthusiasm were contagious. When everybody began to get out of the building, Momiji took a second to look behind looking for someone. He felt like he was being watched. It was an unsettling feeling, but he snapped back to reality when Hatori put a hand on his shoulder to make him walk forward.

-'Of course they didn't come' –he thought. Putting the happy mask back on, he lost himself in the conversation with everybody else with wistful eyes and a fake grin.

Back in his house, the echo of the phone ringing filled the empty place.


	5. A night to remember

Momo pulled the collar of her coat up for the millionth time. Although the temperature outside dropped with every passing second, she refused to join everybody else at the party going on inside. This had been a very important recital in her starting career as a violinist, and she had been very excited about it for over a month now. It was supposed to be a memorable night!

Things, however, hadn't entirely turned out as expected. She left her home early that afternoon with her friend Heidi for some little extra practice time. They played a duet in the recital, which had been one of the main events in the presentation tonight. Her parents promised to be there on time, for they wouldn't miss her performance even if the end of the world came.

She practiced, got ready and waited impatiently for her turn on stage. Heidi, ever the word of reason, tried to calm her down as the night progressed and Momo's parents had still to show up. Momo had located their assigned seats before the theater filled with the public, and every time she looked, they remained empty.

She called home for the third time when her number was over. They weren't there. First, she was furious. _'How dare they! They stood me up on the most important day of my life!' _Her anger turned to concern through the following hours. _'What if they **couldn't** make it?_ _What if the car broke down on the way there? What if...?'_ She decided not to think about that. They were fine. They had to be.

Starting to panic, her hand moved instinctively to her neck. There, hanging from a silver chain was her secret source of comfort whenever she became a nervous wreck. It was the little figure of a silver rabbit; her most prized possession because _he_ gave it to her. Whenever she touched it, she felt the reassuring presence of her nii-chan by her side again. She wondered where he was and what had become of him. They lost contact as soon as she climbed in that taxi the day she left Japan. She wrote to him in the beginning, but she never got an answer. She refused to believe that he had forgotten about her. She would never do that. He promised to always be her nii-chan.

She chuckled at that. "Nii-chan". How long had it been since she spoke a word in Japanese? As soon as they reached Germany, her father, who had been the only one at her house to ever speak the language, switched to German completely. He only called her "Momo-chan" as he had always done, but not another word had been spoken in his native tongue at home in all this time.

'Has it really been six years already?' –She thought.

She was scared on her first day at her new school. She arrived in the middle of the school year here, so she had to merge into an already integrated group. The first year was the hardest, but once she got familiar with the language and the writing, she opened up more and made new friends. Since nobody else spoke Japanese here, she stopped speaking it. With the passing of time, she even started to forget the words (not that she really tried that hard to keep them in mind). She lost the "funny accent" soon enough, and even dropped some customs altogether, like bowing as a greeting. Her eyes were slanted just barely, so that unless you'd met her father, you could never relate that to her ancestry. She was growing to be an exact replica of her mother, her looks making her one of the most popular and chased after girls at school. Her "peculiar" name became an asset, since it drew the attention of the people onto her. When questioned about it, she just said that it was of foreign origin, but then, can you keep track of how many kids you get to meet with strange foreign names nowadays? Nobody gave it a second thought after that. She was perfectly happy in her new country. She became a German girl. Nobody could've guessed now that she had been born and raised in Japan.

It was dark. It was snowing. She lost count of the number of snow flakes she'd seen fall to the ground by now. She vaguely recalled counting up to 1,568. The night was deadly silent now. The sound of her breath increased in volume every time she drew the frosted air into her lungs. It was deafening.

The party ended late into the night, and everybody left, not really paying attention to her. She barely acknowledged a couple of people with her trademark nervous smile. Nobody outside her family had ever figured out the meaning of that smile. Her parents knew it well, though. These people couldn't guess just how terrified she was by now. The only person left who could've known just by looking at her was currently far away, in another country. Her hand gripped her rabbit charm until it hurt.

She kept on standing there, waiting.

A hand came from behind to rest on her shoulder. Momo looked back, startled but with hopeful eyes.

It was Heidi.

-"They didn't come?" –She asked, really surprised. Momo's parents were entirely devoted to their child. It wasn't like them to miss an important event in their daughter's life such as this one. Something was wrong.

Momo confirmed her suspicions with a slow movement of her head.

-"My parents and I are leaving now. Want a ride home?" –She asked. Truth be told, she noticed Momo's absence from the party, but didn't really pay much attention. She just assumed that she was somewhere else with her other friends. By the way Momo looked; she guessed that she stood out in the snow for at least three hours. She might even get sick.

Momo nodded.

Momo remained silent on the way back home. Her hands hurt, almost frozen since she forgot her gloves at home. The fancy, high heel dress shoes she insisted on wearing that night didn't help her feet either. Her fingers felt like they would snap and fall off with the slightest movement.

Heidi and Momo looked out the windows for the familiar car that her parents drove.

Nothing. Just snow.

Up ahead, some red and blue lights illuminated the road.

As they drove by, Momo recognized the car. She recalled hearing an ambulance pass by sometime ago. Her blood froze in her veins.

Tonight was the end of her world. It was a night she would never forget.


	6. A new family

Momiji arrived at his house late into the night. The graduation party had been better than he had expected. It was good to share those final moments celebrating with his former classmates and friends. Tohru had been there as well, though she was dragged away at the first yawn by her two overprotective bodyguards. He took that as his cue, and had started to leave when two of his friends took him back in for a while more. He danced, laughed and tried to drown his disappointment at his family's absence in a couple –ok, maybe more than a couple- of drinks that proved to be more than enough to make him dizzy. He just hoped that he didn't get a splitting headache in the morning.

He was in great spirits at that moment. His only thought right now, though, was to go straight to bed and sleep the rest of the night and the next day away. They couldn't say anything to him now. He had done everything they asked him to do. Today he graduated from college. He was entitled to some laziness.

He glanced at the answering machine and saw that he had a message, but he figured that if it was that important they would've called him to his mobile. Whatever it was, it could wait until next day.

The morning came and went, and true to his resolution, Momiji slept until noon. Yup, he officially had a terrible headache now. As he searched desperately for an aspirin, he saw the answering machine again and he remembered that he still had to listen to his messages. He'd get to that as soon as he could think clearly, and that was not going to happen as long as he didn't get something for the headache! Hatori must have something. He left to his house.

Momiji didn't go back home until after dinner. He spent the afternoon at Hatori and Mayu's house. He got the aspirin he so desperately wanted, but soon forgot about it anyway as he got busy with other things. Hatori and Mayu's twin toddler boys were a handful, but he loved them despite their pranks and they loved their uncle Momiji back with a passion. They looked like a miniature version of Hatori, and though the children were identical, Momiji never had a problem telling them apart. He liked to play with them, even if it meant loosing at each and every game.

Mayu smiled as she saw Momiji, lying face up on the carpet, getting beat up by her two year-olds. He never grew tired, and that only reinforced Mayu's belief that Momiji was really still a child trapped in the body of a young man. The former rabbit was 22 at the time, but he still looked like a teenager. His boyish looks could've fooled anyone who didn't know him. Mayu loved him like a younger brother. It was impossible not to like him after you've met him. They had grown close during the three years since she married Hatori. It worried her that he forced himself to be "happy" when something in his eyes told her about the storm going on inside, in his very soul.

Tohru and Mayu had learned to read the "cheerful rabbit" well. They were the closest to him, along with Hatori, and they often shared their concern about their favorite bunny. Tohru once said that Momiji cared too much about others to care about himself. He would sacrifice anything, even his own happiness if it would make the people he loved happy.

Tohru told her that Momo could make Momiji happy just by being near. They didn't even need to talk to communicate to each other. They had a special wordless language consisting of coded looks, little gestures and music. (It was such a pity that Momiji quit playing the violin when he started to really focus on his studies.) When Tohru finally dared to talk to him about his little sister about a year after she left, he just forced that fake, nervous smile onto his face and told her with the cheeriest voice he could muster: "I'm sure that she's happy! Wouldn't you be? Living in a whole new country! Imagine all the things she must be doing! The people she must've met!" –And then he added, voice serious now, "She'll forget about us soon, Tohru, but it'll be okay as long as she's happy, right?" –the fake grin looked real, and it could've convinced her, were it not for the wistful look in his eyes. She knew. It was killing him inside to think that _she_ would forget _him_.

She remembered Momo. She wondered where she was now.

Hatori watched them play and have fun, and he couldn't help but to think that Momiji could've made a great big brother if only he had been given a chance. He had a gift. Children loved him. He would make a great father someday. It was good to see him "wrestling" with the kids, specially because Momiji was the kind to avoid any physical contact even now, years after the curse was lifted. Maybe it was an unconscious reaction born out of habit, or maybe he was scared deep down that the curse could come back anytime. He could see it in his eyes: the ever present fear of rejection. Even now, being a popular guy, Momiji struggled to gain the acceptance of the people around him. It was a fear deeply engraved in his heart the day his parents turned their backs on him.

Even so, Momiji told Hatori that he had invited his family to come to his graduation. He had finally found his father's work address, and after a week of hesitation, he gathered the courage to post it. As expected, they didn't come. Not even Momiji believed they would. It didn't make it easier for the young man to accept it, though. He wondered if his family knew about the curse being broken now. He only wished that they would allow Momo to come back to visit every now and then, but ever since the day they left, they never received any news from them.

Later, Momiji had a delicious, warm take-out dinner (Mayu's cooking skills were still a bit on the rough side) with his favorite family. They even had a cake afterwards to celebrate his graduation. It was good to laugh and enjoy times like these with people who accepted him and liked him just the way he was.

He had a family now. If only it could be easier to let go completely of his "other" family.

Momiji sat down on the couch next to the phone and started to listen to his messages. The first two were congratulations, as he had expected. The third one, however, would turn his whole world upside down.

It was a feminine voice.: His father's secretary, no doubt to apologize on his behalf. She spoke German with a perfect accent, so he had a little trouble making out the words. He spoke the language, of course, but it had been years since he had a serious conversation or even heard a word of it. What he heard made the blood freeze in his veins. His parents had an accident and were dead now. His father had asked her some time ago to call Momiji should anything happen to him, and so she was fulfilling his request. She gave him her phone number and asked him to call her back for the time and date of the funeral. Momiji checked the time the message was recorded: it was almost 24 hours ago.

Blaming himself for his stupidity, Momiji dialed the number with trembling fingers, all the while thinking of the fastest way to get to Germany. He had to go to his parents' funeral. He needed to be with Momo.


	7. Snow memories

The days that followed the accident were a blurry memory for Momo, a succession of isolated events that made no sense at all in her mind. She was sure that they had all led her to be standing now in front of her parents' graves, under the falling snow.

The snow was the only thing she remembered as being there all this time. It was constant, unchanging, and it gave her a sense of security. At least some things remained the same.

It was snowing on the night of the accident. The police told them that her father had had a heart attack while driving, resulting in their car crashing against a concrete wall. Her mother died on impact, instantly. The paramedics made it to the scene when her father had been still alive, but it took them a long time to pull the bodies out of the wreckage. He died on the way to the hospital. One of the paramedics told her that he had been calling out one name over and over again during the time he agonized in the ambulance. When she heard the name 'Momo' she said that it must've been it, though she recalled it sounded a little different… or maybe they were two names instead of one? Momo felt a stabbing pain every time she thought about her parents, wanting to be there for her, driving to their deaths while she got angry at them for being late.

It was snowing when she abruptly entered the hospital, the pain of her frozen hands and feet completely forgotten. The only thing she could think of was seeing her parents. She couldn't recall Heidi and her family being there with her, consoling her. She knew they had been there, after all, they drove her there…

She didn't get to see her parents alive one last time. She had to be dragged away from the room in which their bodies were kept. She was hysterical. They had to give her sedatives. She stayed at Heidi's since her parents wouldn't let her go to an empty house all by herself in the current situation.

It was snowing the next morning when her grandmother came. She didn't remember calling her, so someone else must have. Her grandmother was the type that looks like taken straight from the cover of a magazine: beautiful, ageless, with silver hair done in a sophisticated way. Her clothes gave away a refined, expensive taste.

The first thing she did was hug her poor little grandchild as both broke down crying. It was a relief to have her there with her.

Her grandmother took care of everything: the house, the meals, the hospital, the police, the funeral… She even called her father's office to tell his assistant the terrible news. She was that kind of woman. She could do anything and everything at once. When she set her mind on something, not even her emotions got in the way.

This morning, out of nowhere, her grandmother gave her a black dress and told her to get dressed. She must have bought it for her, since Momo didn't own a single article of black clothing.

-'I hate this color.' –She thought as she reluctantly put it on. For the first time in days, she realized that her hair needed some work, and absentmindedly combed it so many times that it shone like gold. She was just putting on her shoes when her grandmother knocked on the door.

When she was ready, they left to the cemetery.

It was an unusually cold winter. Her footsteps as she had approached the place made the thick blanket of snow crunch under her. The sound of their footsteps was, in fact, the only sound among the mourners. It was so loud that it was deafening her. The wind played with her hair and it tickled her cheeks. She pulled the stray strands behind her ears, but let it back down after a minute. The frosty air made her ears and nose hurt.

Many people went to the funeral. Her mother had many friends and acquaintances, and his father was a good man and a fine employee who everybody liked at work. She was a popular girl at school as well, and so, when word got out about the accident, many of her classmates decided to go and just be there for her. Her family gathered around her too, concerned about her physical and emotional well being. It had been a shock for them all. Momo, though, didn't pay attention to the people surrounding her, hugging her, crying or pretending to cry for her, coming and going to pay their respects, etc.

Everybody was leaving now. Her grandmother was currently busy hearing the same phrases of condolence from yet another acquaintance of her parents. Heidi had been there, but she had already left, as well as the rest of her friends.

For the first time in her life, she felt utterly alone. And she was scared. Her hand gripped her rabbit charm tighter. It was an unconscious act. She had been touching it ever since she got out of the car.

-"What am I going to do now?" –Momo asked to the cold graves in a whisper. The snow started to pile up over the newly dug graves.

Momo took in her surroundings as if she just got there. This is where she would be visiting her parents for years to come, where her children would get to meet their grandparents. She scanned the area trying to determine if they would've approved of the place. She ventured a look past the graves, to the pine trees beyond. They looked white, snow covering any traces of green. Then, a black silhouette caught her attention. She tried to focus her eyes on it, trying to make out what, or rather, _who_ the figure was.

Her eyes widened as the figure started to walk to her and came out of the shadows.


	8. Hug

Momiji started to walk forward across the snowy field, zigzagging around the graves. He had to force himself to keep on moving at a normal speed, when in reality he wanted to run to Momo as fast as he could. He barely refrained from doing so when he noticed that his appearance had already made some heads turn to him with questioning stares. He couldn't hear what they said, but he had a pretty good guess that they were wondering who this stranger was. He decided to ignore them after a few seconds. Nothing and nobody was going to spoil this moment. He would not allow it. Cutting them off his senses, he focused all of his attention on the blond girl standing in front of the two graves. He kept on walking forward.

A million thoughts, feelings and old fears revolved inside his head. What was he going to say? What to do? The happiness of this long wished for reunion was shadowed by the mutual pain of their loss.

While he was standing under the white trees he guessed more than recognized Momo. Now that he was closer he could finally see her features clearly. A painful realization stabbed his heart with brutal swiftness. His step faltered before suddenly stopping. His eyes betrayed him by reflecting the raw fear he felt at that moment. There, before his very eyes stood a slightly younger version of the woman who still plagued his nightmares so often.

Momo had become an almost exact replica of her mother. In Momiji's eyes, however, this was not his little sister, but his mother looking back at him, her face.

It was the face of rejection and ultimate betrayal. It was the image he had cherished the most, and the source of his greatest sorrow. How many times had he dreamed of that distant, beloved face smiling at him? For a split second he felt like a four year old again and he averted his eyes from her, like he used to do so many years ago. He finally snapped back to reality when out of the corner of his eye he saw Momo start running to him. Unconsciously, he slipped on his defense mechanism: that nervous smile that looked real to everyone, except to those who knew him well. He tried to force himself into calmness with a slow, long breath before he turned his head to the approaching girl.

Momo stood rooted to the spot. She recognized him even from afar. She might not have been able to see him clearly at first, but her heart told her that it was he. No doubt about it. As he got closer, she couldn't help it but notice that he had indeed become a strikingly handsome man, just as she always believed he would. He looked older, more mature, though not as old as she knew he was now. The snow contrasted against his clothing. He was wearing black. His long, black coat was just barely open so that she could see that he was wearing a black suit underneath. For some reason, it seemed wrong for him to be wearing something so stern looking, so adult. His face was serious, but calm. Even though he wasn't smiling, he had that same reassuring expression on his face as the day they said goodbye six years ago. She felt that everything would be alright now that he was with her again. He strode along, more than walked, most of the distance until suddenly he stopped just a few meters in front of her. A gust of chilly wind ruffled his hair and made the hem of the unbuttoned coat billow with it. He looked at her as if for the first time in his life. She didn't have time to read the new look in his eyes before he lowered them and turned his head to the side, as if scared of something. Was he regretting being here? What if he wanted to leave?

Of all the possible scenarios she had pictured in her mind for a reunion, she never considered a situation like this. Where was her sunny day, the flowering gardens, the jealous friends on the back, the giggles and laughter? There was only one thing left of that dream, and it was up to her to get it.

She ran to him.

Momo hugged him fiercely, as if determined to not letting go of him ever again. She clearly remembered how he had stopped her from hugging him back then, but right now she needed this, and she was determined to get it. She barely reached his shoulder, and she took advantage of it by pressing her cheek and her ear against his chest. He was warm while the rest of the world seemed frozen, uncaring. As her arms snaked their way under his coat she pressed herself against him. She inhaled deeply, taking in as much of his scent as she could. She wanted to memorize it in case this was the only time she was allowed to get this close. He had the foreign and yet familiar scent of a place far away that she once used to call her home, back on the days when she had a family. She hugged him tighter.

Momo collided with Momiji, but he didn't even stumble. The truth was that he was petrified: He wasn't prepared for this, though he had dreamed about it many times. Fortunately for him, she couldn't see the terrified look on his face. Sure, he had been hugged before, and even more after the curse was lifted, but only by Tohru and once by Mayu. Nobody else. It was not intentional, but if ever somebody else tried to get too close to him for comfort, he just held that person by the shoulders at a safe distance. It was a reflex now. Obviously, after the first couple of times this happened within a new group of friends, people got discouraged to try.

Whenever Tohru hugged him, though, it was a happy occurrence: whether they were celebrating something, or just for the fun of it, to him, each time was special. The day Tohru could finally hug him in his human form for the first time, both of them cried. It had been a new, powerful experience. They just stood there for a long time, enjoying the feeling of their arms around each other and the happy tears among the giggles and laughter.

But this… this he didn't know how to react to. He knew what he was supposed to do: he had seen it too many times, but he felt… strange. This was not a happy hug. He could literally feel the pure sadness, hopelessness and fear radiating from Momo. What was he supposed to say? How could he comfort his little sister when he too felt so torn inside?

His instincts took over and he hesitantly put his arms around Momo in a gentle, shy motion. She finally broke down crying when she felt him returning the embrace. Momiji never imagined that the first time he and Momo hugged they would be so desperately trying to get and to give comfort to each other. Just how much had he longed and feared this moment! He pulled her tighter against him, resting his chin among the golden curls on the top of her head as she enjoyed the lulling thumping of his heart.

A _real_ smile on his lips contrasted with the lone tear running down his cheek. Wrapping his sister with the sleeves and the sides of his coat, he enjoyed the sad, bittersweet feeling of his sister's hug for the first time in his life.


	9. In front of the graves

Another quick note: I have no idea at all about the maiden name of Momiji's mother, so I just made it up, as well as Grandma's name. Another thing. I realized that I never bothered to write a disclaimer, but honestly, who would believe that I own Fruits Basket? Anyway, so that you know, I don't own it. There you have it. Sorry for taking so long to update.

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Momo finally looked up to his face. This was the first chance she had to see him so close. There were so many emotions lurking in those eternally sad eyes of his! The first thing she noticed was that they were exactly the same color as her mother's: a very rare shade of brownish gold, with some specks of blue scattered near the center. They were also slightly more slanted than her own, which gave them an exotic appearance. She had never noticed that before. His eyes were kind, just as she remembered, and somehow she knew for sure that he cared for her. They looked old, as if he had experienced more sorrow in his twenty two years than most people in a whole lifetime.

She noticed the lone tear trailing down his cheek, and she wiped it away with her index finger. 'Is he crying for me?' The thought hurt her deeply, though she couldn't explain to herself why. Suddenly, she felt the urge to protect him, to comfort him.

Without a word, she touched the tip of his freckled nose with the tip of her finger. Recognition crossed his eyes and he immediately imitated her with a chuckle. His eyes lit up with a new emotion that she could only describe as joy.

They both still remembered.

Brigitta couldn't take her eyes off the stranger that was hugging her granddaughter at that moment. When she turned to Momo to tell her to go back home, he was there already. She didn't see him coming. She had been positive that she knew every single relative that had come to the funeral today, and she didn't recognize him at all. However, he looked too much like a Haas to not to be a relative. He even reminded her of someone she had seen in one of those old pictures that she kept of her ancestors. She just couldn't place him anywhere in the family.

By the way the rest of said family still present stared at him; most of them were having the same problem as she.

Momo and the young man, however, were oblivious to the stares and whispering around them. To anyone, it was obvious that they were really close, though none of them had seen him ever before. Someone pointed out the fact that they looked a lot alike, but then again, wasn't Momo an only child? Though curiosity was eating at them, no one dared to approach the couple. Momo's grandmother was the first to walk to them.

-"Momo dear?" asked the old woman hesitantly. She didn't know what else to say. Momo turned to her and the stranger finally let go of the girl. Brigitta could tell that he was just as curious as to who she was as she was about him. Now that she was closer, she couldn't help but to stare. The only word she could think of to describe him was 'beautiful'. He had a kind of beauty that seemed ethereal. Who exactly was he?

Momo looked at her and smiled for the first time since the death of her parents. The man finally spoke to her in German.

-"Good morning. My name is Momiji Souma. Pleased to meet you" – he said. He then bowed with such natural grace and elegance that she was speechless. His smile reminded her of someone, but she couldn't place that either. He spoke clearly, but slowly, and he had an accent that she recognized immediately as the same that her son in-law could never overcome, even after years living in Germany.

-"Souma?" –now she was totally lost. He was a Souma?

-"Yes, grandmother, he is Momiji. My cousin. Remember I told you about him when I got here?   
About how much I missed him?" –and then she turned to Momiji, a question just occurring to her "You came all the way from Japan?"

Momiji flinched inwardly at being called "cousin", but he didn't show it. It took him a few seconds to catch up on what Momo just said before he answered.

-"Yes. I'm sorry I couldn't make it on time."-he sounded really sorry.

-"Don't worry. The important thing is that you are finally here." –Momo hugged him once more, and Brigitta could tell by the way he stood that he was uncomfortable with the public display of affection, or was it that he didn't like physical contact? She remembered that Momo's father was like that, so she assumed that it must be a cultural thing. His face, however, and specially his eyes, told her of how deeply he cared about Momo, and that melted her wariness of him.

-"Momo." –Brigitta finally said. –"It's freezing! Let's go home. We can continue this conversation there." –She then spoke to Momiji. "You are welcome to come, of course."

-"I'd love to! I came with a friend though. Is it okay if she comes over too?" –Momiji asked hesitantly.

-"Of course" –answered Brigitta with a little smile.

Just when Momo was about to ask who the friend was, she noticed a young woman standing a few steps away, a bouquet of flowers in her arms.

-"Tohru? Is that really you?" –asked Momo in German.

-"Momo-chan" –She said. Though she had been standing there for a few minutes now she didn't have a clue on what they were talking about. She could read every single emotion that crossed Momiji's face and eyes, though, and apparently Momo was happy to see him too. It never ceased to amaze her how much they were alike. By the way the people around looked at them, they noticed it too. Tohru smiled.

-"Tohru was so kind to join me in this travel. You know she's my best friend, so when I told her the reason why I was coming, she decided to accompany me." – Momiji called Tohru in Japanese, and the girl joined the little group, standing at Momiji's side. Momo gave her a tight hug as she struggled to tell her how glad she was to see her again in broken Japanese. Momiji noticed, but chose to ignore it for the time being. Instead, he explained to Tohru about the invitation to Momo's house. Tohru smiled shyly, and she glanced around nervously before finally nodding. She felt like she was being scrutinized by everybody there.

Momiji looked around for the source of his friends' discomfort, and he proudly realized that people were talking about the gorgeous young woman standing next to him. He didn't like the way the men were ogling at her like a pack of hungry wolves, though. A rush of possessiveness made him do something that he never dared before: he put his arm over her shoulders as they started to walk. Tohru shot him a surprised look, but said nothing about it. Her smile was enough to make him know that she was okay with it.

As they passed before the graves, Momiji stopped. Before he could say a word, Tohru gave him the flowers. She bowed quietly to both of them and started to walk away with Grandma to allow the siblings some privacy. Momiji knelt on one knee in front of his parents' graves. At his questioning look, Momo made a gesture with her hand as she pointed at each one in turn: "Papa" to the left one and "Mama to the one on the right.

Momiji unwrapped the stems of the flowers to reveal two small bouquets instead of one. They weren't exactly the kind flowers he would've liked, but rather the only ones he could find at that time of the year and under the current weather conditions. As he laid them on each of the graves, he softly whispered "Papa" and "Mutti" so low that Momo didn't hear.

He always believed that when this day came he would feel torn and distraught, but as he stood up in front of the graves of his parents he realized that he didn't care anymore. He overcame the angst, the loneliness, the hurt, the anger and all the overwhelming feelings that had tormented him over the years until they became nothing.

He had lost all of his feelings for them. It was a startling revelation.

He bowed to the graves before turning his back to the past that they represented and started to walk in the direction of Tohru and Momo.

He knew what he had to do now, and he was not giving it up this time.


	10. Grandmother

Momiji started to plan what he wanted to do ever since he and Tohru got in the plane and he had those many long hours with nothing to do but to sleep or to think. It was a welcome respite after all the rush and the hassle of the previous hours.

He knew exactly what he wanted now, but he didn't know which would be the best way to approach the situation. Was he going to tell Momo the truth about how they were related? What would she say? At first he thought that she would be delighted to know that he was her onii-chan for real, but now he wasn't so sure. How was he going to explain to her the reason why they were kept apart? He couldn't prove the curse to her anymore. He heard the way Momo struggled to speak in Japanese, and he didn't like that though he reluctantly admitted to himself that maybe she never had a chance. His own father taught him to speak German before he learned anything else, and even later, he rarely spoke to him in Japanese unless they were in front of others. It made sense to think that Momo had been taught the same way, and that maybe they had dropped the language entirely after they moved. That would explain Momo's poor language skills. He believed that it was just an indication of other major changes.

The problem with that was that maybe she wouldn't be as happy to move back to Japan with him as he originally thought. Besides, there was the unexpected presence of her grandmother. '_Our grandmother'_, he rephrased in his mind with a smile at her through the rearview mirror. It was hard to believe that the woman driving the car at that moment and himself were related. He felt no connection with her, no _call of the blood_. It seemed to him that she didn't sense anything either. She was another unfamiliar face in this strange country. What if this woman wanted to keep Momo by her side now that she had lost her daughter? He frowned unconsciously at that.

He was going to offer Momo the option as soon as he had the chance, anyway. He just had to think of a way to tell her that would make her agree. He playfully considered kidnapping her, but the afterimage of a caged bunny made him think otherwise. Striped clothing never suited him well. He would look like a zebra instead of a rabbit! He laughed at his own joke loud enough for everyone in the car to notice.

Momo and Tohru were trying to have a conversation about the trip when they heard Momiji laugh. Apparently, his inner monologue was far more interesting than what they were saying at that moment. They realized that he hadn't been paying attention to them. Momo decided to focus her whole attention on her _onii-chan._

-"I can't believe that you're here!" –Momo seemed to have an obsession with _touch._ She couldn't keep her hands off Momiji. At first, he felt uncomfortable, but after the first few minutes he finally relaxed his body and started to enjoy the contact. Right now, Momo decided to seize his arm and hug it tightly.

-"I can't believe it either." He put on the happy mask once again for Momo's benefit. It wouldn't help her at all if everybody around kept reminding her of her loss.

His first thought was to speak to Momo in their native language, but seeing the lost expression on _their _grandmother's face, he decided that it would be rude to the older woman. With an apologetic look to Tohru who just answered with an understanding smile, Momiji continued in German:

-"'I'm sorry that we meet again under these circumstances, but until your father's secretary called, I had no idea of where to find you." –Recognition crossed Grandmother's eyes and she changed her posture slightly, an indication that she was listening intently to the conversation. Tohru relaxed and just admired the scenery.

-"You didn't know? But I sent the new address to you as soon as we got here! I stopped writing because I never got a letter back from you, so I thought that you didn't want to know about me anymore." –Momo was genuinely surprised, and Momiji believed her immediately. Their bond was still so strong that he just knew she was telling the truth.

-"I never received your letters." –Momiji said quietly, without reproach. His voice had a subtle finality, though, that told Momo that they should continue the conversation when they were alone and free to talk about it.

Brigitta felt disconcerted. The young man sitting in the backseat with her granddaughter… he looked too much like someone from her family… but no, he clearly said that his family name was Souma… Momo was an only child, wasn't she? No. She wasn't. But how? _That_ baby was dead. She never even got to see him, since he was born two months before time. She was still preparing for the trip when her heartbroken daughter called her to tell her the news. How old would he be now? Twenty? No. Twenty-two. She never even knew if the baby had a name… she must've been imagining things. What was she thinking? It was impossible…

Meanwhile, Momo snuggled up to Momiji and they continued in silence the rest of the way.

The house where the Soumas had lived surprised Momiji. The place was smaller than the one they had back in Japan, but after he entered, he found that the place had a rather cozy atmosphere about it. It must have been Momo's mother's touch. '_Our mother's touch', _he corrected himself again. It was the first time in years that he was invited to _their_ house, too bad that they weren't there anymore. _'No, _he thought with a grimace_, I'm in here because they're not.'_

Brigitta excused herself and started lunch in the kitchen, while the young people stayed in the living room. Momiji wanted to talk with Momo seriously about topics other than school, graduation and, in between giggles from Tohru and Momo, boys. After they started on that particular rocky path, Momiji found himself excluded from the conversation, which he didn't really mind. He was enjoying the view of the two girls together from across the room.

His conscience, however, reminded him that it would be polite to offer some help in the kitchen and with just a little gesture that neither girl really paid attention to, he figured his way there.

'_Our grandmother.'_ Momiji thought when he saw her slicing some vegetables for what he guessed would be a salad. She didn't look like her daughter at all, so he supposed that both Momo and him self got their looks from _their_ grandfather.

She was beautiful, though. Her bright pale blue eyes, her hair that looked like platinum thanks to the abundance of white hairs intertwined with the few remaining blonde ones, her aristocratic air… Somehow, when he first looked at her, he knew that this woman had a strong spirit and fierce determination.

He sighed as he imagined what it would've been like to have her when he was little. Would she have taken care of him when his mother rejected him? Would she have stood up for her grandchild? Or would she have decided that he was just a 'creature' to which she had no attachment at all? _'I'll never know'_

Brigitta felt his presence and recognized him even without looking up. He stood there for a few seconds doing what she guessed was studying her. When the silent analysis became uncomfortable, she looked up with a smile on her face that she only had whenever she felt nervous.

Momiji's eyes grew round with surprise. Brigitta didn't know why, but suddenly, the confident young man standing on the door looked like a scared child, like a cornered rabbit. He couldn't hold her gaze for more than a couple of seconds, and then he looked at one of the counters across the room and directly behind her. She noticed that he breathed deeply once, twice, before he finally looked up to her confused eyes.

-"How can I help?" –he asked with a smile.

Brigitta almost dropped the knife she was holding. She finally recognized that face, or rather, _that_ smile. She left the knife on the table and walked to him without a word.

Once she stood before him, she held her hands out and asked hesitantly in a whisper:

-"Can I?" –He didn't understand what she meant, but he nodded his consent anyway.

He didn't know what was happening, only that _their_ grandmother silently took his face in her hands and tilted it down so that she could see his eyes closely. He didn't pull back as he would've by now any other time. Instead, he looked at her eyes too, allowing her to read his own. Her eyes were wise, compassionate and loving. He knew right there that this woman would have fought for him, protected him from his own mother. He felt a pang of pain when he realized that he never had the chance to know this woman, of becoming his grandson.

-"How old are you?" –she asked. She hadn't taken her eyes off his the whole time. She still cradled his face in her hands.

-"Twenty-two." –he replied in a calm voice. He didn't understand what was happening; he could only stand there while _his_ grandmother saw into his soul for the first time.


	11. Stay

-"Who are you?" –Brigitta asked as she tried to process the information she just received. He had the right age, the same eye color, the hair, that particular smile! It all matched, but…

"Where are you, Momiji!" –Brigitta and Momiji heard the girls coming. Momiji pulled back a little, and Brigitta dropped her hands. She looked back at Momiji for a second, and she was shocked to see that his face had changed already. He smiled broadly now, and, by the way he stood, he had regained his self-confidence. Now that she looked at him in light of her suspicions, he looked more familiar. He _felt_ familiar. She couldn't stop herself from thinking that this young man could very well be… but no, how could he be? Her rational mind kept on debating with her heart. As much as she wished for it to be true, she realized the impossibility of it.

The girls finally came into the kitchen, and all of them fixed lunch in no time. Tohru was pretty good at cooking, and Brigitta complimented her on her skills. Momiji translated for her with pride. Tohru smiled sincerely, and bowed in return.

Momiji and Tohru volunteered to set the table while Momo and Brigitta finished with the food. When they were done, they brought it to the dining room, only to be greeted by an unexpected sight.

Momiji and Tohru worked together in silence. Their movements were coordinated, complementing each other's, communicating silently through occasional glances. Their long, close friendship had given them an understanding of each other that most couples achieved only after a lifetime together. It was a strong, solid bond between soul mates. They looked perfect together as a couple.

What shocked Momo the most was the peaceful smile on Momiji's lips at that moment. It was a one she had never seen before: one that actually reached his eyes and lit them up. He looked so different at that moment… so relaxed, so… content… She felt a pang of jealousy: she had had two boyfriends already, but neither of them had ever looked at her that way, with so much love and admiration.

Still in the jealous streak, Momo broke the silence by announcing that the food was ready, effectively ruining the moment for the young couple.

They all sat down at the table, talking about the trip and sharing travel stories. It was good to forget about their grief for a while. Momo actually laughed, which made her grandmother happy. It amazed her how much good the visit of this young couple was doing for her granddaughter. She would be fine.

After dinner Brigitta produced some cookies and tea out of seemingly thin air. Tohru was all smiles, practically bouncing in her seat at the sight of them, and she signaled her offer to serve the tea for all. Brigitta looked in silent evaluation at Tohru's graceful moves as she poured the tea and passed the cups to each of them with ease.

At last, it was Momiji's turn to receive the cup that Tohru offered to him. His eyes held so much love for this girl, and yet, they looked pained, full of longing… She was right there and yet he looked at her as though she was something sacred and therefore forever out of his reach. Their fingers barely touched as the cup was exchanged. Momiji drew them back immediately, averting his eyes by pretending to look for a spoon. Though he tried to hide it under the blonde bangs that covered his downcast face, a slight blush colored his cheeks.

For a girl who could read him so well, Tohru seemed completely oblivious to the emotions that broke out, unbridled, on Momiji's normally carefree face.

Blissfully unaware of the silent struggle inside the former bunny, Brigitta inadvertently provided him with a way out.

-"Do you have your tickets for the flight back yet? You don't want to have any more problems than the ones you already had on your way here… You know, because of the season…" –She picked up where the previous conversation at the table had left off. Hopefully he wouldn't find the question rude, but it was the only way she could think of to say it. She had to know who this young man really was, and she wanted to know how much time she had left to find out. For some reason that she couldn't name right now, she had the distinct feeling that it was not going to be an easy task.

-"Yes, Momiji, how long are you going to stay? Please, tell me that you're moving to Germany to be with me!" –Momo asked only half joking. She hadn't realized until that moment that Momiji was _visiting_ her, and surely had to go back home soon.

Home. She didn't have that anymore, did she?

-"You don't know how much I wish that could be true, but we can't. We have to go back." –his voice sounded resigned to Momo, and she feared that he wouldn't be staying with her for more than a couple of days.

-"How much time can I have you with me, then?" –Momo asked hesitantly. She feared the answer she guessed she would be getting, and her voice conveyed her feelings effectively to her onii-chan.

-"I don't know. It depends…" –He left the cryptic answer hanging in the air for a few seconds. He sensed Brigitta's scrutinizing stare, and it distracted him. Momiji was intentionally avoiding eye contact with his grandmother, focusing his attention on Momo instead. He was still trying to figure out what had happened at the kitchen a few moments ago. He elaborated on his previous answer, unable to resist Momo's pleading eyes.

-"Tohru-chan has to be back soon. Rit-chan (our cousin) could only spare her a week, so she has to go back in four days. I came here representing the Souma family, and so I'll stay here for as long as necessary until I'm sure that you are well and properly taken care of." –Momiji's voice was all serious and very much business-like in an effort to conceal his nervousness for talking about this topic. In fact, he sounded too much business-like for Momo's liking.

-"So you're here because they asked you to come? Is this a business trip to you?" –Momo felt deeply hurt to think that he was here only out of duty, though a voice in the back of her mind kept screaming at the absurdity of that line of thought. Hadn't she felt already how much he really cared for her after all of these years? Unconsciously, she grabbed her bunny charm and held it tightly.

-"Momo, you know me better than that." –was his only reply. His tone of voice left no room for an argument on the topic. His face was serious at that moment, but his eyes held so much sincerity that it killed any further doubts. She flung herself into his arms, relieved. Momiji didn't even flinch this time; he wrapped an arm around her instead.

-"You have to go back to work?" –Brigitta asked. "But it's almost the holidays! Don't you take vacations at this time of year?" –Momiji smiled amused at the question, and quickly translated for Tohru. She too smiled, and then said something that made Momiji laugh wholeheartedly. His laughter made the remaining people in the room more curious as to what had been Tohru's reply.

-"What did she say?" –Brigitta asked.

-"Something about a rabbit…" –Momo tried to explain. Truth be told, it didn't make any sense. Her Japanese was clearly worse than she thought: She didn't understand most of what Tohru had said.

Momiji turned to their confused faces and tried to explain.

-"I'm sorry about that; it was… a joke that only we can understand." –Momiji struggled to find the words to explain. Tohru looked embarrassed for the situation she had put her friend in.

-"An inside joke, you mean." –Brigitta provided.

-"Right! Anyway, the point is, we don't celebrate Christmas like you do. We do exchange gifts, but for the family the main celebration is the New Year party at the main house." –Momiji explained excitedly.

-"I remember those. We went there every year, and I had a lot of fun playing with all the cousins." –Momo recalled. "There was another party too in the main house, but they never let us in to that one. I saw once the people going in, and I counted only nine! That's too few! What kind of a party is that!"

-"Thirteen." –Corrected Momiji

-"Huh?"

-"They should've been thirteen. It is a special party that only a few members of the family can go to, and trust me, we do have fun." –Momiji explained cheerfully.

-"You are invited to it? Great! What is it like?" –Momo was really curious now.

-"There's nothing special about the party itself. What makes it different is the people in it. So you see? I can't miss it!" –Momiji finished with a grin.

-"My parents and I always celebrated Christmas at home, even when we were in Japan… Papa brought the tree, Mama cooked dinner, and all three of us put on all the decorations. And now, they're not here…" –Momo broke down crying, remembering the plans that the family had already made for this year. Momiji hugged his sister tighter, at a loss of what to say or do.

-"I'm taking Momo to my house for the holidays. All the family gets together for Christmas. You see, Momo? We're not going to be alone."

-"No! I want to stay here! This is my home!" -Momo protested between muffled sobs, since she was still hugging Momiji. She needed her family with her, so she made a request that he couldn't refuse.

-"Please, _onii-chan_. Stay here with me for the holidays." –Her teary eyes trapped him. This was the first time that she called him that since they met again, and he felt once again the happiness that this title always produced in him. How could he say no to her? Still, he looked hesitant.

-"Onii-chan?" –Brigitta asked.

-"Older brother" –Momiji explained, finally looking at her for the first time since the episode at the kitchen. At her questioning look, he only shrugged and said: "It's something we agreed to a long time ago, before they came here."

Brigitta took the opportunity to trap him even more.

-"Then you should stay here for the holidays. Since Momo doesn't want to leave, then I guess that I'll stay here with her. She needs her family more than ever." Both Momo and Brigitta's eyes locked on him, expecting his answer.

Momiji exchanged a meaningful look with Tohru, and they both nodded in apparent agreement.

-"I'll stay, but you have to start thinking about what you want to do after that." –Momo understood the implied message without him having to say it: 'You need to think of what you want to do after the holidays.'

She rested her ear against his heart once more, the only thought in her mind being how happy she felt at that moment. His heartbeat made her feel safe and loved.

She had all the holidays to think about her future.


	12. Go to him

Momiji and Tohru stood at the door of the passenger waiting room at the airport. They had spent four days with Momo and her grandmother, and Tohru enjoyed every moment with them. She loved them both, and she wished that she could stay longer, but she couldn't. Rit-chan had called last night to make sure that she was going back.

-"Well Tohru, this is it. I can't follow you after this point. You'll have to go on by yourself. Will you be okay?" –For some reason, Tohru felt that these simple words held more meaning than that.

-"I'll be fine. I'm a big girl now. I can take care of myself." –she said, smiling and making a threat to an imaginary attacker with her arm. Momiji laughed. She would always be a little girl to him.

-"How about you? Will you be fine? I guess you will. You are with your family, after all." –she said.

-"My family… A family that don't know me." –he muttered in German, eyes hidden under his bangs. A second later, he lifted his face to meet Tohru's and the ever present mask was back on. –"I'll be fine. Don't worry!"

-"At least you're getting used to all the hugging and touching now. I had to stop myself from laughing out loud when I saw your face the first time Momo flung herself at you." –She was smiling, but her eyes were laughing.

-"Yeah. I'm getting better at it. Guess I was afraid that I would turn into a rabbit, even when I know that's not possible anymore." –he explained, embarrassed.

-"I always thought that _you_ would be the one to run and squeeze Momo until she couldn't breathe." – She continued, remembering just how strong Momiji really was despite his lean frame. Whenever he picked her up and spun her around, the floor disappeared from under her feet, and she felt like she was flying, supported by his strong arms.

-"One of these days you'll learn that when you've wanted something too much for too long, you can get very scared of actually getting your wish. Really, I was petrified, Tohru. What was I supposed to do? I had pictured a million scenarios for that occasion, and none of them came even close to the real thing." –He explained with a little laugh.

-"Have you thought about what I told you?" –she asked hesitantly, changing the subject abruptly. There was something in his eyes that she couldn't understand. She couldn't shake off the feeling that he was talking about someone else, besides Momo.

-"You know what I think. How can I tell them who I really am without having to explain about the curse and Hatori erasing my mother's memories? Do you realize how crazy that sounds? Who would believe that? I have no way to prove it to them anymore. Besides, what's the point in destroying the image that Momo has of her parents? That would only hurt her more." –The nervous smile surfaced once more, signaling that his barriers were up.

-"She loves you. She deserves to know, and you deserve to have your sister back." –she countered.

-"I can never have her back. I never had her to begin with. My father wouldn't allow it. He made it his own personal duty to sever all ties we may have had."

-"It seems to me like he failed. Momo and you are really close. She loves you like a brother already, and she doesn't even know who you really are."

-"I don't know how she would react to that. I'd rather not risk loosing what I have now."

-"Momiji, promise me that you'll fight for what you want. Don't give up this time. You have the right to be selfish once in your life. This is important for you, so don't feel bad about it." –Her voice was firm, and she spoke as if she was instructing a little child. 'She doesn't get it yet.' Momiji thought.

-"Sometimes there's no point in fighting a battle you've already lost." –Again, why did she feel like he was talking in riddles? She shot him a confused look, and he grinned, amused.

-"I'm not giving up on Momo this time, but you can't always have what you want. Many times you have to make sacrifices so that the people you love can be happy." –he recited what he had told himself over and over all these years.

-"Does that make _you_ happy?" –She demanded an honest answer, and Momiji complied.

-"I should say that it does, that it is enough, but it isn't. The truth is; you have to learn to live with it, with the consequences of the choices you've made. You may even have to see that which you have given up everyday, keeping your distance and just dealing with your feelings on your own." –The smile never faltered through the whole explanation, contradicting the seriousness of his statement.

-"But you have given up too much already… How can you think of doing that once more?"

-"I'm not unselfish or anything. If I was I wouldn't feel so much rage and jealousy sometimes! I've tried to control these feelings, but I can't! One of these days I'm just going to snap and blurt out everything!" –he lowered his head, unable to keep up the cheerful act any longer. He spoke so low that Tohru had a hard time making out the words.

-"Why do you have to control, to hide what you feel? That's unfair!" –Tohru protested. This was the first time that he was willing to talk about it, and she was dying to know what he really thought.

-"I could never show my real feelings, or people would be hurt. It's best if I hide them away." –'…even if it's killing me inside.' Momiji finished in his mind. "I guess I'm pretty good at it, since nobody ever notices anything. Not even when I can't stop those emotions from becoming too obvious."

That strange tone of voice again. Now Tohru was sure that he was hinting at something else.

-"Momiji, don't worry about us. We will understand whatever it is you think or feel because we care for you. We know you. Please, tell me." –she explained to him trying to sound reassuring.

-"You don't know what you're asking of me." –he whispered in a pained voice. Tohru couldn't stand his downcast face anymore.

-"Momiji, please look at me. I want to see your eyes. How can I understand you if you don't let me see your face?" –She was starting to worry.

-"How can you be so blind?" –he still didn't look up.

-"What are you talking about? Momiji, look at me!" –it was not a request.

-"How can you presume to know me better than anyone else when you haven't been able to see the one feeling that I can't hide from the rest of the world?" –he finally lifted his face, and Tohru was shocked to see that unidentifiable emotion she'd been seeing in his eyes for so long. When did she get used to it to the point that she stopped noticing?

-"How can I know when you won't tell me?" –she asked in a frightened whisper. She didn't want to identify that emotion. What would happen once she acknowledged it?

-"If you don't know yet, there's no point in me telling you now." –Momiji took her by the shoulders and Tohru looked up at him scared and confused. "I gave up on that feeling a long time ago when I realized that it would always be one-sided, but I will never give up on you. We will always be best friends, right?" –he gave her a sad, resigned smile. She felt overwhelmed by the intensity of that same sadness reflecting in his eyes.

A voice in the speakers interrupted them, announcing her flight. Momiji looked up, focusing his attention on the intruding voice. He finally let go of Tohru, and took a step back. After two long, stabilizing breaths, he looked back at her.

-"Now it is time to follow your own advice. I'm letting you go, Tohru. Go to him. He's waited long enough."

This time she didn't need more explanations to know exactly who Momiji was talking about.

-"Is it that obvious?" –She asked shyly.

-"You could never hide it from me. I know you." Tohru knew then that his sad smile would haunt her for years to come.

Tohru blushed. Gathering all the courage she could muster, she leaned forward on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the cheek. She waved goodbye and then turned her back on him, walking slowly. Momiji stood there, watching her leave, never looking back.

'Be happy. It won't be the same when we see each other again.'

Momo and Brigitta walked to him and stood by his side as he was still looking at her retreating back. They had seen them talking from a distance, and didn't hear what was said.

-"How can you bear to let her go? It's so clear to anyone that you two belong together… that you love her." Momo's voice broke the silence between them.

-"She was never mine, and I did a good job of hiding my love from her." –He spoke to no one in particular, just thinking aloud. He didn't care at that moment that he was talking about his most secret feeling so openly. He needed release.

-"Where can you hide something like that?" –asked Momo, confused.

-"In the last place she would ever find it: by her side."


	13. Oniichan

Brigitta locked herself in the office that her son-in-law had at his house. Even though she realized how ludicrous the thought was, she couldn't get it out of her mind. She needed to find something, anything that would prove her wrong… or right. What would she do if she found out that she was right? What would he say? Did he know? She knew that the easiest way to find out was asking him directly, but she was aware of how crazy it would sound, and so she wanted to have some kind of proof before confronting him. Seizing the opportunity presented to her that day, she couldn't wait any longer: Momo and Momiji had gone out to get a Christmas tree. With the holidays just a week away, they were starting the preparations. She remembered their faces as they left that morning, their bright eyes and cheerful voices. They behaved like a pair of toddlers. They were so much alike that it scared her sometimes. If she was wrong… then how was this possible?

She only wished that Momiji could get used to the driver's seat on the opposite side of the car.

Momo couldn't keep her eyes off Onii-chan. He really was gorgeous. She couldn't wait till she could introduce him to her friends! She clung to his arm tighter while they walked on the street, feeling more than seeing the envious glares of every woman they passed by. It was a wonderful feeling. If she remembered correctly, her older cousins rivaled each other on the good looks department. She wondered how they looked like now, six years later. She had the sudden wish to visit her cousins at Japan to find out. She would have to ask Momiji later.

Momiji looked happy all the time, he was always smiling, joking, playing… Momo wondered if it was possible for a person to be so_ happy all the time_. She had a hard time believing it. After the episode at the airport that morning, she even doubted if he ever cried. If he could let the love of his life walk away with a straight face and not a single tear, then maybe he didn't care that much for her after all. And then she remembered his eyes, so full of love, and _that _lonely tear on his cheek the day they met again. He was so confusing! Was it all just a mask? What for?

Momiji interrupted her inner debate with an invitation for lunch. Momo suggested a place and guided the both of them to a nice little café just a few blocks away. Momiji liked the place instantly, and they both sat to wait for their menus. It was good to be indoors again. The streets were unusually cold, though Momiji didn't seem to mind much. He just commented casually on how hard it was to grab things with his gloves on.

Said gloves, of course, were the first to go. They giggled at seeing each other extricating themselves out of their coats, scarves, gloves, and in Momo's case, earmuffs. She noticed that Momiji's things were all in a variation of grey shades.

-"You don't wear colors anymore." –Momo pointed out.

Momo looked at her, confused for a moment, before he finished folding his scarf and put it on top of his dark grey coat on the chair next to him. Momo waited patiently. She knew he was going to answer.

-"I have to dress formally now, Momo. I can't go to work in a pink suit. Not that Rit-chan would mind." –he joked.

-"But why such boring colors? You've been wearing black, navy, and grey for almost a week! Don't you have anything else? I remember that you used to have much livelier clothing!" –Momo insisted.

-"I'm older now. Besides, believe it or not, the clothes replaced themselves in my closet little by little, until one day I realized that I didn't have a single pink shirt anymore." -his smile was sincere, so she knew that he was as amused at his own story as she was. "What about you? What colors do you like?" –he asked in return.

-"Well… definitely not black. The only black dress that I own was the one my grandmother gave me to wear at the funeral." At this, her voice wavered a little, but she kept on talking. "Personally, I find black depressing."

-"So you find my clothes boring _and _depressing. People say that things are like their owners, so I must be boring and depressing too." –he pouted. His tone of voice was such that Shigure would've been proud. Momo laughed.

She knew that he was teasing her, fishing for compliments. She didn't care. She was finally getting to know him better. Maybe she could figure out the riddle that he was. This was the first time that they had been together by themselves in a long time, and she was enjoying every second of it. It was so good to be able to just sit together for lunch without having to worry about someone walking in on them! It was a dream come true.

Momiji allowed her to order for him, and he complained in mock frustration about how much he missed chopsticks. She answered with an anecdote about her own poor attempts to master said utensils, before giving up on them completely. They had some at home, since her father was fond of them and preferred to use them every time he could. Momiji recalled a mental image of his father eating. A smile full of longing appeared on his face. He wondered how he had looked like after six years.

-"You remember my Papa." –Momo said. It wasn't a question. She could tell. He was resting his head on his left hand, his elbow bent on the table. He had a faraway look in his eyes, like he was looking at something distant.

-"I remember him." –Momiji agreed. "He was a good man, and I was fond of him." –his voice was tinged with so much nostalgia that she noticed.

-"How about Mama?"

-"I hardly remember her. Just a couple of memories from when I was very young, but I liked her." –he shrugged casually, but his voice sounded strained. "You look a lot like her. When I first saw you, I was shocked. She was beautiful." –Momiji explained with the same tone of voice.

Momo blushed at the indirect compliment. She was about to ask something else, when Momiji answered her question.

-"I came to see you." –It was short and simple, and yet so meaningful. Momo looked at him with so much trust and affection that he knew that this was the right moment.

-"You know that I'm almost eight years older than you. I graduated from university a week ago, but I've been working for more than three years now at one of the Souma companies. In fact, I've been administrating _your father's _company along with Rit-chan. We're doing well, don't worry." he explained with little laugh and a playful wink, "We've been even thinking about expanding the company, and starting our own business as partners. I'm your father's legal representative in Japan, which means that I had his trust. I'm also a respected member of our family, and I have my own place at the Main House." –He listed all of those details as something that he had been practicing for some time.

Momo was confused now. Where was he getting at?

-"Momo, can I ask you a question?" –he was serious now, but Momo's face didn't change. She trusted him.

-"Sure, _onii-chan_." –she answered immediately.

-"You don't have to answer now, but I want you to consider it. Will you?" –Momo nodded, still clueless. He had _that _smile on his lips again, the one that disconcerted her so much.

'It isn't like him to be so nervous. He usually is straightforward in everything he says. What is he going to ask me?' Still, Momo waited for him to continue.

-"When I agreed to be your _onii-chan_ I promised that I would always take care of you, remember?" Momo nodded again. "I want to keep my promise. Not just because of it, but because I really care about you."

He hesitantly took her hands and held them carefully between his own. Looking straight into her eyes, he finally asked:

-"Momo, would you like to go back to Japan as my little sister and live with me?"


	14. Going home

Brigitta knew that in order to have an opportunity to talk to Momiji, she needed to make him move into the house with them. He had refused to do it when Tohru was around, saying that they didn't want to inconvenience them and that they were fine.

Brigitta wouldn't hear any of it this time.

The day after Tohru left, the woman drove under the falling snow to the hotel where he was staying at. It was very early in the morning. Momo was still sleeping when she left the house.

She decided to call him from the lobby rather than just knock on his door and surprise him. The phone rang about ten times before he finally picked it up.

-"Moshi moshi." –he answered mechanically. She had to resist the urge to giggle. His voice was sluggish; she guessed that the phone had interrupted his sleep.

Brigitta recognized the greeting. Momo's father also had slips like this once in a while. Now that she recalled those episodes, she thought that Momiji's voice sounded very much like that of her son-in-law's on the phone. Right now, Momiji's voice was deeper, older. Another coincidence; a rather unsettling one. She decided to play along with the sleepy man.

-"Momiji-kun?" –She remembered that one. Another thing she owed to her son-in-law.

-"Obaa-san?" –another automatic, thoughtless answer.

Brigitta froze when she heard him. Of course she knew that word! Momo used to call her that when she was little. It stirred a million feelings in her heart, and a jumble of thoughts in her brain.

'Does he call me 'grandmother' in his mind?' –The fact that it had been said in his native tongue while being practically unconscious made it all the more meaningful for her. It meant that it had been an instinctive response, given while he was in a condition when he couldn't remember how he was supposed to react. Tears threatened to blur her vision.

Unfortunately, she ran out of Japanese words to say.

-"Can I go up?" –she asked shyly.

-"Huh?" –came the unintelligent reply.

-"I'm at the lobby. I came to pick you up." –She explained patiently. A few seconds passed before he answered:

-"Mrs. Hass.?" –Brigitta felt disappointed. Apparently he was awake now. "Sure! Come up!" –his voice had taken its characteristic cheerfulness again.

-"I'll be there in a minute." –she finished.

His room was white. That was the first impression she got when he opened the door. It was a nice room, with expensive furniture and a plush carpet on the floor, but everything in it was white. It reminded her of a hospital room. So cold, like snow. Hotel rooms lacked the warmth of a home, despite all the work decorators put into trying to imitate it.

Momiji was still in his pajamas, trying unsuccessfully to tame his blonde locks with his hand. Even then, he looked extremely handsome. She wondered how Tohru could resist falling in love with him.

Against the screaming voice of reason inside her head, her heart filled with pride. Momiji had to be _him._

-"I'm sorry Mrs. Haas for meeting you dressed like this. I just woke up. If you would sit down for a minute, I'll go and change." –he rushed the words, clearly embarrassed.

-"No. Don't go yet. I want to talk with you. Please." –She didn't want to talk to him dressed in some formal dress shirt and pants. It was too formal clothing for someone so young and apparently happy. She liked this more relaxed Momiji still in pajamas and with messy hair.

Momiji nodded and sat down on the bed, in front of her chair. He finally managed to comb his hair into the right position with his fingers. He was intrigued now. Brigitta had the same look in her eyes that she had that day in her kitchen for a moment, and then she composed herself and took on a more formal attitude.

-"Momiji, we need to talk about Momo. If I remember correctly, you said that you were here representing the Soumas, and that you would see that she was well and taken care of. Is that right?" –Her voice and body language radiated self-confidence.

Momiji took a couple of seconds to process the question in his brain (he had just gotten out of bed, after all). Shifting his stance, he sat straight and gazed into the woman's eyes. His eyes were suddenly cold, unrelenting. A polite smile on his lips contrasted with them. She thought that this is how he must look like when making a business deal. Whatever he had already decided, it was clear to her that he was not giving in.

-"Yes. I am taking Momo back with me after the holidays." –He said casually. Brigitta squirmed slightly in her seat, but she was not giving up.

-"I can't let you do that." –she said simply.

-"I can and I will. I'm in charge of the administration of Mr. Souma's businesses and properties in Japan, and I represent his interests in all legal matters. It will be easy to gain the custody of Momo." – He said in a clear, crisp voice. It was not open to discussion. If possible, his eyes were colder now, hard and distant. He had clearly planned this long ago.

-"Is it about the money? Is that what you want?" –Brigitta was hurt, and didn't want to believe it. Momiji could see that clearly, but he was not letting his own emotions get in the way this time, or he would end up giving in to this woman. He kept on smiling.

-"I don't need her money. I have my work, my own money, and I have my own inheritance too. Momo isn't the only heir of the family." –Brigitta had the impression that he wasn't talking about the Soumas in general, but about a branch of the family in particular.

She had to ask him. She needed to find out somehow.

-"Are your parents dead, too?"

-"Yes." –was the short reply. He didn't feel like telling her anything else on the subject. However, she was not letting go of it so easily.

-"Both of them? How old were you?" –he could tell that she was really curious.

-"My mother died when I was four, and my father when I was sixteen." –The answer came a little too fast, like he had explained this too many times in the past already. This time, however, his voice held a finality that would've made most people quit the subject. The smile disappeared from his face.

Brigitta was shocked. So he was not him after all. She felt like she had lost someone very dear to her. He was a stranger after all. 'But how…?' She brought herself out of those thoughts. She would take the time to think this over later. Right now, her priority was to keep Momo with her.

-"I won't let you take her away. I am her grandmother and you are her _cousin_. I'm her closest living relative, and I want her with me." –Her voice regained all of its strength and resolution.

Momiji didn't even flinch. He knew that this would come up; after all, she didn't know who he really was. He smiled inwardly despite himself at seeing her so determined. 'So this is where I got it from. I'll have to tell Tohru.'

-"I am a close relative too, and trust me when I say that _that _is not going to be a problem." –Momiji declared with certainty. He smiled at her.

'That smile again! How can he be so much like her and not be her child?' –Brigitta couldn't understand this.

-"You want me to give her to you…" –she began after a moment.

-"She is not yours to give. She is a Souma. She belongs to us." –he interrupted. Then, he corrected himself. "No, she belongs to no one. We just want her back home."

-"Who wants her to go back there? Is this an order from the Souma family?"

-"I want her back. She will be living with me and I will personally take care of her."

-"You want me to let go of my grandchild," she corrected herself, "a girl of fifteen so that she can live in another country with a single young man in his house?"

-"What are you implying?" –he seethed. He managed to erase any emotion from his face, turning it into a blank mask.

-"I think that you know well what I'm talking about. What will people think? If you want to protect her, you have to guard her good name too."

Momiji smirked.

-"I can assure you that nobody at home will have the same doubts as you. Her reputation is safe with me." –His voice betrayed some amusement.

-"Home? How do you know that she wants to go back, or if she even thinks of your country as '_home'_? She is well adjusted to this country, to the people, the culture, even the language! Haven't you noticed that she can't even speak Japanese well anymore? Besides, how do you know that your family will accept Momo? My daughter, her mother, never really felt like she belonged there. The Soumas never accepted her because she was a foreigner. She told me about all the glares she received whenever she visited the Main House, as you call it. How do you know that they won't do the same to Momo? That's one of the reasons why her husband agreed to move. They made new friends here, and they met their _real_ family. This is where they made their home."

-"They brought her here as a child. It's only natural that she adapted well. But I remember her crying when she said goodbye to me because she didn't want to leave. I am like Momo. My mother was a foreigner too, and they have never treated me different from the rest. The real reason why the Soumas never liked your daughter was because they could never accept something she did."

-"What are you talking about? What did my daughter do?" –This was something she had never heard of before.

Momiji continued as if he didn't hear her. -"I asked Momo to consider going back with me. She promised to think about it."

-"What if she doesn't want to go with you? What will you do then?"

-"I will not drag Momo away against her will. That is her decision to make, not yours, not even mine." –He shrugged, but for the first time she could see some uncertainty in his eyes, even fear. She pressed on the subject.

-"I'm not letting her go so easily, even if she wants to. I think that as her grandmother, I know what is best for her better than she knows herself. I don't want her to make a decision now that she will regret in the future. So, if you want me to give her to you, you'll have to prove to me that you have more right than I to claim the custody of her."

-"How?" –He was really interested now. 'Is she willing to compromise?'

-"That's something for you to figure out on your own. And don't think that you've already won. This is my country after all. The law will be on my side."

-"I am willing to fight for her against anything and anyone. If she wants to go with me, that is…" 'I am not letting you take her from me this time. Not again.'

-"I think that a fight over her is the last thing she needs now. It will hurt her deeply." –Brigitta told him.

-"I agree with you." Momiji dropped all his defenses and offered in a calm voice. "Please, let's not talk about this again until after the holidays. Then we will reach an agreement depending on Momo's decision. Is that okay with you?"

-"Momo loves Christmas. It's going to be hard for her to celebrate the holidays just a few days after the death of her parents." –Brigitta explained. "I agree to wait until after Christmas to talk with Momo about this."

'_Obaa-san_, you really care about Momo, don't you? Am I really doing the right thing taking her away from you?'

Momiji looked at her with an unreadable emotion in his eyes. Brigitta softened her voice more to state her offer.

-"Momo loves you like an older brother, and I am her grandmother. We are her family. I came to pick you up this morning because I want you to check out of the hotel and stay at home with us."

-"Stay at your _home _with you for Christmas?" His eyes were so hopeful now that he looked like the lonely child he had once been, craving love and acceptance. Brigitta had no way of knowing what her offer meant to him, but she recognized the emotions behind his bright eyes and slightly quivering voice.

-"But…" –he hesitated. He didn't know if he should accept her offer. It was his parent's house after all, and they never wanted him there. It was hard enough for him to visit, how was he going to manage to sleep under that roof, in a house so full of memories that didn't include him? He would feel like an intruder…

-"Please, Momiji." –Brigitta asked once more.

Momiji looked at her. Her voice was kind, as well as her eyes. He really wanted to know her better. He wondered how it would be like to be hugged and spoiled by his grandmother. Maybe he could get an opportunity to find out if he stayed with them. He smiled shyly a sweet, calm smile and nodded his consent.

Brigitta let go of the breath she had been holding in anticipation. She was not giving up. It didn't matter to her that what he said didn't match with the story she knew. This young man, this _child_, had to be him. Her grandson. She smiled tenderly at him.

-"I'll help you pack. We can have breakfast with Momo at home, okay?"

Momiji nodded once again and silently began to hand her the clothes that she then folded and put in the suitcase carefully. As he watched her, he kept thinking:

'I'm going home with my family for Christmas.'

Brigitta watched him walk around the room carrying things and handing them to her silently. The cold, distant business man from a few minutes ago was gone and replaced by a shy boy with a wistful smile. When he left her alone while he changed, Brigitta dropped something that fell out of a black box. She bent down to pick it up only to discover that it was a photo album. Curiosity got the better of her and she leafed through the pages from where a little four year-old boy smiled sadly at her. Then she came across a picture of her son-in-law hugging the boy (who she had by now recognized as Momiji), both smiling. The last picture made tears blur her vision once more.

It was a picture of her daughter.


	15. Orphan

Momo woke up to an empty house.

It should've been scary for her after the recent events, but right now she welcomed the peace and solitude of the silent house.

She hadn't been able to sleep until well into the night, and so she woke up at the usual time after only three hours of sleep. She thought better than to try to go to sleep again. It would be pointless.

She sat on the sofa in the living room, hugging her knees to her chest trying to stay warm. Her long, wavy hair ran across her back unbound and a little messy. Though she had her slippers on and flannel pajamas, she still felt cold. She just couldn't figure out yet if the frosty air around her was the result of the cold winter or the absence of her parents. She missed them so much! She knew that she could turn on the heater, or even the chimney, but she didn't want to move from her spot.

Momo just wanted to sit there and think. She needed time on her own to mourn the loss of her parents, and until that morning, she hadn't been alone for more than a couple of minutes.

She breathed deeply and buried her face between her knees. She had many things to think about.

Her mind kept replaying the moment in which Momiji offered to take her back to Japan to live with him. She wasn't expecting that. She always dreamed of seeing Momiji again, but she never thought about what she would do after that.

The thing was that she never imagined that she would be seeing him again at her parents' funeral, and that was what made all the difference, because now all she had was an empty house. She had no family left. Sure, she had her grandmother, and all her relatives in Germany: her cousins, aunts and uncles. She loved them, and she felt loved by them. She knew that she only had to ask any of them and they would take her in.

But somehow, even knowing that they were there for her, she still felt like she had no family.

'I'm an orphan now.'

The truth that she had been denying to herself for the past week came upon her like a ton of bricks, crushing her so much that breathing became almost painful. Tears ran down her cheeks as her body shook uncontrollably.

She remembered then how she always argued with her parents about how she was old enough to take care of herself…

'…and now that I'm alone to fend for myself, I'm terrified. I don't know what to do. I guess I'm a child after all.'

She was sure that her grandmother had every intention of taking Momo back to her house as soon as the holidays were over. It was pretty obvious by the way she talked about the future. She just took it for granted.

'It's like I'm her property now.'

She didn't want to become someone else's property. Sure, she loved her grandmother, and they always had a great time together, but she didn't know if she could handle living with her for more than a couple of weeks. They had been under the same roof for only a week and already Momo felt like a caged animal sometimes.

'No matter how hard I try, there's always something that she thinks that I could've done better. I'm never good enough. She's always: 'Your mother could do that much better when she was your age.' 'Your mother did that when she was only twelve.' 'How come you don't know that? Your mother could do that since she was in elementary school.' Why can't she realize that I'm not my mother?'

'I don't want to live with her', she thought as she ran her fingers through her long hair.

And then there was Momiji. She loved him like a brother, and she knew that he cared for her, but she never expected him to offer to take her back to Japan. He said that she would be living with him as his little sister. She liked the idea, but…

…in the back of her mind, she couldn't forget that as much as she loved him and pretended that he was her _onii-chan_, he was her _cousin_.

And that meant that as much as he loved her in return, she would still be a burden. She didn't want to make a decision that both of them could regret in the future. What if after a year or so, he wanted to be free of the responsibility of taking care of a teenage girl? What if he wanted to live his own life, and realized that he was chained by a promise to another person who depended on him?

'Why would _onii-chan _want to take care of me? We like to pretend that we are brother and sister, but we know that we're not.'

But his eyes were so hopeful as he asked her to think about it! He had taken her small hands in his own as he said the words, and she could almost swear that he was trembling… Why was it so important to Momiji that she agreed to go with him?

'But if I go, what am I going to do? I can't even speak the language well anymore, so how am I going to live there? Onii-chan will want me to go to school, but how am I going to do that? They're going to make fun of me like when I was a kid! I like my friends here. I don't want to have to make new friends all over again! How can I live at the Main House, where I hardly know anyone? What if they don't like me?'

Her head started to hurt, and more than ever she wished that she could cry in her mother's arms while she told her that everything would be alright. She wanted to hear her father's soothing voice as when he talked to her at nights while she was starting to fall asleep. His voice was always kind and calm… she needed them with her now, but they were gone.

She broke down crying.

'I don't want to be alone, and I don't want to choose either!'

'What am I going to do now? Can I stay here at home? I'm old enough to take care of myself; I'm not a child anymore! I don't want to be a problem for anyone!' –she lied to herself again, trying to believe her own arguments.

'No matter what I do, I'll still lose my friends, my school, my home…'

She knew that Momiji had to go back to Japan in a few days, and her grandmother had already said that she couldn't move to Momo's house since she had a house of her own.

Staying was out of the question.

She stood up and started to walk around the house. Her fingers brushed against the photographs, the furniture, the decorations, memorizing every little thing that she had taken for granted until that moment. She knew that she would be leaving this house soon, whether she wanted to or not. She stopped when she reached the door to her parents' room. Nobody had been there since the day of the accident.

She opened it trying not to make any noise. Even though she was aware of the impossibility of it, she held her breath, expecting to see her parents standing there, smiling and telling her that it had been a mistake and that they were alive and well.

The room was empty.

Momo looked at his father's suit tossed randomly on a chair. As she touched the fabric, she remembered that it was the one that he wore to work that day. Her mother's make-up and perfume were randomly placed on the dresser. Their things lay scattered around the room, as if they only left for a couple hours and were coming back any moment.

She slumped to the bed and grabbed the sheets in desperation. The scent of her parents lingered faintly on the pillows.

She cried herself to sleep.


	16. Grandchild

Momiji walked to Brigitta with his pajamas neatly folded in his arms. He was so happy at that moment that he was actually grinning. He couldn't help it but to think that he was one lucky rabbit. He felt like bouncing up and down like a bunny. He was going home with his grandmother for Christmas. She asked him to come.

Brigitta stood facing away from him. She was looking at a book or something like that, and he got curious about it. She didn't notice him approaching her from behind until he could peer over her shoulder at whatever it was that she was holding. His smile disappeared when he realized exactly what she was looking at. He stood rooted to the spot as she slowly leafed through the pages with trembling hands. When she got to the picture of her daughter, _his mother_, she stopped.

She almost dropped the album, shocked. Just as she was starting to let go of it she felt more than saw a pair of strong hands close over her own, holding them. The sudden movement resulted in her standing in between Momiji's arms in a loose embrace.

Momiji was shocked beyond words. 'What am I going to do? Did she know about me? How am I going to explain this to her? Will she believe it?'

Brigitta squeezed her eyes to get rid of the tears. When she could focus clearly, her eyes lingered on their joined hands for a while. She didn't know what to say.

'Does he know? Why didn't he say something before? What is he going to say? What am I going to say to him?'

They stood like that for what they felt like hours, just enjoying the feeling of each other's proximity in silent hesitation. Momiji broke the moment when he took the photo album from her hands and stepped away from her to put it inside the suitcase. He closed it carefully, trying not to make a sound. All that could be heard in the room was the slow zipping and strapping until Momiji finally stood in front of his luggage, arms hanging at his sides. Brigitta stayed in the same spot the whole time, drinking in his every move and feature.

Throwing caution to the wind, she turned to him fully and smiled affectionately with her kind eyes full of tears.

-"They told me you were dead." –it was a whispered apology, but he heard it clearly in the silence of the room.

Momiji wasn't surprised by her words. He had to make a decision at that moment, though.

'Do I tell her a new lie or… do I take the risk and tell her the truth? Lying is the safest way out, but I'm so tired of pretending…'

-"Once, I actually wished that was true." –he answered slowly and quietly, afraid of ruining the moment by raising his voice above hers. He looked down, his bangs concealing his eyes.

-"How can you say that? Why would you think so?" –What could have made him think that?

-"I'm nobody, I have no one, and I don't belong anywhere, I thought back then." –he was struggling to find the right words to say what he wanted to tell her. He wished that he could just speak in Japanese… It would be so much easier!

He could feel his grandmother's eyes on him. He knew that she was waiting for him to continue.

-"It was on the day that Momo went to my house to say goodbye. I heard her talking to Tohru about their plans. She didn't want to leave. I hid so that I didn't have to face her then. I knew that I didn't have the strength to do it. After she left, I was alone in my house again. I thought a lot about what was happening, about my family, and me. My parents were leaving me behind and they were taking my little sister with them. I had begged my father to let me get close to Momo, but he wouldn't let me! I had seen him only a few days before and he didn't say anything to me about them going away! He never thought about me when he agreed to move… That day I realized so many things that for a moment I wished that I could just close my eyes and…" –his voice faltered, and he had to breathe slowly a few times to regain his self-control.

Brigitta noticed that his voice was strained and pained. 'What did they do to you?' Momiji finally lifted his head to continue. He was smiling sadly at her.

"I know better now. I realized that no matter what my parents did, there were people who cared about me." An image of Tohru flashed through his mind. His smile gained confidence. "I grew up; I don't need a mother and a father anymore."

Brigitta fought hard against the urge to hug him. She saw him struggling to find the right words and to force a smile on his face for her sake. 'How can he try to do that when I can clearly see that it's taking everything he has to not to break down and cry?' She kept herself from moving, however, afraid of what his reaction would be to her. She still remembered how uncomfortable he looked at first whenever Momo clung to him. She didn't want to make him feel worse. She could only say one word:

-"Why?" –it enclosed every single question that she had at that moment. She said it like a plea; she didn't dare to make any demands to this broken boy.

He thought for a moment before he began his story.

-"When I was born, I had a… something was wrong with me.' –at her questioning look he replied. "I'm fine now." –He continued. "My mother couldn't accept it. She refused to take care of me or even see me. She was so scared! My father tried to make it up to me whenever he could. We spent time together, we played and we went out. He didn't care that I wasn't a 'normal' child. But Ma… Mother got sick. She was so sick that Father asked me to help her. She said that she could get better if she forgot about me. Father asked me to let them erase me from her memory. He said that he would love me for the both of them. I believed him. I didn't really want her to forget me, but I said yes. After that, I could never go back to their house, and I didn't have a mother anymore. I was raised by the Soumas in the Main House. She got better with time, and some years later, Momo was born. Father asked me not to go near them, or even speak to them. He was afraid that she would remember me and get sick again, and I did as I was told. And then, six years ago, they left me. They came here to meet their 'real family', right?" –He said it all quietly but clearly.

Brigitta couldn't see his face, since he was looking down, but she could see the wistful smile on his lips as he spoke. She felt like she had been stabbed when he used her own words against her, even if his voice didn't hold any kind of reproach. She didn't know then…

-"How old were you when…" –she asked after a long pause.

-"Four."

-"So that's why you said…" –she recalled their previous conversation, when he talked about the 'deaths' of his parents.

-"Yes. It wasn't like they died for me. It was the other way around." –he explained.

-"I didn't know that you were alive. They told me that you were dead." –she apologized again in a broken voice.

-"They never told me about you either. The first time I heard about you was when Father's secretary called to tell me about his death. She said that Momo was with her grandmother." –His voice was calm, but stronger now.

-"Momo needs to know." –She thought abut the girl and thought about how happy she would be to know that she had a big brother.

-"Don't tell her anything yet. Please." –He begged. "I will find a way to tell her myself." –He said with that same nervous smile that he shared with his sister.

-"I won't fight you for Momo's custody. She's your little sister. You have the right to have her with you." –Brigitta had made up her mind. She couldn't fight against him. Ever.

–"I was curious at first and a little scared that you wouldn't like me." –He said, not mentioning the issue of Momo's custody. He didn't want to talk about that yet. They said they would do that after the holidays. "I like you." –He said simply. He smiled broadly as he spoke while he combed his hair with his fingers again.

-"I knew it was you almost from the start. It took me a while to figure it out, and even more time to get a proof, but you grew on me during these days even though I didn't know for sure. How could I not like you? You are my grandchild." –Her smile was so kind and loving that Momiji felt the sudden urge to hug her. He stopped, however, not sure of what her reaction would be. His smile kept growing with every passing second, though.

They stood there, facing each other for a moment, both enjoying their silent company.

And then, Momiji saw his grandmother open up her arms for him hesitantly. He saw once again her eyes so full of love that…

…he stepped forward. She took him in her arms like the little child that he once was, caressing his blond locks with one hand. Momiji didn't mind bending down. He put his arms around her once more and allowed her to play with his hair, touch his face and look into his eyes for as long as she wanted.

Brigitta wanted to make sure that he was real. She enjoyed the fact that he was letting her touch him.

She kissed her grandchild on both cheeks. He kissed his grandmother back. He laughed like a little boy. She messed up his hair again.

'_So this is what it feels like to be hugged and spoiled by my own grandmother_.' – Momiji thought.


	17. Rabbit

Brigitta didn't recognize the young man riding in the car with her. Ever since she let go of him in the room, he had been smiling, laughing and she could almost swear that she had seen him hopping… Yes, she couldn't believe it either. It was like this was a completely different person. She smiled as she thought that she liked this boy much more than the sad and distant young man she'd met before. He carried his luggage to the lobby, where he checked out and thanked the receptionist for everything. The young woman and the old lady exchanged amused looks as they saw him bow formally and say something in Japanese before he picked up his things once more and walked out of the hotel with the biggest grin either one had ever seen.

She couldn't understand how her daughter could reject this child. He was the sweetest boy she'd ever met. She was sure that he'd been a beautiful baby… 'Why?'

Another thing that she couldn't understand was how they had managed to erase Momiji from her daughter's memories. It was impossible, wasn't it? Why did her son-in-law agree to such a thing? How could he love his wife more than his own son? Even worse, how could he ask a four year-old child to agree with that? She wanted to ask Momiji so many things about it, but she would do it later. She didn't want to ruin what little time they had together.

As she drove, she could feel Momiji's eyes on her. He was memorizing every feature, every move, looking for similarities between her and his mother. They were silent, but whenever she looked at him, his eyes were smiling as well as his lips. She never thought that she would see such a happy smile on his face since Tohru left.

-"Momiji" –he snapped to attention at hearing his grandmother call him by his name. She had called him Mr. Souma mostly, and only this morning she called him Momiji-kun. He smiled at the memory.

-"Huh?" –came the informal reply. Brigitta smiled even more. Apparently he finally felt at ease with her.

-"What do you want for breakfast?" –She waited for a moment before he heard his answer.

-"Whatever you make will be fine with me. What were you planning to cook?" –She could tell that he was really interested in whatever she said, even if it was something as trivial as this.

-"I didn't have anything planned. Are you sure that you don't want something special?" Momiji just nodded. "Momiji, you better let me spoil you. I want to make it up to you for all the missing time. So, tell me. What do you want?"

-"I'm not really familiar with the food here. Whatever you think will be good is fine with me. I'm sure it'll be great!" –He sounded so sincere that she knew that he was telling her the truth.

They rode in silence for a couple more minutes before Momiji asked seriously:

-"Momo… does she know? Doesn't she suspect anything?" –he needed to know, even if it scared him to find out. Brigitta knew exactly what he was talking about.

-"No. At least she hasn't said anything to me about it." –she answered honestly.

-"That's something I could never understand…" –he trailed off as he turned around to look out the window.

-"What are you talking about?" –Brigitta was really interested.

-"How come they never noticed how much we look alike? It's pretty obvious! Everybody here noticed that at the funeral. Why is it that Mutti never realized it? Momo-chan is just like her. She can't see that I'm her brother." –he spoke slowly, trying to find the words as he spoke. He was still looking out the window. His voice had taken that pained tone again.

-"I don't know, Momiji. I've been thinking about that myself." –She admitted. "It doesn't matter anymore. You just have to tell Momo the truth and you can finally have her back!" –She smiled to him, even though the thought of them leaving made her sad. 'If only they could stay here!'

-"Momiji, have you thought about staying here in Germany? Momo and you could live at your parents' house for a while. It wouldn't have to be permanent." –She said it casually, but Momiji knew that she was really hopeful.

-"I can't. My whole life is in Japan: my work, my friends, my family… My home is there." –he explained calmly.

-"Your family is here. You have a home here too. You have Momo and me, and the rest of your family: your aunts, uncles and cousins. Don't you want to meet them?" –She wanted to give him a reason to stay.

-"I'm curious about them, but they don't know about me. What could I tell them? I'm a stranger to them, and they are all strangers to me." –his voice remained calm as he stated aloud what he had already thought about many times before.

-"They'll love you if only you give them a chance." –she defended.

-"What if they don't give _me_ a chance? What if they think the same way my mother thought about me?" –he whispered mostly to himself.

-"You'll never know unless you give them and yourself a chance. They are coming over on Christmas Eve. Maybe by then you've already told Momo the truth and it will be much easier to let the rest of the family know. What do you think? Want to try? Who knows? Maybe you'll get lucky." –She smiled reassuringly.

-"…like a rabbit, right?" –Momiji smiled again. He really wanted to believe that.

Brigitta stopped the car inside the garage when they got to the house. Momiji pulled out his luggage from the car while his grandmother opened the house. As soon as they entered, Brigitta showed him to his temporary room, which was really the second guest room in the house.

-"Now that I think about it, maybe your father secretly hoped for you to come visit someday." –Brigitta said standing in the doorway while Momiji walked to the middle of the room and looked around.

-"Why do you think so?" –He asked, surprised.

-"Just look at this room, Momiji! It looks too masculine to me. That's why I decided to stay in the other one."

Momiji looked around at every little detail, thinking about his grandmother's words. It was true. There wasn't something specific that you could point out to, but rather the whole environment felt like it was specially made for someone. Momiji stood there, in the middle of the room for a whole minute, holding the strap of the duffel bag hanging from his shoulder with one hand and still carrying his suitcase on the other like it weighed nothing.

-"Maybe you're right." –He said simply with a little smile. He dropped the duffel bag and the suitcase on the bed.

-"I'm going to the kitchen to make breakfast now." –she said. "Why don't you get settled and then go and wake Momo up. She's kind of a heavy sleeper, so I'm not surprised that she's not up yet even after all the noise we've been making."

Momiji laughed lightly at the comment and nodded. Brigitta left him alone in the room. Momiji sat on the bed as he looked at everything once more. The furniture looked familiar. He realized that it was very similar to what he had in his own house years ago. He had replaced all of it years ago.

-"If only you'd have listened to me back then, you would've remembered how many times I told you how I hated that furniture. But it's okay, Papa. Thanks anyway." –He said aloud with a wistful smile.

Momiji decided to unpack later. He went to find Momo instead. He looked in what he guessed was her room (the name plaque on the door was a great giveaway), but she wasn't there. He walked a little more down the corridor and he finally found her, sleeping in what he guessed was her parents' room. He looked at her from the doorway and he immediately noticed the tears still drying on her cheeks. He felt his resolve to take her back with him falter when he thought about how much she was going to miss this house so full of memories of her family.

-"How am I supposed to tell you the truth about me? Isn't it better that you never find out? What will you think of Papa and Mutti if you ever know?" –Momiji whispered the words quietly, not wanting to wake the girl up.

He didn't notice his grandmother a few steps behind him. 'What are you planning to do, Momiji? Haven't you been alone long enough?'

Momo and Brigitta decided to go Christmas shopping after breakfast. Momo was still laughing and thanking Grandma over and over again for bringing Momiji home. Momiji loved to see them talking and planning, and even dared to make a couple of comments. For someone as talkative as he, it was unusual to see him just smiling silently at the scene before his eyes. He felt really happy at the moment, and he wanted to enjoy every second he spent with his family.

After a while, Momo turned to him and asked:

-"What do you want for Christmas, onii-chan?" Momiji thought for a moment, and answered happily.

-"Whatever you get for me is fine. What do _you_ want?" –he asked in reply.

-"Hmmm…" –she though for a while. "I want a rabbit." –she finally said.

-"Huh?" –asked Momiji. "A rabbit? What for?"

-"No reason. I just like them."

-"You already have me! Am I not enough?" –he asked in a playful voice.

-"What are you talking about, onii-chan?" –Momo was laughing again.

-"Didn't I tell you before? I am a rabbit sometimes!" –he decided to have fun and laugh at the curse for once.

-"Really? Then that's why I like you! But… can I have another one?" –she asked in the same playful tone of voice.

-"You want two rabbits? Okay, you'll have another rabbit then. A stuffed one?"

-"No! I want something to go with this." –she pulled a silver chain from under her turtleneck sweater and showed them the rabbit pendant that he gave her the day she left.

Momiji was speechless. He had forgotten about it. He felt happy to see that she had kept it all those years.

-"You still have it…" –Momo looked up to him when she heard the surprise in his voice.

-"You have no idea. She grabs that pendant whenever she's scared or nervous. I've seen her do it many times. It seems to have healing powers." –Brigitta told him.

-"Does it help, Momo? Is it true?" –he asked expectantly.

Momo nodded.

-"You've always been with me, onii-chan." –she confessed shyly. Momiji had to fight back the tears of joy.

-"What about a brother, Momo? Wouldn't you want one for Christmas? –Brigitta interrupted their two-way dialogue. Momiji gave Grandma a pleading look with his scared eyes. 'Please, not yet.'

-"But I already have Momiji! He's my onii-chan!" –She hugged him to emphasize her point.

-"I mean a _real_ older brother, Momo" –Brigitta pushed on, oblivious to the terrified expression on Momiji's face. Her voice was also playful, so Momo thought nothing of it.

-"Grandma, Momiji is my brother because I chose him. To me, he's as real an older brother as can be." –She hugged him tighter. His eyes softened as he returned the embrace. He looked to their grandmother with an unreadable emotion in his eyes.

-"Momo, I need to tell you something." –he whispered softly. Grandma froze. It was time.


	18. Crystal angels

Momiji decided to talk to Momo that night at dinner, and thus they agreed to go "on a date." Momo knew that it had to be something important, or else he wouldn't be so serious about it. They made reservations at a fancy restaurant, and Momo was told by her grandmother to dress up for the occasion. She could hardly wait for the night to come.

Seeing that they already had the Christmas tree, they decided to spend the day decorating the house. The both of them would go shopping the next day. Momiji was mostly curious about how his family celebrated the holidays, but Momo was outright ecstatic. It was good to see her smile and have fun, when she had been so broken just a few days ago. Brigitta decided to leave them to themselves while she went out. She wanted to surprise them with their gifts, so she made up a story about having to visit an old friend.

-"Are you sure that you'll be alright, kids?" –Momo made a funny face to show Momiji how much she disliked being called a kid. She was very careful to not be seen by Grandma, so the old lady didn't know why Momiji was laughing when he waved goodbye to her and told her not to worry. Momiji kept on smiling after the door closed.

-"I could definitely get used to this." –he said in Japanese.

-"What?" –Momo asked in German.

-"Living together in the same house with you both." Momiji continued in Japanese. He could speak German rather well, but he felt more comfortable speaking in his native language. He could explain his thoughts and feelings better. This time, it was Momo the one who had to take a moment to catch up on what he'd just said. She realized how hard it must've been for Momiji when he first got to Germany to understand them.

-"Onii-chan, I never asked this before, but… how come you can speak German so well? Did you learn it at school?" –Momo didn't switch languages either.

-"No. My father taught me so that I could talk to my mother. She was German."

-"Really? Great! I didn't know that! Silly me, I should've known. I never thought about it before. I knew that you were half foreigner, but I… Well, you do look German." –she apologized with a shy smile.

Momiji just smiled back. 'I can't believe that she just realized it.'

-"Wait! Doesn't that mean that you have a family here too? Aren't you going to visit them?"

-"I barely know a thing about my relatives here, and they don't know about me at all, so I guess there's no point in me visiting them. That would be awkward. What could we talk about?" –Momiji decided to play along with her. He was going to tell her the truth that night anyway.

-"Many things! They're your family, after all. How come they don't know about you?" –Momo was really interested now.

-"My mother never told them that she had a son." –he explained simply.

-"Why?" –she narrowed her eyes in disbelief.

-"She didn't like me much. I guess she didn't like to talk about me either, so she chose not to let them know about me." –his voice was calm and even.

-"She didn't like you? Don't you be silly now, that's impossible! She was your mom! I'm sure she loved you! No mother could ever dislike her own child! That kind of woman would be a monster!" –Momo was sure that he was kidding now. That was obviously a lie!

Momiji remained silent. Momo noticed that he looked sad for a moment, but then he snapped out of whatever he had been thinking of and smiled at her.

-"You think so?" –he decided to fake a big smile so that she thought that he was just kidding.

-"Of course I do! And I think that you should see your relatives too, at least so that you get to see the family you come from. I'm sure they'll love you!" A plan began forming in her head. "I know! Why don't we look them up and then I can take you to wherever they're at!" She was already thinking of ways to locate Momiji's lost family when he interrupted her.

-"I don't think that's a good idea, Momo." –he was cornered now, but he wasn't worried about it. He was sure that he could outsmart his little sister. He loved it when she acted all hyper and mischievous, so he grinned at her antics.

-"Momiji, your parents are dead like mine, and I know how important your family is when you're alone." –she lectured him. He turned around to look at her. Momiji was relieved to see that it was easier for her to talk about the deaths of her parents now.

-"You're not alone and neither am I. I'm a Souma, remember? They've taken care of me since I was four. They're my family." Seeing her stubborn chin raised up in defiance, he sighed loudly and said in mock resignation: "We can look them up tomorrow, okay? I want to decorate this tree now." She nodded. She had won, or so she thought.

Momo remained silent while she sorted out the stuff in the box they've just opened. Momiji thought that many of those things must have had been in the family for years. He stood up to cut the rope that kept the tree tied up, and started to get it ready for decorating. He was enjoying every little thing about this Christmas celebration like when he was a child.

He didn't celebrate Christmas since back in the days when he still lived with his parents. His mother was scared all the time so that she tried to defend herself from him by mistreating or simply ignoring her son. The lack of acknowledgement from his mother always hurt Momiji the most. At least when she yelled at him he knew that she saw him, that she noticed him following her around, begging silently that she loved him. His father tried to make it up to his little boy by decorating the house and the Christmas tree with Momiji's help. That would keep him busy for a few days so that he could forget about his mother for a while. He wanted his child to feel connected to his German ancestry, so he planned every detail carefully. They bought everything together, and they would even cook something special for Christmas day. Even though he was still a toddler, Momiji felt that something was missing among the candy, the music, the food and the gifts. He wished that his mother would play with him and his new toys, but the only one to ever do that was his father. It was always Momiji and his Papa together all the time until they day he was left at the Main House. Almost twenty years later, the young man the toddler had become still remembered the forced smile on his mother's face. She would pretend to be interested in Momiji after his father dragged her out of her room for dinner on Christmas day. His father never noticed it, but Momiji always knew.

How he hated that fake smile!

Momo's sad voice interrupted his thoughts.

-"Momiji, do you miss them? Your parents, I mean." He turned around to look at her, but she was still kneeling on the carpeted floor pretending to be interested in the contents of the box. He heard her sob once, so he decided to give her a little privacy. He turned around to the tree again.

-"Sometimes. Mostly when something brings back any of the memories that I have of them." –he confessed calmly.

-"I miss them! I miss them so much! I want them here with me! We used to do this together… It isn't the same without them… Papa would be bringing down boxes from the attic now and Mama and I…" -she broke down, crying.

Momiji walked over and kneeled in front of her on the floor. Lifting gently her chin with his fingers, he could finally see her face. She looked back at him, tears running down her cheeks. It broke Momiji's heart to see that her eyes held all the sadness of the world. He didn't fight the urge to hold her this time. He surprised Momo when he pulled her into his arms to hug her. It was the first time he initiated the contact. Holding the back of her head with one hand, he started to caress her golden locks in a soothing motion. Momo continued to cry on his shoulder for a few minutes until her breathing evened out and she relaxed in his arms.

Momiji never felt so happy about the curse being broken as he was at that moment. Momo hugged him tighter, enjoying the comfort he provided.

-"Everything will be alright. You'll see. With time, all the memories you have won't make you sad anymore. One day you'll be able to look back to the times you spent together and smile. You should be happy that you got to be with them and that they loved you so much." –Momiji tried his best to comfort her, to find the right words to tell her.

-"I know that! But… why did they leave me? How could they do this to me?" –She spoke from the same spot on his shoulder, so her voice was muffled and broken. "Do you know how I feel now, Momiji? Have you ever felt this way too?"

-"I have Momo, many times."

By the time their grandmother got back home, the two of them were laughing and playing again. It was hard to believe that Momiji was more than couple of years older than Momo. Those navy pants and grey sweater he was wearing looked so out of place, though! True, he had rolled up his sleeves now, but still… Fortunately, she would be taking care of that soon. She sat in the living room to watch both _children _playing together.

-"Onii-chan, come! I think that we're missing another box! I can't find them anywhere!"

-"What are you talking about, Momo?" Brigitta turned instantly to look at him. Momo was practically dragging him away by the hand now saying something about a surprise. What made her turn around was the fact that she heard Momiji speak Japanese again. She didn't really pay attention to that before, when he translated for Tohru, but now… She heard her grandchildren still arguing up the stairs to the attic. Momo scolded him playfully in German while Momiji replied happily in Japanese. It was a painful reminder that they had grown up apart, that he had been living all his life in a country far away to where he was going back soon.

'And he's taking Momo with him.'

Some minutes later, Momiji entered the living room again, carrying what looked like a heavy box. He dropped it a little carelessly on the floor, at which Momo shrieked loudly.

-"How can you do that! What if you break them?" Momiji had to dodge Momo's fist. It was easy for him, seeing that Momo lacked the intention to really hurt him.

-"I'm sorry, okay?" –he laughed at her.

Momo knelt down again and started to remove the many layers of tape that prevented the box from getting any dust inside. Brigitta sat closer to them. She had a good idea of what Momo was looking for. After Momo pulled out some little boxes and bags from inside, she finally jumped off the floor holding an old box in her hands. Momiji wondered what the commotion was all about. Brigitta recognized the box and smiled.

-"Okay, Momiji. These are really special. They're everybody's favorites, so we're doing it like this. I'm going to give you four for you to put wherever you want. I'll put on another four and Grandma gets the other four. Fair enough?" –Momo explained carefully.

-"That's fine, but I still don't know what you're talking about." Momiji shrugged. Momo grinned.

-"I'm talking about these." –and she took a little crystal angel out of the box and put it in Momiji's hand. He recognized it immediately. The figure was transparent, delicate. It still sparkled in the light like he remembered. He couldn't believe that they still had them all after all those years. He touched its smooth, cool surface with his finger like he'd done so many years before.

'My crystal angels.'


	19. The lonely bunny on the moon

Momo and Momiji left the house at six p.m. The streets were crowded with Christmas shoppers, even more because that night it wasn't snowing for a change and the temperature was rather nice outdoors.

Momo was really excited. She put on her best dress for this date. Momiji thought she looked beautiful and told her so when he saw her all dressed up and ready to go. She was as beautiful as their mother. They weren't identical, of course, but with Momo dressed like that the resemblance was such that it was still a little unsettling. However, he felt more at ease now, unlike the first time he saw her.

At Brigitta's suggestion, they made reservations at a fancy restaurant. It was to be expected, really. Grandma was that kind of woman. When they arrived, an elegantly dressed hostess greeted them and checked their names on the list. She was a pretty redheaded girl of about Momiji's age. Momo saw her ogling at him since the first moment. It didn't help at all that he was in yet another black suit (just how many had he packed up for the trip?), and that this one in particular was far more elegant than anything he had worn yet. It made him look older, and for the first time, Momo saw him as a twenty-two year old man and not a teenager close to her age. It didn't make it easier either that he was so handsome and had this natural aristocratic demeanor. His every move screamed class and confidence. It must've been a Souma trait; Momo remembered that her father had been just like that. It was only natural that all the women in the restaurant turned their heads to see him. Momiji either didn't notice or chose not to acknowledge any of them. He kept on smiling and looking only at Momo, and that made her feel great. She was dining with the most handsome man in the place! It was like a dream.

Unfortunately for her, she didn't notice the men that turned their heads to ogle at _her_, or the possessive way in which Momiji held her arm right then. That would've boosted her confidence.

-"I hope that you and your sister enjoy your dinner, Mr. Souma." –The hostess said to Momiji with a flirtatious smile. In fact, she had been flirting with him ever since he walked into the restaurant.

Momo didn't like it a bit. 'Who does she think she is, flirting so shamelessly with onii-chan?' She was so busy glaring daggers at the retreating woman that she didn't notice that they never said that they were brother and sister. The girl had known just by looking at them.

Momiji saw the jealousy in her eyes and smiled wider. He truly enjoyed watching her.

He decided to start talking now while the waiter arrived to take their orders. He had been both expecting and dreading this moment for a long time. This was it. He was going to gamble everything he had. Breathing deeply a couple of times, he finally spoke:

-"Momo, I need to tell you something, but first, I need you to answer me a question. Be honest, please." –Momo had been distracted once again, this time placating the jealous stares of the women in the restaurant with glares of her own. When she heard Momiji's serious voice, she turned to him immediately. She thought that he looked nervous. He wasn't even smiling.

Momo nodded.

-"Let's say that somebody gave you a choice: you could get to have someone to care for you and protect you unconditionally. Someone who would always be by your side, no matter what. The only thing is that for you to get that someone, you got to know things about someone else you love that might make you loose the good image that you have of that person. Would you take the risk?"

-"I don't know. I can always meet new people, but good memories are things that I could never bear to loose. If that person really loved me, he would let me keep what I treasure the most."

-"Even if that meant loosing him?" Momo nodded.

-"Even so. If that person really cared about me, he would've been with me since the beginning, don't you think? If he wasn't there before, then he has to accept me as I am now, not go and try to change me." –Momo smiled wider now. She didn't take time to ponder the question. She just answered the first thing that she thought. It was a rhetorical question, the kind where there's no right or wrong, wasn't it?

-"Sou ka." –he tried hard not to show his disappointment. She was right, and he knew it. It would be selfish of him to shatter the image that she had of her parents just so that he could have her. He decided that he couldn't tell her who he really was now, and most likely never, but he was not giving up. He still needed to take her back with him to Japan if not as her brother, then as her guardian. He slipped on his businessman mask in an effort to hide how heartbroken he felt at that moment.

-"Have you thought about my offer?" –he asked casually. Momo noticed that he had switched back to Japanese. There was something in his eyes that she couldn't identify at that moment either, but it was quickly replaced by a distant look that contrasted with the smile on his lips. She didn't like that look, so she avoided it by pretending to read the menu.

-"I have, but I'm not ready to make a decision yet. I have so many things to think about!" She was unable to face Momiji at that moment. She knew what she had to do, but if she saw him now, she might change her mind. It was the right thing to do, and she knew it, but still…

-"I'm sorry to talk to you about this so soon, but as you know, I'll be leaving after the holidays. You'll have to give me an answer by then. I have to let you know some things before you make a decision. As you know, you are heir to your father's fortune. You need to think about what how you're going to administrate that. I will continue doing it for you until you're of age, but you need to decide whether you want to do it yourself when you're older or you'd rather keep on having someone else to do it for you. If you choose to take care of it yourself, then you have to start planning your career."

Momo didn't like this Momiji in front of her now. He talked clearly and purposely in Japanese, and she was having some trouble to understand what he was saying. His voice was even and emotionless as he told her that. Momo heard it all without taking her eyes off the menu.

-"Gee Momiji! You make it sound so exciting, like I'm filthy rich now." –she wanted to have _her_ Momiji back, so she tried to lure him out with her sarcastic comment. She looked up directly into his eyes.

-"As a matter of fact, you are. That's why you'll need me until you can take care of everything on your own." He knew what she was trying to do, but he just couldn't make himself play along with Momo at that moment. He was tired that everybody always took him lightly. He knew that it was because they always saw him smiling that they assumed that he couldn't take things seriously. He decided to let her see a side of him that only Ritsu knew.

-"I am serious about this, and I expect you to answer accordingly. You are not a child anymore, Momo-_san_. You need to grow up."

Momo was shocked speechless. She couldn't believe that he had just reprimanded her. His voice was so stern and cold that she couldn't recognize it. He didn't even need to raise his voice to make her flinch. The smile disappeared from her lips, and she lowered her eyes back to the menu without really looking.

-"I'm sorry, Momiji-kun." –she muttered humbly. "You're right. I'm not a child anymore. With everything that's happened I guess I have to become an adult now. I just didn't want to do that yet!"

-"I know." Momo looked back up. His voice was so understanding now! They way he'd said it was more like an apology. Momiji interpreted her wondering look and answered softly.

-"I had to grow up too fast too. I know how you feel. It's not like you have a choice now, but you know that you can count on me. I will always be there for you. That's why I want you to go back to Japan with me." His voice softened a little, and his eyes were kind again. Momo felt more at ease talking to him now.

-"I know… but my home is here now. I… What about Grandma? She needs me…" –He just couldn't keep on acting coldly towards her. He couldn't bear it to see her on the verge of tears once more, and he felt his chances of taking her back with him slipping through his hands. Something about the way she said those words made him realize that she had already made a choice, and that he was loosing her. He was running out of options and courage.

'I need you too. I need you more than anyone else.'

Momiji seized her hands nervously. It didn't matter anymore. He would beg if that was what he had to do.

-"I won't take you away against your will. I would never do that to you. But please, think about it. We could be together all the time! I promise to do my best so that you'll be happy." –His voice was quiet and calm, but Momo noticed the subtle desperation behind his pleading eyes and slightly trembling hands.

-"Why..?" –Momo didn't understand what was happening. This was not the Momiji she knew either. This was more like a lost child. She had seen many faces of the same Momiji that night, and she had the feeling that they were all masks. She wanted to see the real him for once!

Momiji recognized the fear in her voice. He didn't want to scare her. He had to be strong for the both of them. He was the older brother. He was supposed to support her and catch her whenever she fell. He was supposed to comfort her.

If only he wasn't so desperately needing just that at that moment.

The place suddenly became too loud and crowded. He had to get out or else he was going to crumble to pieces in front of his sister.

-"Please Momo. Can we go?" –His voice was barely above a whisper. Momo didn't need to be told twice. She was about to ask him the same thing. They left the place in silence.

Momo didn't know what to do. She didn't know this side of him. What was happening to onii-chan?

-"Do you want to go for a walk?" She offered hesitantly. Momiji just nodded.

He felt really stupid for acting like that. 'What is wrong with me?' The only thing that stopped him from hugging her, breaking down and tell her the truth was that he didn't want to scare her even more. He knew that she was worried about him. 'Why did she have to see me like that?'

Momo tried to help in the only way she knew how. She took his hand and squeezed it as she guided him to a nearby park. She didn't dare to hug him. She had the feeling that she shouldn't. He relaxed a little at the contact as he tried to calm himself with deep breaths. He squeezed her hand back.

She looked up at the bright full moon above them as they walked under the moonlight in the middle of the park some time later.

-"Do you like the rabbit on the moon?" –he asked quietly. Momo didn't seem to notice the sadness in his voice. She was enjoying the sight of the night sky.

-"Yup! It's so bright and beautiful! I like to think that it watches over me." –she answered without looking back down.

-"You do? How so?" –he was truly interested now.

-"Papa told me so when I was a little girl. He said that a rabbit is always watching over me, that it loves me but that it can't get close to me though it really, really wants to."

-"…so he has to see you and protect you from afar…" He looked up to the moon too. He didn't know that his father had told her about him, even if indirectly. He smiled wistfully. Apparently he knew him well after all. 'Guess he noticed me following her around.'

-"Mhm. I believe that Papa was talking about the rabbit on the moon. Since then, whenever I look at the moon I think of that little bunny up there: so bright and yet so sad because it's always alone. I've thought that it would like to have some company sometimes. Why do you think that it was put on the moon by itself?"

-"Maybe he was cast out." –he answered softly.

-"What for? That's unfair! What could an innocent rabbit have done to deserve that?" –she was clearly indignant at that moment.

-"It's not always about what you do or deserve, Momo. Sometimes people do things believing that it's the only way to protect the ones they love. They get rid of the things that can hurt them, even if it means sacrificing someone else. So, maybe he's there so he can't hurt anyone…"

-"But onii-chan…"

-"…or maybe he stays away to watch over the people he loves. To watch over you."

-"It agreed to it? Why? Wouldn't that make it sad?"

-"Nobody cares about the feelings of a rabbit that's so far up, away on the moon. Everybody likes him, but nobody gives him a second thought. He's on the moon after all, so people just assume that he's happy."

-"But that's a lie! Why don't people realize that?"

-"Because he's always shining, Momo. He's scared that people won't like him if they ever looked upon the dark side of the moon. That face that nobody has ever seen. So that's why he has to keep on shining forever. Maybe on that other side of the moon you could find the answer to your question."

-"Hn?" Momo looked down to see Momiji looking up to the moon. The light bathed his face, making his eyes shine and his features to look angelic. Momo could've sworn his eyes shone like that because they were filled with unshed tears if she didn't know better. This was Momiji they were talking about! He never cried!

-"What could an innocent bunny have done to deserve that?" He spoke softly, in that same tired and sad voice that Momo realized for the first time was just like her father's.

A thought crossed her mind right then. It was more like a feeling, really. She recalled scattered comments, unguarded looks caught by accident and little gestures. Just a moment ago, when he reprimanded her she couldn't feel angry at him. She just accepted what he said and submitted. She couldn't explain it to herself. He'd talked to her like a real older brother would. She had just comforted him like a real younger sister would.

It couldn't be. It was ridiculous. But still...


	20. Our parents

Momiji sat on the floor of the living room that night. He couldn't sleep, so he decided to go there and look at the Christmas tree like he used to do when he was little. The pine scent filled the house. He was playing absently with one of the fallen needles that he picked from the carpet. Childhood memories associated with that smell came back to mind. The tiny lights and ornaments gave him a childish sense of peacefulness. He went back in time to the nights when his father held him and told him stories until he fell asleep. Sitting there in silence with only the lights on the Christmas tree to illuminate the room, he was half expecting to have his Papa come sit down by his side and talk to him one last time.

His eyes took in every little detail on the tree. The crystal angels hung on the branches, like they did so many years before. The electric lights intertwined with them made the figures sparkle. They were as beautiful as he remembered. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and his grandmother's perfume mingled with the air around him.

-"What are you looking at?" –she asked playfully.

He reached out to take one of the angels in his hand and showed it to her.

-"I love those too. I've always wanted a set of my own, but I've never seen anything like them anywhere else." Brigitta knew that there was something wrong. He was never so quiet. He looked sad.

-"I know. I told Papa to buy another set, but he said that one was more than enough." –she could barely make out the words, his voice was so quiet. It was as if he was afraid.

-"You bought them?"

Momiji nodded. "I picked these angels myself. Papa bought them for me. They were my favorite. I used to look at them all the time, because I liked to see them sparkle like they're doing now."

Brigitta took the little angel from his hand and he sat back down on the carpet. He hugged his knees and held them to his chest. He wasn't cold, it was just…

-"I can't believe that he kept them. I never thought about them again until Momo showed them to me. I guess they became hers, like everything else I've ever had." –he said the last part in Japanese, so quietly that his Grandmother could only recognize the bitterness behind the words.

-"What was that last thing you said?" Brigitta knew that he needed to talk. Call it grandma's sixth sense, but she knew, somehow. She took another angel from the tree and sat on the carpet next to him.

-"Nothing." He looked back to the side, averting her eyes.

-"Please tell me, Momiji. I want to know." She wanted him to open up to her, so she waited in silence for a sign from Momiji. Finally, after a few minutes, he answered.

-"I said that the angels became hers, like everything else I've ever had." –he whispered in German now.

Brigitta was shocked. She never thought that he would say that.

-"Do you resent her for that?" –she asked soothingly. She didn't want him to close up again.

-"I don't know. I shouldn't, but I just don't know." –he confessed guiltily.

-"Don't you love her?" –she asked cautiously once more. Momiji nodded.

-"I do. I've loved her since the day I knew that she was going to be born. But…" –he didn't finish.

-"But what?"

-"I had to sneak around and follow Mutti everywhere just to see her, hoping that she'd like me someday when everything Momo had to do was to be born to have everything she never gave me! I never knew what it felt like to be kissed by my mother… I knew she didn't love me, but she could've tried to like me at least!"

-"Did she treat you bad?" –she was afraid of the answer, but she had to know.

-"Not much. She mostly ignored me, but that hurt more."

-"Didn't your father say anything about that?" –She didn't want to believe what she was hearing. The woman Momiji was talking about was so different from the daughter she knew, from Momo's mother!

-"I don't think he knew. Or maybe he did, but he loved her more, so he did nothing."

-"Why do you say that?"

-"He chose her." –he said bitterly. After a few seconds, he spoke again.

-"That day, they put all my things in the car. They made sure that they didn't forget anything. I had to disappear, and that meant that I couldn't leave any traces behind. I sat on the backseat all the way to Hatori's house. I didn't want to go. I knew that I'd never go back home. I was scared. Earlier that day, I had begged Mutti to let me stay. I promised to be a good boy. She never answered. I remember seeing her long hair from behind in the car. It shone like gold. It was so beautiful that I touched it without her knowing. Just before she got her memories erased, Hatori asked her if she was sure of what she was about to do. And then I heard her answer, and I knew that she would never love me. It's a funny thing that I can remember everything about that day perfectly, even though I was only four at the time."

His voice was calm, yet so detached. It was like he was talking about someone else.

-"What did she say?"

-"Please, don't make me say it. That's something I can never repeat to anyone. It's a secret between Hatori and me. Actually, I don't think that Hatori knows that I heard her."

-"Do you hate your mother?"

-"No. No matter what she did or said, I could never hate her. When I was little, I liked to dream that Mutti would one day remember me and come to take me home. That's all I've ever wanted." –the sincerity in his voice startled Brigitta. How could he still want to be with a mother who made him suffer so much?

-"What about your father?"

-"My father did what he thought was best. Someone was going to get hurt either way. He just chose to protect the person he loved the most. And now, the only one left from my family is Momo. I want us to live together. I want to take her back to my home, to become a family. I could never hate her."

-"Do you feel lonely at your home?"

-"No. I have Tohru and my cousins. They like me as I am, and they know me better than anyone, but there are things that I can't tell them like I'm telling you now. I know that I can go to any of them, but I don't dare to do it. Before tonight, I had never talked to anyone about that day. It never felt right. I can't explain it."

-"You don't have to. I understand." –she smiled sweetly at him. "You better go to bed now, my child. You have to go shopping with your sister tomorrow."

-"Can I stay here a little more?" –he asked shyly.

Brigitta didn't say anything. Instead, she had Momiji rest his head on her outstretched legs as he laid down on the carpet. She caressed his hair lovingly. It was the same shade of gold as his mother's.

-"Did you tell her the truth?" –Brigitta had the feeling that it was the cause of his current mood.

He opened his eyes to look up at her.

-"I couldn't. I could never tell her something that could shatter the idea she has of her parents."

-"You have to tell her. She has to know." –she explained softly.

-"I will, someday. Just not now." –his voice was getting sleepier every second.

-"They were your parents too." –she reminded him.

-"They never loved us the same."

-"I love you both just as much."

He snuggled closer to her and closed his eyes, enjoying the moment.

-"I know."

Momo watched them from the threshold. She was just on her way to get a very late snack when she saw them there: her grandmother and Momiji. She heard her saying that she loved them both the same. That same feeling came back again. The feeling that this was just the way it should be. Suspicion grew in her. Maybe what she thought wasn't so crazy after all. She shook the thought away.

'It can't be. They would've told me something. He can't be…'


	21. His eyes

Momiji woke up after a restless night and sat up quietly on his bed on the morning before Christmas. It was a habit that he acquired during the days he had spent in that house. In the silence of early morning, all by himself in his room, he tried to think clearly about the mess he was in. He knew that he was running out of time, but he was still confused. He knew what he wanted to do, what the voice of reason advised, but he couldn't muster enough courage to do it. What _had to be done _kept colliding with what he _thought he had to do_.

He was tired: tired of this situation, of feeling insecure, of endlessly waiting, of wanting, of being rejected, of being alone. Most of all, he was tired of the happy mask that he had forced himself to wear for so long. He wanted everything to stop. He put his head between his hands as he slouched.

-"I can't do this anymore! I can't keep it up!" –his voice betrayed the desperation he felt, the hopelessness.

That was the reason why he needed this time alone so much. He could be himself, with no masks, without having to be careful of hurting others.

-'Why am I feeling this way now? I used to think that it was all behind me…' –secretly, he admitted to himself that the reason for his current fear and confusion was Momo. Seeing her again and having a chance to finally be her brother made old insecurities and hurt feelings resurface. He felt like his heart was being squeezed by an invisible fist. He couldn't blame her for the current situation, but he couldn't help it but to think that she owed him somehow. It was irrational and he knew it, wanting Momo to make it up to him for all that he had lost, all that he had been cruelly denied and all that she had unknowingly received in his stead.

-"I don't want to be selfish. I just want you with me. Why can't you see that?" –he whispered. "Please… Just this once, please…" he begged. He didn't know to whom, and yet he hoped that his plea could reach whoever had the power to grant it.

And yet, he had his tickets for the flight back on the bureau by his bedside. He bought them the day before without letting Momo or his grandmother know about it. He had to leave. He just had to. But he knew that boarding that plane wouldn't solve anything. He knew that this new separation would tear his heart apart. Unlike six years ago, this time he was making the decision to let go of Momo, and it was killing him inside. He didn't know how he was going to be able to keep himself from crumbling to pieces in front of her for four whole days before he left.

He realized that deep down he wanted to be stopped. He wanted to be given a reason to stay: a reason to forget about everything else and do what he really wanted for once.

Going back to Japan now would throw him into more uncomfortable situations. He had his family, his house and his work there; but he also had Tohru waiting for him. The idea of seeing her again filled him with both hope and fear. He looked up to the moment when he could tell her what had happened here, but he dreaded the moment when he had to see her with _him._ The fact that he had always known where her heart was didn't make it easier for Momiji. He knew that he was going to be stabbed in the heart at the sight of them together. Even if he understood the situation and felt happy for her as a friend, as a man he refused to accept the fact that he never had a chance to have her. He had loved Tohru so much for so long that he doubted that he would ever be able to love anybody else. However, he just wanted to have her near, to feel her comforting presence around. It had to be better than loosing her altogether.

-"I just need to live through this day. I have to make it through another day at least. Please, just give me the strength to do what I have to do. Help me!"

Momo woke up early that morning. Contrary to popular belief, she really was a morning person; she was just a heavy sleeper. She knew what her grandmother had planned for that day, and even if she didn't feel like visiting, the idea of going out and see her family made her smile with anticipation. She wondered what they would think of Momiji. Would they like him?

She had to see if he was up yet. She silently crept up to his room. She had the feeling that she shouldn't just barge in.

His door was slightly ajar. She felt like an intruder, looking into his room unnoticed, but she couldn't help it. She had the strong feeling that she shouldn't let him see her.

He was sitting on his bed, arms by his sides and his face looking up into nothingness. She tried to remember where she had seen that same look before. His eyes made her heart hurt, filling her with memories that she couldn't clearly identify. They were filled with raw emotions that she couldn't tell apart well. She had never seen Momiji look so desperate, so lost...

And then, she saw his tears sliding down his cheeks. He was saying something that she didn't understand, but by the tone of his voice she knew that he was begging for something. She remembered a similar episode a few days before she had left Japan. At that time, she had no idea of what to do. She had felt so useless.

Momo couldn't stand it anymore. There had to be something that she could do to help, to ease his pain. She opened the door slowly and she waited on the threshold to be acknowledged. Momiji tensed immediately in front of her. Without looking down, he closed his eyes and wiped his tears away with his hand as he took several stabilizing breaths. Once he gained back some sort of control over his emotions, he finally lowered his eyes to look upon his sister.

Momo locked eyes with him. His face was calm, but his eyes kept showing his emotions openly. She knew that she had seen that look before, but where?

She took his silence as an invitation to approach him. She stood in front of him as close as she dared to be. He still didn't say anything. The silence was beginning to be too much for her, but she couldn't think of anything to say. She felt like he was trying to tell her something with his eyes, but she couldn't understand him. At that moment she would've given anything to be able to read his mind.

After some minutes, she couldn't hold his gaze anymore. She looked down to the side of his bed. She noticed the plane ticket on the bureau and she felt like she had been stabbed. Hesitantly, with silent steps, she walked to it and she took the envelope in her hand. She didn't want to think about it, so she just opened it and confirmed her fears. There was only one set of tickets in there for the 27th of December. She looked at him with questioning eyes.

-"You're not coming." It was an explanation, not an accusation, but she still felt miserable that he already knew. Even though Momiji had known for some days now, it still hurt so deeply that he had trouble breathing properly.

-"I…" -Momo couldn't find the words to tell him how she felt; why she had made that decision. She knew that it was the best for him, but looking into his eyes she saw so much sadness… she didn't want to hurt him.

-"Don't worry. I understand." –He gave her one of his famous smiles, the kind that never made it to his eyes. The one that she knew was only for her peace of mind, forced. She hadn't seen it since he moved into her house. At that moment she realized how much that smile must hurt him every time. Was he trying to hide his true feelings behind it?

Momo smiled back nervously. It was _that _smile. Momiji couldn't contain himself anymore. He snapped.

-"Stop it! Whatever it is you're thinking, just tell me, but don't give me that fake smile!" –he looked away, unable to face her any longer. He was speaking a little louder than usual, but she had trouble making out the meaning of his words, since he was speaking in Japanese again.

-"What are you talking about?" –she was really confused now. Not only because of his words, but because she noticed again that his voice was just like her father's at that moment. Thinking about her father, she finally remembered where she had seen that same look that Momiji had then.

When had she grown so used to it that she stopped noticing the sadness in her father's eyes?

Momiji's voice interrupted her thoughts.

-"That's the same smile _she_ gave me every time! I learned to accept it from her, but I can't bear to see it on you!" Momiji dropped his defenses completely, leaving his emotions exposed for Momo to read. He was looking directly into her eyes, and for a moment, Momo could see anger on his face.

-"Who are you talking about!" –Momo asked again.

-"I'm talking about my mother, your…" –he stopped suddenly, realizing what he was about to say. He looked down, averting his eyes. "Just forget about it. Please, Momo. Just leave me alone." –he whispered.

-"But…" –she wanted to know what he was going to say.

-"Please, Momo. Just leave me alone." –he repeated softly.

Momo didn't say another word. Walking out of his room, she closed the door behind her. Momiji broke down in tears. Momo leaned back on the door, listening to him.

-"Momiji, what are you hiding from me? What were you going to tell me?" –she asked softly to the door, knowing perfectly that he couldn't hear her.


	22. Heidi

Momiji walked alone through the crowded streets of the strange, frozen city. Momo and Grandma were at their relatives' at that moment. A change of plans, moving the annual gathering to an uncle's, they said. As much as both of them tried to persuade him to go with them, Momiji didn't feel like meeting more strangers. He needed some time alone.

He was falling apart, and he couldn't allow himself that. He had to be strong.

So, he left the house shortly after Momo and Grandma and started walking without a destination in mind. He observed the people he passed by, the streets, the decorations on the windows, the snow on the rooftops and trees. Of all of those, only the snow brought back a feeling of familiarity. He wondered how the streets at _his_ city looked at that time. As much as he liked Germany, he missed his home country. He was glad that he was going back soon.

And then, out of the blue and as some sort of miracle, a Japanese restaurant appeared before his eyes. He couldn't believe it! He was so happy that he wasted no time and went inside, eager to eat something he knew and liked after so many days. He was still having trouble getting used to German food, so the very thought of _onigri_ was almost too good to be true. The place was empty, except for Momiji and the owners. As soon as he met them he was in a good mood. They were Japanese too, and they liked him instantly, so they decided to join their new young friend at the table. The couple must have been in their mid fifties, if Momiji guessed correctly. Their kind faces and polite conversation made Momiji think that that was the way Hatori and Mayu would look some day. He wondered how the twins were doing. He was growing homesick by the second.

-"So, what brings you here, so far away from home?" –asked the old woman.

-"I don't know anymore, _obaa-san_. When I got here, I thought that I had everything figured out, but everything I had planned went wrong." –he explained sadly in between bites.

-"What happened?" –the old man asked.

-"My parents died two weeks ago. They had been living here for six years. When I heard the news, my first thought was to come and take my little sister back home with me. Now I know that I can't do that. She likes living here. Her friends and family are here. This is her home." –Momiji explained everything calmly, holding his chopsticks between his fingers the whole time, ready to take another bite.

-"You are her brother. Her home is by your side, no matter in what country that may be." –the old man said.

"Are you going to leave her behind?" –asked the woman at the same time.

-"She has decided to stay. There's nothing I can do." –he explained, resigned.

-"And how do you feel about it? What do you want?"

Momiji thought about it for a moment. 'How do I feel about it? I don't know for sure… I've been feeling many different things lately. As for what I want…'

-"I just want her to be happy, even if we're not together." –Momiji answered quietly and went back to his food, ending the topic with a smile.

He went back to the house after lunch. There was no point in wandering the streets, and besides, he felt better now. The conversation with the old couple made him remember everything that he had in Japan and where his home was. However, the words of the old man kept replaying themselves in his mind: 'Her home is by your side.'

'Does it work the other way around too? How can my home be with someone who doesn't want to be with me?'

Someone knocking at the door interrupted his thoughts. He doubted for a moment if he should see who it was, but decided to open anyway. A blonde girl of about Momo's age stood there, clad in a thick, heavy wool coat, along with a scarf. Because of said scarf, her pale blue eyes, which were the only features he could see clearly, were the first things he noticed. She was carrying a violin case in the gloved hand that was not in her pocket. A car, with who he guessed to be her parents inside, waited behind her. He smiled.

Heidi was shocked. She didn't recognize this boy in front of her, but she was sure that he had to be related to Momo. He looked too much like the late Mrs. Souma to be otherwise... Was he visiting? Apparently he was as curious about her as she was about him by the way he looked at her, then behind her at the car, and then back at her. He smiled.

Whatever wariness she might have felt just melted away with the warmth of that smile. She smiled back behind the scarf, but Momiji noticed it by the way her eyes shone. He said something that she didn't understand, but then he stopped and laughed.

-"I'm sorry about that. Can I help you?" –Heidi was still mesmerized by his smile. His eyes were kind, and yet sad. She kept on noticing similarities between Momo and the boy each second.

-"Hi! I'm Momo's friend, Heidi. Is she home?" –she asked casually. Inside, she really wanted to ask his name and if he had a girlfriend.

-"No, she isn't. Momo and Grandma are visiting an uncle today. Is there anything that I can do for you?" –he asked. Heidi noticed the foreign accent. Though faint, she remembered that Mr. Souma had it too. Her curiosity got the better of her. She had to know.

-"I didn't know that Momo had a brother still in Japan. When did you get here? Did you make it in time for the funeral?" –she asked. The boy tensed immediately in front of her eyes, and his smile faltered for a second. It seemed to her like he made a quick decision right then, by the way his face changed from one moment to the next. He smiled again.

Momiji was amazed at how clever this girl was. She had already noticed what Momo had not, and they had barely said two or three phrases to her! He knew that she couldn't be fooled, so he decided to tell her the truth. Maybe Momo told her about him before… Even if she talked with Momo about it later, he knew that his sister wouldn't give it a second thought, since she already considered him her brother.

-"I got here the day of the funeral, though I don't remember you being there. Then again, I may have missed you. I arrived at the very end. I was late. You know, the long trip all the way from Japan." –he kept on smiling, but the happiness was pasted on his face like a mask. Heidi kept waiting for the moment when it would make it to his eyes.

-"It's good to know that Momo has a brother. Are you staying here for good? She needs you more than ever, and I bet that you need her too." –Heidi kept talking, ignoring the snow that started to fall again. Momiji noticed when she started to shiver.

-"Would you like to come in? I don't know at what time they'll be back, but I can call them to find out if you want." –he looked back behind her to the car.

-"Okay!" –she turned around and signaled for her parents to wait for her for a moment. They nodded.

Momiji found the note where they wrote the phone number before they left, and dialed it while the girl stood by his side in the living room. She refused to sit down, saying that the coat was wet now from all the snow. He waited for a while for someone to answer, but no one did, even after he called again.

-"No answer?" –Heidi asked amused at the sight of the boy sighing loudly as he hung up the second time. "Don't worry. Just tell your sister that I came by to see her and to return this, please." –she showed him the violin case. She noticed the way his eyes went eagerly to it.

-"You play the violin too?" –Heidi was shocked now. The similarities between the siblings were just too many.

-"I used to. I quit when I entered college, though. I didn't have the time to practice anymore." –he explained. "Momo told me that she still plays the violin. Is she good?" –the boy asked, unconsciously fishing for a compliment for his sister. Heidi smiled. All big brothers were the same.

-"She's almost as good as me." –she laughed. Then she realized what he just said. "Wait, did you say college? Just how old are you?"

-"I could make you guess, but I know that I don't look my age. I'm actually twenty-two. I graduated from college two weeks ago." –Momiji was really having fun now. The expression on her face was priceless.

-"What? For a moment there, I thought that you were her twin! You don't look much older than her. So what, did you become her guardian now that your parents are gone?"

Momiji was shocked speechless for a moment. She really was a clever girl.

-"No. If I became her guardian I'd have to take her back to Japan with me. She doesn't want to do that. Everything and everyone she loves are here. This is her home now." –he said with a hint of sadness that Heidi quickly noticed.

-"Do you miss her when you're in Japan?" –she asked quietly.

Momiji sighed loudly and nodded. He kept on smiling that wistful, sad smile of his.

-"How did you know…? –Heidi noticed that the boy had trouble formulating his question. She knew what he wanted to ask, though.

-"How did I know what? That you're her brother? I have eyes, you know." –she laughed. Momiji smiled again, this time a mischievous spark crossed his eyes for a moment.

-"Is it that obvious?" –he asked.

-"You have no idea. You look more like your mother than Momo! And you have your father's eyes. I don't mean the color; it's more like you two share the same sadness. It's sadness so great that it spills from your eyes." –she explained, looking straight at his face the whole time.

-"My father was sad?" –Momiji felt a pang of regret at the mental image of his father. He always believed that he had forgotten about him completely and moved on happily with his life.

-"Momo didn't notice, but I knew. She's pretty oblivious to this kind of thing, as I'm sure you already know, but I saw the sadness. I'm telling you: you and your father have the same eyes. Maybe he missed you." –she said seriously.

Momiji didn't say a word. He just stood there and lowered his head, pondering the things she said. Her voice interrupted his thoughts.

-"It's such a pity that your eyes can't smile as happily as your mouth. You have to learn how to make them smile too if you want to make people believe that you're happy." –her voice was barely above a whisper now.

Momiji still didn't say a word. He breathed deeply once, twice, before he looked back at her. He looked calm now. He nodded again.

-"I really have to go now. Will I see you later?" –her voice was back to its enthusiastic tone.

-"I don't think so. I'm leaving in four days." –he explained.

-"Oh! I'll try to come back to say goodbye to you, but just in case…"

Momiji didn't see it coming. Heidi hugged him quickly and kissed his cheek with a shy smile on her face. Still in shock, he looked at her as she turned around and went to the door. She stopped with her hand on the knob, ready to leave.

-"You never told me your name…" –she asked after she laughed again.

-"Momiji." –he said it slowly, knowing that the foreign name would be hard for her to learn.

-"Momiji." –she repeated. "Okay, see you later, Momiji!" –she turned around with a grin on her face and waved to him before stepping out of the house and into the falling snow.


	23. Of violins and pink shirts

Momiji stood still in the living room for a few more minutes after the girl left. He was still amazed that she figured out the truth so quickly. For a moment he panicked at the thought that she might tell Momo, but he had the feeling that whenever that happened he would already be far away from them. He was safe for now.

He eyed the violin case again, and smiled at the memory of the time when he used to play too. He had to quit, even against his will, seeing as to how he didn't have enough time left after he started working and going to college at the same time. Tohru had been the one most disappointed. She used to enjoy just sitting in the garden outside his house as he practiced. He loved music. The feelings that he kept guarded all the time came out unbridled while he played. It was his only means of release. Once he quit his music, everything else started to change as well.

He honestly didn't remember how it came to be, but he distinctly recalled the morning when he realized that he didn't have a pink shirt anymore… or red, or green, or even blue for that matter. His clothes were all an array of navy, white, black and all possible shades of grey. The scary thing was, he realized now, that back then he didn't care. He had just shrugged off the fact and closed his closet's doors indifferently.

The day he was told that he had to start working at one of the companies that the family owned, he knew two things for sure: that it was the end of his life as knew it and that he had no way to refuse. Being his adaptable self, he soon felt at ease in the business world, thanks to his natural ability to do business and mainly because of Ritsu and Tohru. Rit-chan had been his mentor and Tohru had been his greatest supporter. Whenever he felt that the pressure was just too much for him to handle, Tohru appeared by his side and drove all his worries away. At first he resented his father for making him the administrator of his fortune, thus pushing him into a world that he didn't like. Over time, his opinion changed. At present he felt that it was just the way things should be, and that he should feel flattered that his father had so much faith in his abilities.

He _should, _but still he found himself wondering from time to time what it could've been like to be a musician, to be able to express his feelings through music.

He now wondered where all of his pink shirts and his violin had gone.

And there it was: Momo's violin. He refused to think about how she was encouraged to play whereas he was ordered to quit.

There was nobody home. No one would ever know.

He reverently opened the case to find the instrument resting silently in there. The feel of the cool wood on his fingertips made a rush of excitement run through him. He closed his eyes and smiled wistfully. He took the violin in his hands, denying himself a doubtful thought. After all the turmoil and heartache of the past days, he _needed _back his music.

He hadn't played for so long that it took him sometime to get used to the feeling of the instrument against his body. He had to adjust the position several times until he recognized the right spot where it should be. The first few notes came out off key, but after a few tries, the music started to flow smoothly.

Momiji played a piece that he knew by heart, surprising himself by the fact that he remembered it so well, even if he couldn't name the notes now.

He took the opportunity to analyze his situation once again, only this time he had the peace of mind that he didn't have before.

'Momo doesn't want to go with me. My home is not her home; it's never been and deep down, I always knew. The truth is that as much as I love my sister, I couldn't be her older brother for real before, and now I'll never be. I can't take away the memory of her parents from her. Everything is just the way it should be. It doesn't matter if it's fair or not anymore. I didn't know it back when I agreed to be separated from my family, but this is a consequence of that. I just have to keep on living with my decision.'

He finished the piece. The house was silent once again. The sad smile was still on his face, but he felt calm and resigned now. He only had three more days left, or rather, two and a half. He decided to enjoy every minute of them before he left for good.

Momo stood on at the door with her grandmother, the keys of the house still in her hand. They came in the middle of the piece, and found themselves rooted mutely to the spot while he played. Even being her oblivious self, she was a musician too, and Momo recognized the pure sadness behind the music. Momiji stood there in the living room with his eyes closed and a calm face that contrasted with the emotions he poured into each and every note.

Momo didn't know how, but she recognized it as his way of saying goodbye. He was letting go of something, and it broke her heart.


	24. The picture

Christmas morning came at last. Momiji didn't think much of Christmas for a long time, but his year it was different, and he found himself being unable to sleep well. He kept on waking every hour to check the time. He remembered how Christmas mornings were back when he was a child. For a brief moment he had the feeling that his father would come through his door any moment. He didn't really care about the holidays anymore, and this morning in particular he didn't feel in the mood for celebrations. He was just curious about the presents. He figured that it would be rude to wake everybody up so that he could open them, so he waited patiently until Momo and Grandma were up before getting out of his room.

He didn't have to wait for long, though. Grandma came in after a soft knock on the door. He sat up with a soft smile and greeted her in Japanese for a change. She sat down next to him on the bed.

-"I like that." –Momiji just looked at her with questioning eyes, so she explained further.

-"You always smile in the morning. I like it that you start the day that way."

He only smiled again. He didn't want to ruin the moment with words. It was good to be like that, just sitting next to his grandmother. He was enjoying and treasuring every second of it, even more knowing that his time with her was running out.

-"I was surprised when I heard you play yesterday. I didn't know that you played the violin too. You have talent, a gift. I'm so proud of you!" –and with no previous warning, she hugged him. Momiji hugged her back weakly. She noticed it, but she kept on hugging him anyway. She could never hug this child too many times.

-"I'm out of practice. I felt so embarrassed when you walked in on me like that. I didn't want Momo to find out that I took her violin." –he was still in a loose embrace with his grandmother. He didn't dare to melt completely into her loving arms, or he would never have the courage to let go.

-"I'm sure that she didn't mind. She loves you, and she told me that she was happy to hear you play again. She told me another thing too: she said that she felt like you were saying goodbye. I agree." –she explained softly. She was scared of what Momiji might be thinking. She didn't want him to suffer even more.

-"I was, in a way. I'm sure that Momo told you already, but I'm leaving at midday the day after tomorrow. I don't know when or if I'll come back." –his voice started to sound detached, distant.

-"Momiji" –she said softly, making him pull apart from the hug so that she could look at him. He waited silently for her to continue. "Aren't you going to tell Momo? She deserves to know. Don't do to her what your parents did to you. Don't decide for her. You said that you loved your sister…"

-"I do, that's why I'm leaving her so that she can be happy here." –he was too calm about this. He was saying the words like they were a programmed answer that he had rehearsed many times. She didn't like it. It wasn't normal. In an unsettling contrast, he was smiling again that apparently happy smile of his, the one that she now recognized as an empty one.

-"What made you think that she'll be happy here without you?" –she wanted to make him react to her words, but he kept on speaking in that even voice of his.

-"Everything and everyone she loves are here. Her parents are buried here." –he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. "You are here. Until two weeks ago, she had been living her life perfectly fine without me. She will be just as fine after I leave. She doesn't need me. She never has. She has you." –again those pre-fabricated answers. He was hiding his feelings behind them.

-"You are wrong, and I think that you're making a terrible mistake." –she lightly scolded him.

-"Please, _obaa-san._ Let me do this my way." –he really needed her support. He still didn't know how he was going to be able to leave them in two days, more likely to never see them again.

Brigitta understood his unspoken request. He had called her _obaa-san._ She had learned over the past few days that it was a title much closer to his heart, but he only used it when they were alone.

-"I respect your decision, even if I think that you should tell her." –Momiji gave her a grateful look. She continued once she had eye contact with him again. "Because of that, I had to give you this before she wakes up." –She put a wrapped package in his hands that he hadn't noticed before. Momiji started to tear the paper apart to reveal his gift. Brigitta took in his curious eyes, so much like a child's, contrasting with his calm exterior. She felt resentment against her daughter for the first time for keeping this boy away from her. She had missed out his whole life. Finally, he uncovered the object inside the box.

-"I found it among your father's things one day while I was looking for information about you. At first I thought that it was Momo, but two days ago, when I took it out to clean the frame, I noticed the date. It's you in there." –she explained with a grin of satisfaction.

Momiji held a frame that he vaguely recognized. Inside, there was a picture of his parents with a little blond toddler. He was shocked when he recognized himself in the picture. He must've been two or three at that time. He was sitting on his mother's lap and for once she was looking at him with something akin to tenderness. Momiji was grinning, but what really caught his attention were his own eyes: they were smiling too. Had he ever been able to smile like that? His father was standing behind his little family with a proud, content face. If he didn't know better, he would've believed that the people in the picture were happy. He wondered how his father had managed to have the picture taken, and how he had made his wife agree to touch their child for once.

-"Thank you." –he whispered without looking up from the picture in his hands. Momiji ran his finger over the smooth surface of the glass, tracing each figure in it. He waited for several long minutes before he spoke again.

-"I don't remember when they took the picture… I made the frame at school after I left their house. I asked Papa to give it to her. I guess he never did."

-"Maybe he didn't want to let go of it, so he treasured it for himself." –Brigitta believed that to be the only possible explanation. For a moment, she felt some sympathy for her son-in-law. He must've missed his son after all.

-"Maybe… Papa had a very peculiar way to show his love." –he didn't look up yet. Brigitta noticed the endearing name and thought that it was cute that Momiji referred to his father in such a childish way even after all that happened.

-"What do you think of them now? You told me that you don't need parents anymore because you are all grown up now… do you really think so?"

He only nodded. Brigitta realized that he was speaking less and less every time. She didn't like that at all. She was afraid of loosing her grandchild to a stranger.

-"Momiji, look at me." –she asked softly. Once his eyes met hers she confirmed her suspicions. The distant look was coming back into them, and the fake smile hadn't faltered for even a second. "What is it? What are you thinking about? This is not you." –she had to stop herself from shaking the boy to force a reaction out of him, but he just kept the mask on his face and replied calmly.

-"Don't worry. I'm fine. Everything is fine now." –he broke eye contact with her as he stood up to put the picture inside his suitcase. Brigitta realized then that he had everything packed up already, or rather, she had the feeling that he never unpacked at all. Once he put the picture away, he faced her and for a brief moment she saw a hint of sadness cross his eyes. After that, the smile only grew more. She was growing scared. He just stood there in silence, waiting for her to make the first move. It was as if he had decided to go along with whatever she wanted him to do.

She stood up and walked to the door in a silent invitation for him to follow.

-"Let's go get your sister. Don't you want to open your presents?" –she said in the cheeriest voice she could manage.

Momiji only nodded and started to walk behind her. Somehow, he didn't feel curious about the presents anymore.


	25. Coincidences and differences

Momo heard them coming long before they knocked on her door. She had been awake for a while now. She even heard her grandmother go into Momiji's room and waited under the covers for a long time before she heard them walking out of his room and into hers.

She didn't want to get up. This had always been her favorite day of the year, but now with her parents gone, she dreaded the moment when she had to come to terms with the fact that this was the first of the rest of her Christmases without them. She felt a pain so deep at the thought that she had the unconscious impulse to put her hand over her heart as she fought to keep the tears at bay. Momiji was there, and she wanted him to have a happy day. She wanted to share that happy day with him.

She didn't want him to go. She wished that there could be a way to make him stay, but she knew that it was impossible. She wanted to go with Momiji, but she didn't want to become a burden for him, so she made him believe that she wanted to stay because of her grandmother. She could never make him take her in out of pity, only to regret it later to be chained to someone else.

She still didn't know what to do with her life. She knew that she had to move into her grandmother's house in the next few days. That meant that she would have to leave her home and everything she knew behind. She didn't want to move on. She just wanted to stay in the comfort of her bed forever, knowing that her _onii-chan_ was just a few steps down the corridor.

She couldn't explain the need that she felt for his presence. She had been mourning the loss of her parents for days, but since he arrived, she had felt safe, knowing that her big brother was there to protect and support her.

He was a riddle. She couldn't understand how it was possible for him to be "happy all the time", when his eyes told her a different story. She couldn't read all the emotions that his eyes reflected, but she knew that deep down, Momiji wasn't happy. It was a feeling rather than a conclusion. She kept on thinking about all the little things that both Momiji and Grandma thought that she didn't notice. She knew that they were keeping something from her, but she had no idea as to what that could be.

She noticed the way Grandma looked at him, the way her eyes filled with love and pride whenever he spoke. She saw clearly that Momiji loved her grandmother too. The easiest thing to solve that particular riddle would be to assume that Grandma saw another grandchild in him, since he was an orphan too, and that Momiji had found in her the Grandma he never had. That would be too easy, but she knew that it was more than that. Their love for each other was deeper than just the need to fill the void, or just affinity.

She knew that he loved her like a sister. He didn't "adopt" her those many years ago: he took her into his heart to be his sister in every sense of the word. She could sense just how strongly he felt for her, and how much he really cared. It would be easy to believe that since he didn't have any siblings he had made her a replacement to fill that place in his family. That would be an obvious explanation, but the way she felt when he hugged her and he showed his concern for her told her that there was much more to it than that.

The longing in his eyes told her of a great loss. She knew that he had become an orphan when he was very young. She knew that his closest relatives were his cousins. She knew that he loved Tohru, but that his love was one-sided. He lived by himself, and over time he had lost that eccentric happiness that characterized him. Momiji provided a logical reasoning for that, saying that he had grown up and that he had to change through the years. That was the most logical explanation, but she knew that it was not true. It wasn't the lack of a family, and he had not outgrown his eccentricity: he had resigned himself to some unknown fate, and that involved a loss so great that it filled his eyes with longing.

Sometimes, when he was serious or sad, she could swear that she could hear him speaking with her father's voice. She knew that his eyes had the same look as her father's. It would be easy to assume that both were family traits, but she knew that it wasn't the reason. The sadness in their eyes was not a coincidence: she somehow had come to think that it was a shared pain.

She knew that people in the street assumed that they were brother and sister at first sight. She knew that they looked alike, and it was the most unsettling thing of them all. She didn't want to think about just how much they resembled each other, because then she would have to think of who she looked like too. Momiji himself told her that she looked just like her mother. The day before, at her uncle's, all her relatives kept on asking about him, and she had caught some of her aunts and uncles exchanging meaningful looks. Apparently they were as confused as she was.

Momiji and Momo shared their love for music, but he quit playing while she kept on learning and practicing. They were both bilingual, but he felt more comfortable with Japanese whereas she felt better speaking German. She had always been happy, and just recently she realized that most of the time, Momiji was playing a part, wearing different masks to make everybody believe in a false happiness. She had had a loving family and a home for all her life until now. The way he talked about his own family made her think that he never had a home, even during the few years he and his parents lived under the same roof.

So many differences and yet so many coincidences… she didn't know what to think anymore.

And yet she kept thinking that all those ideas were the result of an overactive imagination and too many idle hours. If there was something more underneath it all, somebody would've told her something already. They all loved her: her parents, Grandma and _onii-chan._ They would never keep anything from her.

Above all, she felt a strong connection between Momiji and herself. He didn't need to say much for her to understand what he wanted to tell her. She felt happy around him, and Tohru told her that she hadn't seen Momiji so happy in a long time as he was around Momo. She knew that he would do anything for her, and she would do anything for him…

…which was the reason why she had to let him go back to his own home, where he could be happy.

The doorknob rotated and a second later, Momiji and Grandma entered the room.


	26. Broken links

Momiji knelt down on the carpet a few minutes after Momo woke up. They all went straight to the living room to open the presents, and even though he didn't feel like laughing and celebrating, he put up the happy act once more for Momo's sake. She deserved to have the best Christmas possible, specially this year, the first one without her parents.

Thinking about it he couldn't help it but to think that all the giddiness and clapping on her part was part of her own act for his sake. Somehow, he knew that she didn't feel as enthusiastic about this whole thing as she pretended to be. He didn't like the idea, but he didn't feel like trying to help her at that moment. The situation was hard enough for him as it was. He just couldn't muster the strength required for the task.

'You have the right to be selfish once in your life.' Tohru's words came back to his mind and helped him to feel a little better.

Brigitta supposed that people never outgrew the excitement of the gift opening ritual at Christmas. Momo was dancing around and giggling in anticipation. Momiji snickered at seeing the girl so happy. Both had grins on their faces and spoke in happy voices.

If only she could dismiss the feeling that both children were putting an act for each other's sakes.

Momo finally sat down on the carpet, not daring to imitate Momiji's position. Brigitta was amazed once more of how easy it was for him to be on his knees for long periods of time and still stand up after that as if nothing had happened. She thought that it must be a Japanese thing. Momiji looked at Momo and smiled lovingly at her. Momo smiled back, mirroring his feelings in her own eyes.

Brigitta took the opportunity to lift the first present to her eye level so that she could read the card without putting on her glasses.

-"Let's see… This one is for Momiji" –the boy turned to her and extended his hands. She handed the package to him and both she and Momo waited excitedly for him to open it. Momiji found some cloth in there. He pulled it out of the box to reveal what it was.

It was a pink shirt.

Momiji laughed. He felt like he had been given a part of his old self back. Although Momo and Brigitta had no way of knowing what the gift meant to him, they joined in. It was good to hear him laugh.

-"It just doesn't seem right to me that someone so young wears sad colors. That's not you. I remembered what you told me about your missing pink shirts, and I thought that you should have at least one. I want to see you wearing something brighter, happier. Even if you don't ever put it on, at least whenever you open your closet and see it there, you'll think of me." –Momo explained shyly. She was glad that he liked the gift, and deep down, she felt relieved. For a moment there, she was afraid that he might not like it.

Momiji only nodded and thanked her for the gift. He pulled a random package from under the tree next. It was for Momo.

Inside it was a sweater with the craziest and most unlikely combination of colors in random geometric figures. The overall effect, however, was pretty nice. It was also soft as a cloud, as Momo discovered when she ran her hand over it. She thanked the gift to Grandma. Momo gave the next gift to Momiji.

Momiji laughed again. He was enjoying this gift opening thing after all.

It was another crazy sweater, very similar to Momo's, only the color combination was different.

-"These two sweaters look very much alike, but each one is unique in its own way. They complement each other and they look their best when they're together. They remind me of you both." –Grandma explained. She hoped that they could understand the message behind the gifts.

Understanding crossed Momiji's eyes and he nodded in acknowledgement. Momo just smiled, and Brigitta knew that she didn't get it yet.

The next one was Momo's gift for Grandma. She gave her a brand new bottle of her favorite perfume.

-"I noticed that you were running out of it." –the girl explained.

Brigitta thanked her for the gift with a big hug that the girl reciprocated happily. Grandma felt like the shadow of sadness had finally lifted and the children were really enjoying themselves.

That had been the last gift under the tree. Brigitta and Momo looked at Momiji expectantly as he searched for something in the right pocket of his pajama. They had no clue as to what he got for them, since he didn't buy a single thing the day he and Momo had gone out shopping.

He pulled out a small box adorned with an red silk ribbon. It screamed 'expensive' just by the looks of it.

-"I got your rabbit." –he said happily as he offered the box to Momo. She was terribly curious of the contents of the box, so she undid the ribbon as fast as she could.

It was a jewelry box. She was not used to that kind of gift. It was the first time anyone gave her something of the kind. Her father believed that she was still too young for jewels, and he wanted to wait until she was older to give her any. Momo opened the box slowly with trembling fingers. It was impossible for her to hide her excitement.

It was a white gold bracelet. Delicate links sparkled as he took it out of the box for both women to have a better look at it. There were a rabbit and a moon hanging from it. If possible, the tiny figures sparkled even more than the links that made up the bracelet. It was breathtaking. As Grandma and Momo held it by turns in their hands, Momiji closed his eyes for a moment.

'You have the right to be selfish once in your life.'

Refusing to give it a second thought, he began to speak quietly and slowly, struggling to put the words together in that foreign language of his mother.

-"There was once a little bunny that was given as a gift to a man and his wife. The bunny was cursed, and because of it he brought sadness to the people around him. The man loved it, but his wife was afraid of it so much that she got sick. She told the man to get rid of the bunny or she would die. He decided that the only way to protect her was to put it on the moon, where it was always bright and the little rabbit would always be happy. The man felt guilty for doing that to the bunny, so he asked it to "help her." The bunny didn't want to be put away, but he agreed to save the woman's life. He did it because he loved her."

-"Momiji, what are you trying to say…" –Momo started. He interrupted her as if she had never spoken. As he continued speaking, he carefully took the bracelet from their hands and put it around her wrist. Momo couldn't stop staring at the way the metal sparkled in the light.

-"In the beginning, the bunny would often think: 'Why can't I be with them? I love them! I want to go back home and be a family!' It never got back. It was forgotten, as if it never existed. Later, the man and his wife had a baby. The rabbit felt very happy, because it thought that maybe this child would give him a chance, so it loved her from the first moment. He begged to the man to be allowed to come see the child, or to let her go to the moon so they could play together, but the father never gave in. He thought that his child could get sick like her mother or maybe sad because of the curse, so he kept the child and the rabbit apart. The rabbit wanted to be with the child, but he didn't want to hurt her, so he decided to watch over them all from the moon. He still watches over her to this day. He will always do."

-"Momiji, who are you talking about?" –Momo was really confused. Was he talking about someone, or was it just a story? He continued without acknowledging her question, his voice betraying a deep sadness that only Grandma seemed to notice under the smile on his face. He held the rabbit figure between his fingers.

-"The rabbit is free of the curse now, but it still carries the sadness inside, because it will never go back to its family. The bunny will stay away because even though it still loves them, the ties that connected it to them are broken. The links between people are fragile: Once they are broken, they can never be repaired." –he ran his fingers over the bracelet as he spoke. Momo felt like he was talking to himself. "I'm giving you this rabbit so that you will always know that even though links can be broken, feelings cannot, even if they are never reciprocated. That is the moral of the story." –he finished with a grin and a graceful bow, as if accepting an ovation.

Brigitta couldn't believe her ears. He told his sister the truth after all! She only hoped that Momo could read between the lines and realize what Momiji was trying to tell her. Momo was looking at him with a mix of confusion and hope, but the moment ended abruptly as he laughed lightly and he pulled her into a hug.

-"Just think about the story whenever you look at the moon." –he asked her. "I hope that you liked your present."

Momo could only reply with a broken 'thanks' before Momiji pulled another box from his other pocket. He handed it to Grandma with a tender smile.

-"I heard that diamonds are a woman's best friends or something like that…" –he trailed off shyly as Grandma stared in shock to the exquisite gold necklace incrusted with at least a dozen diamonds in a beautiful design.

-"Thank you, but… This must cost a fortune!" –she loved the gift, but she felt reluctant to accept it.

-"Don't worry about that! I told you, I have my own money! Plenty of it, in fact…" -he assured her as he laughed again. The look on his sister's and grandmother's faces was priceless. He figured that they still had a hard time thinking of him as a grown business man and not the teenager he looked like.

-"Think of it as my way to make it up to you for all the gifts I never had a chance to give you!" –he looked at Grandma, telling her without words how much he loved her.

Momo was still confused. She kept racking her brains, trying to figure out what had just happened. Once again, Momiji cut off her thoughts:

-"So, what are we having for breakfast?"


	27. Hers and ours

The day had gone on happily. Momiji had a great time, despite the heart wrenching knowledge that those were his last moments with them in a long time or more likely, ever. Momo couldn't stop noticing that it took Momiji just a second too long to laugh with them, and that he had this strange look in his eyes the whole time. The story of that morning was still in the back of her mind, but she just didn't have the time to think about it all day.

She was looking for Momiji at the moment. He was nowhere in sight and some of her relatives had just come to visit. Momo knew that they wanted to meet him, and that this Christmas visit was just the perfect cover-up story for their real intentions. Momiji didn't know it, but he was going to have to go back in with her so that she could introduce him to her family.

He was standing outside, watching the setting sun. He had that sad look in his eyes again, but as she looked at his profile bathed on the soft dying light of the sunset, the only thought that crossed her mind was how handsome he looked at that moment. She was surprised to find him wearing only his new sweater, with no coat or anything else over it. It was almost freezing, but he didn't seem to mind.

-"Aren't you cold?" –Momo asked shivering slightly under her thick coat.

-"I'm not, but I can see that you are…" –he pointed out. "You should get inside, or else you're going to get sick." –he warned half-joking, looking at her from the corner of his eye, his full attention on the sky.

-"I came looking for you. I was worried." –she explained between shivers.

-"What for? It's not like I'd leave without telling you." –he joked. She laughed.

-"One of my aunts is here visiting with her family. They want to meet you. Can you come back in so that I can introduce you?" –Momo was smiling mischievously, imagining their faces when they saw him up close and realized how handsome he was. She didn't notice him tensing up or the way he had to breathe slowly trying to calm down before going in with her.

-"Sure, let's go!" –he answered a little too enthusiastically, but Momo didn't notice, being so happy at the moment.

He went in with her. As soon as they arrived at the living room he was able to identify Momo's aunt immediately. _'Our aunt'_, he corrected himself.

The woman smiled to him and then she and Grandma exchanged looks. He panicked, even if he didn't show it as he shook hands with her after Momo introduced him to her and her family. Her husband was there, as well as a couple of children a little younger than Momo, all of them clearly resembling each other. He was so preoccupied with what they could say that he didn't notice the shocked looks of his aunt and uncle exchanged when they saw him closely or the proud way Grandma nodded in confirmation of their suspicions.

-"Is he our cousin too, Mutti?" –asked one of the children, whose name he couldn't remember. He pleaded with his eyes to his aunt, but she didn't seem to notice, as she had already turned her face to her child.

-"I don't know. You have to ask him if he wants to be." –Momiji had a hard time figuring out her words. At that moment his thoughts were all chaotic. However, his smile never faltered.

It was the same smile he had reprimanded Momo about just a couple of days before. _Her_ smile.

He broke out of his thoughts when he realized that he was expected to answer. He didn't understand the double meaning of the question, but he gave the right answer, if the relieved sigh of his adult relatives was any indication.

-"Sure!" –was the only word that he could come up with.

Momo left to the kitchen to get something, and he suddenly felt vulnerable standing there, in the middle of all those strangers. He knew that the adults were scrutinizing him, looking for similarities between him and them.

Brigitta decided to join Momo in the kitchen to get whatever it was they were getting. As soon as she disappeared, his aunt hugged him without a word, followed by her children. His uncle gave him an appreciative look before hugging him too in a more manly way. Momiji was so shocked by their actions that he could only hug them back without a word. Strangely enough for him, the situation was not as awkward as he had always imagined it to be. It was more like a welcome.

-"You look just like your mother." –half whispered his uncle. His aunt agreed. Momiji could only nod in reply. The fear could be seen clearly on his face, and the ever present smile faltered for a moment.

-"You even have that same smile Momo and your mother share." –his uncle said mostly to himself. Momiji looked at him with a confused look.

-"That's right. I'm sure that you've noticed: just look at the way Momo smiles whenever she's nervous or lying. That's the one." –his aunt explained. Momiji took the information in and stored it for later analysis. He knew that smile; he just never thought that he had it too.

The children were looking at him silently with something akin to admiration.

-"Are you really Japanese like our uncle? You don't look like one!" –the boy finally asked. Momiji smiled, amused at the question.

-"Of course I am! I'm Momo's older brother. Pleased to meet you." –he said in Japanese before bowing formally. He laughed at the way they were looking at him once he stood up straight once more. That was the moment when they all finally felt at ease with each other.

Momiji was relieved when he realized that they had apparently decided not to mention his relation to Momo. They didn't question him about his past or his parents either. They just wanted to meet him before he left, his aunt explained.

They spent the next couple of hours just talking. The children and later Momo too, questioned him about his life in Japan, his friends, his family and school. He mentioned his work, but he didn't feel like talking about it so he didn't elaborate on that topic. He explained it all the best he could, stumbling a little with just a few words that he didn't know the translation for.

He had a great time talking about the world he knew: about his home. He didn't notice Momo's sad face when he mentioned his family's New Year traditions and festivities. His words reminded her that he was leaving in less than two days, and that it would be a long time before he visited again. They also made her realize that she didn't know many things about him, and she wished to have the time to learn.

Momiji's dreams were interrupted at 4:00 am the next day. A sleepy Momo was shaking his arm. He sat on the bed, and while he tried to focus her face he felt something hard in his hand.

-"It's for you." –half yawned Momo. "Someone called Ritsu. He says he's our cousin."

He noticed Grandma standing at the door, looking half-asleep herself. He smiled and half muttered a slurred 'good morning' before picking up the phone to answer.

-"Rit-chan-san?" –asked Momiji, using Tohru's nickname for his cousin and business partner. Momiji knew that the only person Ritsu allowed such liberties was Tohru. It was fun to hear him get upset so early in the morning. He realized that his dear old cousin had him on the speaker, if the echo of his voice and Tohru's muffled laughter in the back was any indication.

-"Very funny, Usagi-chan." –replied Ritsu with his own nickname for his younger cousin and unofficial adoptive brother.

-"You do realize what time it is now here, don't you?" –Momiji was awake now and he couldn't stop noticing the time. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Grandma leaving to her room while Momo decided to curl up in bed next to him. He pulled the covers over her with one hand while he heard the answer.

-"I know, and trust me: I checked the time. It's just that it's already noon here and I needed to ask you some things." –Ritsu's voice carried the ever-present apology, but he had improved greatly on that. It was a long time since he had an apology fit like before. –"Besides, I wouldn't be doing this now if only you had remembered to turn on your mobile phone. I've been trying to reach you since yesterday!"

-"I'm sorry. It's just that yesterday was Christmas day and we were kind of busy here. Even Momo's aunt came by with her family."

-"Really? That's great! So, how's your aunt? Is she nice?" –Momiji checked on Momo. She was asleep, and being a heavy sleeper he knew that she couldn't hear what he said.

-"She is. Her husband and children too." –Ritsu could hear his smile all the way to Japan as his cousin spoke. That made both Tohru and himself smile too.

-"Your uncle and cousins…" –corrected Ritsu. "Remember what we talked about when you told me about your grandmother before you left? Those people are not Momo-chan's family only. They are your family too."

-"I know! It's just that I'm not used to the concept of a family outside the Soumas. These people are all strangers to me… At least they were." –Momiji recalled how he felt when he talked with them. They were not strangers anymore. Momiji decided to change the topic. "Anyway, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?" –he questioned as he rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hand.

For the next two hours Ritsu and Tohru filled him in about urgent matters that required his attention. Momiji gave instructions and agreed on actions to take with his partner. For the first time in days he felt like a business man again, his mind clear and sharp as he processed data and solved problems in his head without writing anything down. Ritsu did the same on his side of the phone, and Tohru took notes and made a couple of suggestions.

-"I don't care what he says! Tell him that I am the administrator, and that he has to do as I say whether he thinks it is convenient or not! –Momiji raised his voice, something not as uncommon as most people thought. He never yelled, he just raised his voice a little, but the way he said things emphasized his words effectively. By now Tohru and Ritsu were used to his temper and outbursts, but it was enough to make the up to that moment half-asleep Momo wake up completely. She didn't move though, afraid of disturbing him.

-"That was my parents' house. I'm telling you that I don't care how much they're offering, it's not for sale!" There was a moment of silence while the people on the other side explained something. "No, and that's final. In any case, that would be my sister's decision, and I don't think that she would want to do that." Momo was shocked. He had a sister? She decided to hear the rest of the conversation, even though she still had trouble understanding what he said as he was speaking in Japanese, and very quickly too. Fortunately for her, after almost three weeks hearing him speak, she was reacquainted with the language enough to keep up with him.

-"No, I haven't told her yet." –she felt his eyes on her again checking if she was still sleeping. She was pretending to be, but he didn't know that. He continued. "Because, Tohru, she won't believe it. I'm sure that you've noticed that she's very oblivious."

'Who is he talking about? Is he talking about me?'

-"I've tried! I've tried to tell her many times, but I always stop before I get to do it." Another pause. "I know. I keep replaying in my head what you told me at the airport about being selfish, but I just can't do it! I told her indirectly yesterday, but she will never figure it out." He was frustrated. She could hear it in his voice.

This time the pause was longer, and Momo had time to realize that he was really talking about her.

-"We never had a chance and you know it, Rit-chan-san. I really believed that this was the opportunity I had been waiting for, but…" There was another long pause. Momo was afraid to move or make any sound that could make him cut the conversation short.

-"I'm going back alone." He sounded so tired and defeated that Momo felt guilty once again. She knew that she was the reason why he felt that way, but she couldn't go back on her decision now. She was doing what was right… or wasn't she?

–"Of course I asked her, but she doesn't want to go back." Momo could hear a faint voice from where she was, so she guessed that they were raising their voices back in that office in Japan. Momo felt like she was being stabbed every time she thought that he was going back to his country the next day by himself.

-"I know that I'm her guardian and that I could make her go back home with me, but I don't want to do that."

'He's my guardian?''

-"The fact that he left the custody of Momo to me doesn't mean that I can do whatever I want regardless of what she wants…" Momo noticed his tired voice trying to defend himself.

-"There's nothing I can do about it." Someone back in Japan made a comment. "I've made a decision about this. Maybe I'll tell her later, but right now I just can't…" There was another comment, this time longer.

-"Can we talk about something else? She's sleeping right next to me and…"

Another comment from who she could barely make out was Ritsu. Momiji laughed at whatever it was he said, and then another long silent minute followed.

-"I know that you care, and I appreciate it, but there's nothing you can do to help me this time."

She couldn't hear what they said on the other side of the conversation, but they were trying to emphasize something… vehemently.

-"I agree, it is unfair, but it's just the way things are. I just wish I knew this back then when I said yes." Momo was just too confused at that moment.

'What is he talking about?'

-"Yes, I'll be there at that time… No, it's not really necessary. I can just take a cab or… Okay then. I'll be looking for you. Are you taking your cat with you, Tohru?" He was teasing Tohru? "Okay then, I'll wait for you at the airport. Thanks."

Momo heard the faint click of the phone as he turned it off. She felt him lay back down on the bed with his arm bent over his forehead. She pretended to be still sleeping as she hugged him under the covers. He hugged her back tenderly.

-"How am I going to leave you behind when I don't want to do that!" –he whispered in Japanese so quietly that Momo didn't understand what he said. He then kissed her head and relaxed with her in his arms.

Momo could never get enough of the feeling she got whenever she was with Momiji. At that moment, lying in bed and having her arms around him she felt safe and loved. She knew without a doubt that he would do anything to keep his promise to her. He would always protect her. She wanted that feeling and that moment to last forever. She wanted to be able to hug her _'onii-chan'_ anytime she wanted. He was so warm and strong… She was going to miss him… a lot.

'Why can't we be together like this forever? I don't want you to leave me!' –was the last thing she thought as she finally fell asleep for real.


	28. Who are you?

Momiji detached himself very carefully from his sister a couple of hours later. He didn't want to wake her up yet.

He sat on the bed and took a long time enjoying the moment and her proximity. It was the first time he ever shared something like this with her.

-"We never had a chance…" –he whispered sadly as he ran his fingers through her unkempt locks. She looked much more like the little girl from his memories at that moment.

Some minutes later Momiji decided that it was time to get out of bed. He only had this one day left, and he needed to make the most of it. He didn't dare to spend the whole day with Momo, though, as much as he wanted to, because he was afraid of what could happen if he did. He felt his resolve to let her stay wearing thin with every passing second, and he didn't want to do something that he could regret later.

So, he got dressed and ready to go while Momo still slept. When he got out of his room he found Grandma in the kitchen cooking breakfast. He looked at her silently for a few seconds, memorizing her moves and features. She didn't seem to notice.

-"I'm going to miss you too." –she said quietly. Grandma stopped her cooking to look at him in the eyes. Momiji knew that she really meant what she said.

He decided to change the topic. He didn't feel like talking about that. Ever.

-"I need to go out for a couple of hours. I'll be back later." –he explained vaguely.

-"Aren't you taking Momo with you? –she asked looking behind him for the girl. "You might get lost."

-"No, I'm not. I didn't want to wake her up, and besides, I have a good sense of direction." –his explanation felt and sounded like a lie even to himself. He knew that she figured the same.

-"It's not fair for Momo. She loves you, but you are running away from her." –she scolded him lightly.

-"She'll get over it with time. She has lived without me her whole life, it's not like she'll need me now." –he pointed out. He forced a smile on his face to conceal his sadness.

-"Don't you need her either?" –she had thought that he was back to normal after Christmas, but he was shutting her out again. She didn't like it. It was like talking to a stranger.

-"I'll manage. I'm used to it." –he stated with apparent indifference.

-"Used to what?"

-"I'm used to living without her." –he elaborated detachedly. "It's not like I'm losing her again. I never had her to begin with."

-"Won't you miss her?" –Brigitta saw him flinch visibly at the question. 'Bingo.'

He chuckled after a moment, startling her.

-"Every day." –the answer was tinged with bitterness, but it didn't show on his face.

-"Go and wake her up. I'm not letting you do this to her and more importantly, to yourself. Quit running away and give her a chance. You might be surprised." –she knew what he was doing, and she couldn't just stand there while he cut them off his life.

-"Maybe I am running away. The problem is that I'm not strong enough to go on with this anymore. I can't… Maybe I shouldn't have come here at all! What if…" –he trailed off, the bitterness still present in his words.

-"Don't say that! Do you really regret coming here?"

-"It didn't change a thing! _I_ didn't change a thing! I…" He cut the sentence off again.

-"You what..?" She really needed to know. She knew that there was something else that he was not talking about, something that hurt him deeply.

-"It's nothing. I'm sorry. I'm just homesick." He lied.

-"This can be your home too if you want." –she reminded him. They talked about that several times during the days he was there, but he always gave the same answer.

-"I don't belong here." Another programmed response, and then, "Momo does."

He had told her about his conversation with the Japanese couple days ago. Their words struck her as true and wise, so she decided to use them again.

-"Her home is wherever you are."

-"Home is where the heart is, isn't it how the saying goes? Her heart is here, with you." –he countered.

-"How do you know that? You know she loves you and…" She felt that she had finally found the reason of this change. She needed to know more to figure out the situation completely. He interrupted a little curtly.

-"She didn't choose me…" He wanted to make her understand. Momo had chosen someone else instead of him.

He was rejected… again.

-"You resent her for that!" –she realized, shocked.

He didn't really blame Momo; it was more like he was disappointed and hurt. Momiji didn't deny the accusation, though. He simply decided to change the topic.

-"I'm leaving my little sister with you. Please, take care of her for me." He was entrusting her with someone precious to him. The only part of his family he had left. There was a tone of finality in his voice that alarmed her.

-"You know I will, but... you're talking like you're not coming back ever again… why?" She was loosing him, and now that she knew him that scared her more than anything else before in her life.

-"I don't know if I will. I really don't know… I don't have a reason to come back." –he explained, defeated.

-"What about your sister?" –she asked. Then, in a quiet voice: "What about me? I want to see you again!"

Momiji sensed the sadness in her voice. He couldn't bear to be the cause of it. He thought for a moment, and then his face lit up slightly.

-"You can visit me anytime you want. Just let me know and I'll send the tickets." His voice turned serious again. "It's just that I can't come back… maybe later, if I give it some time, okay?" His offer was sincere. Her grandson really wanted to see her again. That made a wave of relief run through her. She would make sure to visit him soon at his home, the place where he had grown up.

She nodded.

There was no way to make Momiji change his mind. He left that morning by himself. The most Grandma could make him do was to take the car. It was almost freezing outside. She couldn't understand why someone would want to go out with that weather.

Momiji took the time to drive around town and observe the people walking in the street. He stopped by some shops and bought souvenirs for his friends and family. Having had breakfast with Grandma, he skipped lunch, but bought himself a large bag of lollipops. He was still quite fond of candy; it was just that it didn't look good for a business man in a gray suit to have a lollipop in his mouth during a meeting with a client or dictating a letter, so he didn't have as many as he wanted anymore.

He knew that he had resigned himself to a life that he would've considered dull when he was Momo's age. He didn't plan on being like this back then. In fact, at that time he had totally different dreams and expectations for his future, all of which didn't come true. He knew from his own experience as well as others' that if you ever want to achieve your childhood dreams you can't afford to loose the excitement, the will to carry on.

Momiji didn't remember at what point in his life he lost both.

He supposed that Grandma was right. He was running away. He was giving up again. That realization made him feel like a coward, but he found out long before that there's no point in fighting a loosing battle. Resignation was much easier than desperation, and it made the loss bearable to a certain level.

Momiji got used to giving up with every time the decision to do so was made for him. That was all he was told to do: to let go, to stay away, to quit. He never had a chance to fight back as a child, and now as a grown man it had become a habit. He got so used to what he considered the way things should be done that he never questioned his own options anymore.

The only thing he ever asked, demanded and even pleaded for was his right to be Momo's brother.

And now he had lost that right too, or was he giving it up? He lacked the clarity of thought to analyze what had happened. He only knew that he needed to be away from her for the day if he was ever going to stick to his resolution of leaving her behind.

'Ironic, isn't it? Now it's the other way around.'

He went to the cemetery around noon. He remembered the place well, so he didn't have any trouble finding the graves. He just stood there for some minutes forcing into his mind the good memories he had of them. The visit was brief and silent. There was nothing to say.

On the way back he called Grandma to tell her that he was buying dinner. He took the opportunity to say goodbye to the Japanese couple at the restaurant and share another nice conversation with them. Neither of them mentioned Momo at all. Momiji acted happy as usual and ordered some of his favorite dishes, including the traditional _soba_ that his family was so fond of.

When he finally got back to the house he found Momo sitting in the living room waiting for him. Her face lit up with happiness when she saw him. She looked relieved.

Momo walked to him with an unreadable emotion in her eyes. Momiji was puzzled. He didn't know what to do when Momo stood on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. He guessed that it was a funny scene: he standing at the door with his arms loaded with dinner and she standing on her tiptoes kissing his cheek. He wished he had a camera right then.

He laughed. She pouted.

-"When I woke up this morning and I couldn't find you I was so scared! I thought that you were gone! I know that you said that you wouldn't leave without telling me, but…"

'I was scared', they both finished in their minds.

He knew that and he hated it, but there was nothing either one of them could do about it, so there was no point in saying anything.

He smiled at her again and started to walk to the kitchen to serve the food. Momo helped set the table. When he asked about Grandma Momo told him that she had gone out. Momiji knew that the old woman had planned everything so that he and Momo could spend some time together alone.

Momiji and Momo sat at the table to have dinner. They were both noticeably nervous, and while he was having a hard time keeping himself from speaking a little too much, paradoxically, she was nervous for just the opposite reason.

Momo wanted to talk to him, _really talk._ She knew that he was hiding something from her, and that it was something about her family, but she didn't want to come to any conclusions on her own. After all, if there was something that Momiji knew and that he had been hiding from her, she deserved to know it straight from him, not through someone else.

The fun part of dinner came when Momo tried to eat with the chopsticks. Momiji enjoyed seeing the utensils slipping through her fingers a couple of times before she finally got back the grasp of them and ate without any problems. He didn't comment on that, and she remained quiet.

Momiji finally broke the silence. She felt like he was talking to the eight-year-old version of her.

-"About what you said earlier… I'm sorry if I scared you. I didn't mean to. I told you the truth yesterday: I'd never leave without telling you." He reassured her with his calm and soothing voice.

-"I know, but the fact is that you're leaving anyway. I wish you could stay…" She wanted to find a way to stop him from leaving, but she knew that it was impossible. She kept on wishing for a miraculous turn of events, though.

-"I can't and we both know it. You will be happy here, with the people you love and your memories." –his voice was once again just like his father's, but he didn't realize that. Momo did.

-"What about you, Momiji? Will you be happy?" –she was having second thoughts about her decision. She needed to know if her sacrifice would really be worth it for the sake of Momiji's happiness.

-"That's the second time somebody asks me that. Don't worry. I'll be fine." –he told her with the biggest smile he could produce. She knew that he would be fine, but the wistful look in his eyes told her something else.

-"I know that you'll be fine; the question is if you will be happy." –she insisted. It took Momiji a minute to answer.

-"Rabbits are always happy, remember? Don't worry." –the smile didn't change or disappear as he spoke.

Momo couldn't take it anymore. She was tired of the riddles and the unspoken truths. She had to know.

-"Who are you really? Who am I to you?" –It was not a question. It was more like a demand. She wanted the truth, and she wanted him to say it…

…now.

Momiji stiffened noticeably upon hearing her question. For a moment she thought that he was going to snap at her, but he only breathed slowly a couple of times before the smile appeared on his lips once more.

-"We've talked about that before, what do you mean by that?" He was scared of her next question, but he had decided long ago that he would never lie if she asked him directly.

-"I know that you're hiding something from me. I'm not stupid, you know. I can tell that you and Grandma know something you don't want me to find out. Something about my family, isn't it? What is it?"

He didn't say a word. Momo couldn't see his face because he was looking down to his plate without moving or making a sound.

-"Let me ask you again. What is that secret you don't want to tell me? Who are you really?" Her voice was demanding and a little cold. Momiji didn't want her to know like this, but he was going to stick to his resolution.

He would never lie to her if she asked him directly.

He sighed, defeated, and answered simply and truthfully:

-"I told you before. I am your older brother." –He reached across the table to touch the tip of her nose with his finger as his eyes filled with unshed tears. "You'll just never believe it, will you?" –he whispered. "You'll never see what's right in front of your eyes, just like her."

-"Who are you talking about?" She dreaded the answer, because she already had an idea of who he was referring to.

-"Your Mama", a slight hesitant pause, and then a determined look settled in his eyes as he softly added: "My mother."


	29. Going back home

'_What do you say after that kind of confession? What's the right answer? What is the right thing to do?'_

Momiji couldn't believe that he had finally said it. It was not the way he had pictured it in his mind, but now that he was finally free from the burden of that secret he realized that it had been easier than he thought. All he had needed to do was to say those simple words aloud. He took a couple of slow breaths as he tried to reorganize his thoughts, waiting all the while for a reaction from Momo.

He sat back down on his chair across from her in the middle of the loudest silence he'd ever felt. Momo was there, across the table, her face an unreadable mask. She didn't even make a sound, and the only thing he could hear was his own breathing. It was the same feeling he had once, after he barely avoided a car accident. The only difference was that the blood ran frozen through his veins minutes after the shock passed, and that the fear didn't go away in a flash, but solidified to a crushing weight over his chest with every passing second. For an instant, he thought that that was the way a man waiting for a death sentence must feel: dreading the verdict but wanting the torture to be over. His worst fears were materializing in front of his eyes and he felt helpless. He wanted to run away, or better yet, to disappear so that he didn't have to face what he knew was coming.

Momo thought back to all those times when she knew they were hiding something from her, the times people could tell that they were brother and sister just by looking at them, and she finally came to acknowledge the fact her mother had denied to her years before: Momiji looked just like them. He had the same eye color, the hair, even that smile she saw on her mother's face sometimes. And then, the sadness in his eyes, his voice, so much like…

-"What about my Papa? Is he your father too?"

Momiji nodded. "Your Papa was my Papa too", he explained. Hearing her father's sad voice again coming from Momiji, she knew that he was saying the truth.

-"You really are…" _'Funny'_, she thought, _'now that I know that he is really my brother, I can't say the word.'_ She felt stupid when she realized that the truth about who he was had been before her very eyes all along. Momiji was right: she just didn't see it because deep down, she didn't want to admit it to herself.

-"And you were going to leave without telling me…" She couldn't see his face because he lowered his head, so she didn't have a clue at that moment of what might be running through his mind. He nodded again slowly, not looking up.

-"Why?" It was the logical question, and he had expected it, but at that moment Momiji was exhausted. The emotional strain he had been under those past days drained him of the strength to go through yet another interrogation. However, he had to answer and he knew it. Gathering the last of his courage, he tried to explain:

-"I… I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't know how to say it, what I should do…" Momo was so wrapped up in her own feelings that she didn't notice the pain in his voice, the apology. She wasn't expecting an answer. She knew that he was saying something to her, but she couldn't focus her attention on anything anymore. She had a million questions and she didn't even know where to begin asking them. She didn't even know if she wanted to hear the answers to those questions.

The only argument he had in his defense sounded lame to his own ears and he knew that it was just a poor excuse to try to justify his cowardice. He had deliberately lied to her by hiding the truth. There was no way his sister could ever believe anything he said anymore. Suddenly, he felt the urge to tell her everything, but there were no words he knew, neither in his mother's nor in his father's language, that could help him tell Momo everything he wanted, everything he _needed_ to say. Momo kept sitting there in silence, and Momiji wished she would give him a sign that he had a chance to talk, to explain more.

She didn't move, and her eyes were looking somewhere else, to a place far away where he couldn't follow. He had the feeling that it was the end. He lost his change to have a family again.

-"I'm sorry," he whispered. It seemed to him that he kept on begging for her forgiveness since the moment he told her the truth. The idea that he shouldn't be apologizing crossed his mind for a second, but he didn't pay attention to it.

His father had been right all along. He had to stay away from Momo or she would get hurt.

'_She can't even call me onii-chan now.'_ The thought stabbed him in one of the already open wounds._ 'I have to go.'_

Momiji stood up and left his half eaten dinner on the table. She didn't seem to notice.

With every step a part of him died. She was not calling him back. She didn't even try to stop him. The silence was worse than anything. He'd gladly face her anger or even her hatred rather than her indifference. It was like he was with his mother again: her eyes were looking at everything and nothing at once, anywhere but at him.

He went to his room and hastily stashed the few things that had been lying around in the room in his suitcase. He resolved to keep his mind off what just happened. If he gave it too much thought the last thread of his sanity would snap. Numbness was safer. He needed to take the time to think things through, but not right now. Later. Right at that moment the only safe way for him was the way out. He had to get out of that house.

He had to disappear from his sister's life. Again.

In the midst of his chaotic mind Momiji decided to leave a parting gift for Momo on his bedside table. It had really been his gift to himself, one that he bought full of hope that his Christmas wish would come true for once, even while his subconscious was aware all the time of the impossibility of it.

He dared to believe back then, and now, even as he closed his luggage and walked to the door, he still refused to let that tiny spark of hope die: something in her eyes told him that everything was going to be all right, that she only needed time to think things over. It was the only thing he could give her now, his last gift as her brother. He desperately wanted to believe that it could be the first instead.

Momo was nowhere in sight as he made his way to the door and stepped out of the house into the falling snow carrying his luggage. He didn't mind the snowflakes falling on him, or the chilly wind pinching his skin through his coat. As he walked away, his mind focused on getting to the airport somehow, he secretly kept on hoping to hear Momo's voice calling him back home, to her home, back to his family.

'_The rabbit is free of the curse now, but he's still sad because he can never go back to his family.'_

He smiled wistfully.

'_My home is not her home. It never was.'_


	30. Everything begins to make sense

Momo didn't know how long she sat there in silence. It took her a while to come to terms with the fact that she was not alone after all: she had an older brother. Better yet, she had an older brother who she had chosen with all her heart long before she learned the truth.

She had a million questions, of course, but she knew that she would always love her brother, regardless of the answers to them.

-"Onii-chan?" She looked around the dining room for Momiji, but he wasn't there. Before she came up with the idea of looking for him, she broke down in tears and giggles. Just saying the word produced an overwhelming feeling inside her. Her life-long dream had come true.

'I have a big brother.'

Her hand went to her eyes to wipe away the tears, laughing all the while out of real happiness for the first time in what felt like forever to her. When she opened her eyes again, she noticed Momiji's plate still on the table, in front of his empty seat. A horrible thought crossed her mind, and she got scared. She then remembered him telling her that he was sorry, and her reply that he had nothing to feel sorry about… or did she just think of saying the words?

'He said he wouldn't leave without telling me.'

She heard the front door open and close.

'That must be Grandma.'

Momo walked to the living room to meet the old lady, but when she got there she found it empty. The smile disappeared from her face as she ran to Momiji's bedroom, calling his name. He wasn't there.

His things were gone too, as she discovered when she opened the closet to find it empty. There was no trace of him.

'He's gone. He left without telling me.'

Her first impulse was to run after him, but on second thought, she decided to let him go. There was no point in following someone who wanted to leave. Besides, maybe it was for the best now. She needed to think.

'What can I say to him? What if I say something that I come to regret later? What if I hurt him with my words, with my questions?'

She knew that she was happy to have a brother, but she couldn't sort out her feelings about the whole situation: 'Why didn't anyone tell me before? Why did we have to grow up separated? Why didn't our parents ever talk about him? How could they forget..?'

She sat on the neatly made bed …his bed. She faintly recalled that Momiji's room back in Japan looked somewhat like this one. '…must be the furniture.'

Now that she knew about her brother, some other things finally started to make sense. She found that she understood her father a little better now: The longing in his eyes, the sadness all about him, the wistfulness in his voice, and lately, the idea of going back to Japan by himself 'to visit'.

'He wanted to see his son. He probably wanted to go to his graduation too, but the recital was on the same day.'

Her mother, however, was a puzzle to her, and she couldn't figure out what the missing piece was and where it fit.

'He is her first born, her child. How could she leave and move away from him? How could she bear to be separated from her son? Mama never looked sad, whereas Papa sometimes gave me this look… He missed Momiji, and I guess he saw a little of him in me.'

-"Momiji nii-san." She didn't get a chance to call him brother after he told her what she wanted, no, _demanded_ to know. Her hand went to her neck instinctively and gripped her rabbit charm to get some comfort from it. The glint of the bracelet in the dim light of the lamp next to her caught her attention and she admired once more the beautiful gift from her brother. The charm in her hand grew warm while she held it. Momo realized that it was the first time she touched it like that since the day Momiji arrived. She smiled.

-"Why would I need to hold you, when I had my big bunny brother to hold instead…" she trailed off. The smile disappeared from her face as she said the words. She got the feeling of falling suddenly into a pool of ice cold water. Momo looked at the moon and the rabbit hanging from the bracelet. Her eyes filled with tears as realization struck her. Once again, the answers to her questions had been given to her long ago in riddles. His words came back to her.

'Momiji is the rabbit.'

Everything made sense to her at last: His rabbit-like nature, his kindness, the longing in his eyes, his eternal sadness… She knew that deep down, her brother was always sad, and that he wanted to make people believe that he was happy so that nobody would worry about him. He had done it to protect her.

'He said that the rabbit is always sad because he can never go back to his family… Who made you believe that?' Her eyes filled with tears once again.

'Do you really believe that you don't have a family anymore? What about me? Don't you know that I need you? …that I need my brother?'


	31. In his place

It was later, alter she was done crying, that Momo noticed some papers on the bureau. She picked them up with hesitant hands and read the message written in Momiji´s rushed handwriting.

Tears filled her eyes once more. They were the tickets for the one-way flight to Japan. The passenger´s name was her own, with an open date for whenever she wanted to go. Momiji was letting the choice up to her: they could keep on living separated as they'd been until then, or…

"Momo?" It was Grandma's voice. Sure enough, the old lady was standing at the door a moment later.

Brigitta was scared. She'd left that afternoon to give the children the chance to talk, to give Momiji an opportunity to tell Momo the truth once and for all. She expected to go back to a house filled with laughter and happiness, but all she found was darkness and silence. Nobody had turned the lights on yet. She thought then that they had gone out for dinner instead of Momiji bringing it, but when she checked the kitchen she saw the food served and barely touched. That was when she called for Momo. She didn't get a reply, so she kept on looking in each room until she reached Momiji's.

There, on the bed, sat Momo with some papers in her hands. The lamp illuminated the room with a faint glow, giving it a sad atmosphere. Momo didn't seem to notice that she was being called. Grandma knew then that something was wrong. Dread filled her lungs and made her chest tighten.

-"Momo? What happened?" asked the woman quietly, but her voice betrayed her anxiety. She scanned the room with her eyes, looking for Momiji, and when she confirmed that he wasn't there her fear increased. The girl kept on sitting there, alone, in silence, apparently unaware of her presence.

-"Momo? Where's Momiji?" He couldn't…

-"He left", was Momo's choked answer. She didn't even raise her head, but her voice betrayed that she was crying.

-"What do you mean he left? Hasn't he come back since this morning? You know that he just went…" she started.

-"He went home… to Japan." Momo clarified sadly. Brigitta had to sit down next to Momo after hearing the news.

-"He left", she repeated mostly to herself. It was hard for her to accept the truth. It was even harder to hear Momo speaking about his "home." She had to remain calm so she could figure out the situation. "What happened? Why did he…"

-"You knew that he is my brother," Momo interrupted curtly. It wasn't a question, so Grandma didn't try to deny it. "That's the secret you've been hiding from me all this time! Why...?" There so many questions jamming inside Momo's head that she couldn't even ask then aloud, but Grandma understood.

-"So, he finally told you." Now she knew that whatever happened between Momo and Momiji had ended badly. She decided to act cautiously, because she felt that the girl was at a moment where the wrong words could harm her greatly. So, she decided to let her talk and tell her about it at her own pace, instead of asking her what she wanted to know. She had to remain calm for the sake of her grandchild, even while she was so scared herself.

"Yes, I knew, but I just found out about it too a few days ago." Grandma confessed.

-"You didn't know?" It had never occurred to Momo that Grandma didn't know either about Momiji. She was even more confused now. "Then, how did you find out? Didn't you know that he was born? You should have… I mean, I was told that you visited my parents when I was born, didn't you go there too when he…", she was unable to finish her question. Nothing made sense anymore.

-"I was told that he died at the time of his birth. I never saw my daughter's first child, since he was born two months before his due time. I met Momiji at your parent's funeral for the first time. As to how I found out, I just had to look at him once to get suspicious. After that, all I really had to do was ask", she explained. It didn't make sense to her now that she explained it to her grandchild. Now that she thought about it, she didn't even ask to see her grandson's grave back then or the baby's name, at the time when she visited her daughter in Japan. In a way, she'd forgotten him too. She had been so close to him then, and still… If only she'd known!

-"Why didn't you tell me as soon as you found out?" Momo interrupted her trail of thoughts once again. "You were going to let him walk away without letting me know! He's my brother! I had the right to know! He wouldn't tell me anything either until I asked him directly!" She then said something that Brigitta could only guess were curses in Japanese.

Grandma decided to ignore the outburst. After all, the girl was right. She felt guilty. She had left it up to Momiji to tell his sister about him, and now she realized that maybe she should've done something. She should've set things straight. After all, she was supposed to know better.

-"You asked him?" Momo nodded.

-"I knew that he was hiding something from me, so I asked him what it was that he didn't want me to know. He didn't want to tell me at first, but then I asked again, and he finally told me."

-"What did he say?"

-"He told me that he is my brother, but that I'll never believe it because I can't see the truth before my eyes, like Mama." Momo knew now that Momiji had been right. She had been so stupid! Why didn't she see it before, while everybody else did!

-"He said the same thing the day he moved from the hotel." Grandma's voice shook her out of her self-recriminating thoughts. "We were on our way to the house, and he asked if you suspected anything. I said that it didn't seem so to me, and then he commented about how it could be that you and your mother couldn't figure out the truth when it was so obvious to everyone else."

-"I asked Mama about it once, about the reason why he looked so much like her, but she denied it. Mama…", saying the word, Momo remembered something. "He called her 'Mother', in German, but he called our father 'Papa'", Momo finally faced Grandma when she said this, as if expecting an answer from her.

-"What do you mean, Momo?" It was something that she found strange. Momo was right. She had heard him calling her, "Mother", and once he even said "Mutti", but whenever he said the words, it was more like a title rather than a name.

-"He said, 'your Mama, my Mother'", Momo repeated. "Why?" Grandma recalled what Momiji had told her about his mother, and after a moment she answered what she already thought about it before.

-"The way he talks about her, the Mama from your memories is not the one he knew." It was sad to admit it, but she couldn't recognize Momiji's mother as being the same sweet, dedicated mom that she knew her daughter to be. It really was as if they were two different women.

-"He never talks much about his parents... He says that they were dead long ago, but you know that's not true. They…," Momo couldn't say aloud that they were dead. Not at that moment, when she was discovering a side of them that she never thought possible. "What did he tell you about them…? …about Mama?" Grandma could see the disappointment in the girl's eyes, and she felt grateful that it had been her instead of Momiji who got to see this.

-"He didn't tell me much, either. Apparently your mother couldn't handle a condition your brother was born with, so she rejected him and even got sick. Because of that, he was taken to the Main House and left there for others to raise him. I don't understand this story, and your brother wouldn't tell me all the details, but somehow, your mother forgot about him, recovered her health, and some time later, you were born." She had wanted to ask Momiji more about what happened exactly back then, but somehow, she felt that it wasn't wise to do it at that moment.

-"She forgot? How could she forget her own child? The way things were at home, it was as if he didn't exist. Nobody ever said a word about him! How could I ever know? And even if it's true that Mama forgot about him, what about Papa? How could they leave him and move here? Why?" She would've given anything to be able to ask her parents about it, but it was impossible now. Grandma should be able to explain it all to her, shouldn't she? After all, she was wiser, more experienced.

-"I don't know either," admitted the old lady. She kept trying to figure out the reasons why her daughter did what she did to her own child. As a mother, she couldn't understand it. Parents are supposed to love their children unconditionally. Whatever condition it was that her baby had been born with, that should've never changed her feelings for her son. There was no way now to get an explanation from her daughter, though, and the only other person who knew… "Your brother wouldn't talk much about it."

-"My brother", Momo was still getting used to the idea of having a real older brother. It seemed to her that she would never get tired of saying the words.

'…my brother.'

-"And your legal guardian, did he tell you that?" Grandma decided to change the subject. There was no point in trying to understand a situation they knew so little about. Besides, now that Momo had finally learned the truth, she needed to make some decisions. They better be the right ones, for both children's sakes.

-"He's my guardian?" the girl thought about it before she responded. "He said that he is in charge of the family businesses and my inheritance, but he never mentioned that."

-"He just found out this morning when your cousin called. Apparently, your father arranged for him to have the custody of you. He can take you to Japan with him if he wants to. Besides, even before that, I agreed with Momiji that it is the best for you to be with your brother." Momiji had told her just that morning, while they ate breakfast. He didn't have a chance to tell Momo yet.

-"He doesn't seem to think so now…", Momo trailed off. Grandma decided not to say a word about that. She thought about what she had just been told. "It makes sense that he is my guardian. It means that Papa wanted me to be with my brother, after all." She smiled sadly, thinking about her father taking care of such a thing. "…but… how did he think that they were going to explain it to me if I kept on believing that Momiji was just a cousin? Why didn't anybody tell me?"

-"Momo, your brother was going to tell you the night you two went out, but when you came back he said that he didn't want to break the good image that you have of your parents, so he chose not to let you know about him yet."

-"He was talking about that when he asked…," the girl remembered that 'rhetorical' question at the restaurant, the one that she didn't take seriously at that time. A riddle! Just another riddle, like everything else! "But… that's no reason to hide something as important as this from me. He should've told me!"

-"He was scared." Grandma remembered how much like a lost child he looked that night, sleeping on her lap and still holding one of those crystal angels in his hand. Now that she'd had the time to analyze what he'd said back then, it seemed to her like he'd been trying to get some comfort from the little angel. After all, it was a part of his memories, a familiar object in this strange place.

-"Scared? Of me?" 'What's Grandma talking about?' How could he be scared of his younger sister? It wasn't like she'd hurt him intentionally.

-"He was scared of your reaction, dear, of what you'd say. Grandma wanted her to understand what she was trying to tell her, so she decided for another approach. "After all, he was a child who was rejected, denied, erased. How would you feel in his place?" She allowed the girl some time to ponder that situation.

-"Me? In his place?" Momo closed her eyes and tried to imagine her brother living the life she'd had, growing up in a home, being spoiled, pampered and cherished by his mom and dad, having a happy life. She then tried to picture herself living what little she knew about Momiji's life: living alone, being raised by relatives and servants, being left behind, forgotten… His words came back to her at that moment. He talked about wanting to be with his family, but not being allowed to. If the rabbit's story from Christmas morning was really Momiji's instead, then his own father asked him to stay away. Papa told her that a rabbit followed her because he wanted to be with her, but couldn't. It made sense now that she remembered all the times that she saw Momiji following her, watching her from afar. She thought back then that those were just coincidences, but now she realized that maybe he just wanted to see her… but didn't dare to get any closer. Anger ran through her for a second, thinking about the unfairness of it all, and how helpless and alone she would've felt in his place.

"If it had been the other way around… then he would be the one sitting here with you, and I…I don't know if I would've come here at all. What for? Why would I want to come to my parents' funeral?"

-"He came here for you", Grandma reminded her.

-"He wanted me to go back to Japan with him. He offered me his house there. He said that we could live together as brother and sister. I didn't think much of the words, but he really meant it!" Momo kept on looking for some kind of answer, a sign on her Grandma's face. As she told her about it, and trying to look at the situation through her brother's eyes, the guilt grew inside her.

-"I think that the offer goes beyond living in the same house. The way I see it, he wants you to take him into your family." Momiji never said anything like that, but somehow, she knew it in her heart to be true, she could feel it.

-"He is my brother! He didn't even have to ask." The certainty in Momo's voice told Brigitta that she had finally acknowledged Momiji as her brother without a doubt. She smiled. The girl just needed a little encouragement to make a decision. She was going to miss them so much!

-"Maybe he needs to hear it from you. He can give you the world if you ask him, but he needs you to give him a home." Grandma's voice had a calming effect on Momo, and her head started to cool off as she began to make sense of the situation.

-"The home that I took away from him? I didn't know, but... do you think that he resents me for that?" Momo was thinking again about how she would feel if the situation had been the other way around. 'Would I be mad at my brother for having everything I didn't?'

-"I asked him the same thing." The old lady's comment caught the girl's attention. She wasn't expecting an answer. Momo was afraid to ask, but…

-"What did he say?", Momo dreaded the answer, and her voice betrayed her emotions. Momiji didn't answer the question then, so Grandma didn't know either. It didn't seem to her like he held what had happened against his sister, but…

-"What do you think he said?", she asked instead.

-"I don't know. I just found out that I have a brother, and I love him, but somehow I feel like he's a stranger." The more they talked about him, the more she realized just how little she knew about him.

-"Think about it, Momo. His sister, his father and mother are strangers to him too in many ways. You two just began to know each other these past few days." Momo looked at the plane tickets, thinking back to every little thing that had happened during 'those past few days.' They really had started to know each other since he came to Germany, because they never had a chance before. 'Just a few days… I want more than that.'

Brigitta noticed the papers in her hands. "What are those?"

-"These are my plane tickets." Momo held them out for the old lady to take. After she took them, Momo hugged her knees to her chest and rested her head on top of them. "He got those tickets for me. Grandma, he was still hoping that I would go with him, even after he knew of my decision to stay. He was waiting for me to change my mind at the last minute! I didn't know…" Her voice broke again.

-"What will you do?" Grandma's question was the same one Momo had been making herself since she first saw the tickets. Just a few hours ago, she had been sure that her staying in Germany was the best choice, but now…

-"I… What should I do? I want to go with him, but… what if he later regrets taking me in, what if I become a burden to him…?" It was the first time that she confessed her fears to anyone.

-"Is that the reason why you're staying? Did you tell him that?" Momo denied it with her head, and then rested her forehead on her knees, hiding her face from Grandma. Brigitta smiled. How was it possible that they had so much in common, when they had grown up apart? They shared the same love, as well as their concern for each other's happiness.

-"You two are so much alike!," she sighed. "You blame your brother for not telling you the truth about who he is, but you're hiding your reasons for staying from him. You ended up hurting each other while trying to spare the other from suffering."

Momo smiled sadly. Grandma was right. That was the root of all this mess, wasn't it? After all, she and her brother were just a couple of kids hurting each other without meaning to, by making good intentioned mistakes.

-"You think that we'll be able to work it out? This whole mess we're in, I mean. Do you think that I can go to him after all that's happened, and that we can be happy together?" Momo wanted to be with Momiji. There had to be a way for them to finally become brother and sister in every way. She was hoping with all her heart for Grandma to tell her that everything would be fine, that they could have a happy ending…

-"That, my dear, is up to you. You have to evaluate if it's worth it rather than the risks involved." It wasn't what Momo expected to hear, but she knew that it was the right answer. It was up to her now to finish what Momiji had started, and close the distance between her and her brother once and for all. However…

-"I'm scared. I don't want to leave this house, my friends… If I go, I won't see you again in a long time!" The girl hugged the old lady in a sudden movement, and Grandma reciprocated the gesture with a hug of her own. Momo had the power to heal her brother's heart. She had so much love to give, while he craved to be loved and accepted.

-"Your home is where your brother is," she whispered more to herself than to the girl now resting on her lap. She started to caress her hair as she offered: "I'll visit you as often as you want me to." Then, she encouraged, "Give Momiji a chance. If you don't, you might regret it for the rest of your life. Besides, you can always come back here whenever you want."

-"I know." This was her home too, after all. They sat there for a while, each of them immersed in their own thoughts. There was much to be done, so many things to prepare, so many changes ahead of them! Excitement began to run through Momo in a warm current of hope and contentment. She had an older brother to care of her and to protect her, and not because of that custody thing, but because he loved her.

Grandma was the first to break the silence.

-"Don't you have Momiji's number? We need to call him now, before he leaves." Brigitta needed to stop him, to make him come back. He had to know about his sister's decision.

-"I…," Momo started. She wanted to see him, but she wasn't ready yet. She somehow knew that they both needed time to sort out their feelings, to...

-"What is it, Momo?" Grandma inquired.

-"I'd rather not call him just now. I… We need time to think things through, to forgive each other…"

-"Forgive?" Brigitta was shocked. The girl nodded. "What for?", the lady asked.

-"…for having so little faith in each other. We should've known better than that."


	32. Irony

Nobody running after him, calling his name under the falling snow, out of breath and without a coat in the rush of the moment. It was a funny idea, and he thought that he had seen that happen in some foreign movie once. The girl had been half dressed, with only a sweater on. What was the name of it? It didn't matter, really. Like that's ever going to happen in real life!

No phone call asking him to go back, wanting to know where he was as he walked alone in the streets of a strange city. Had he ever given Momo or Grandma his number? He had planned to do it, but he wasn't sure.

Nobody trying to stop the taxi taking him to the airport hours later, when the cold finally got to him and his fingers started to freeze and hurt. He usually didn't mind the cold, but he had been out for long. Momiji only noticed the time when he realized that it took him a while to find a taxi because nobody expects to find someone walking in the street under the falling snow. People don't wander around at night in winter. He didn't even recognize where he was anymore.

Nobody coming to the airport, looking for him desperately among the people walking by. In movies, airports are always crowded, he noticed. He figured that it was so that the viewer can get the full dramatic effect of the scene, the angst of it. He got the angst already. When was he getting to the happy ending?

Nobody catching up with him as he changed his ticket for an earlier flight. He was sure that he had seen it happening in more than one of those romantic movies he'd seen on TV. Not that he was expecting to hear the love confession that always followed… He had to pay a small fortune for wanting to leave half a day earlier, though. 'Why this, of all things, had to be true?' The irony of the situation escaped him. He had laughed about it at the theater. He couldn't care less now.

No phone call as he waited for his flight to be announced, or even as he absentmindedly leafed through the pages of his passport. He had a Japanese passport. He was a Japanese citizen. Up to that moment it never occurred to him to find out if he was considered a German citizen also because of his mother… Not that it mattered. It was just curiosity.

No crying scene at the waiting room, as he got ready to board the plane. Again, those corny monologues where the main character confesses her undying love came to his mind, as well as the sappy scenes where the girl realizes that the man saying goodbye is the one she has loved all along. He smiled bitterly. 'It didn't happen the day Tohru left…'

No last minute passenger beside him. This time he thought that he had seen it happening in a TV show… or was it? In fact, the seat beside him stayed empty the whole time. 'It has to be, since it was meant for Momo', he thought with a flinch.

Nobody boarding the plane, followed by security guards trying to stop her, calling out his name and asking him to stay. That one he knew for sure was completely out of the question, airport security being as tight as it was nowadays… It didn't stop him from hoping, though.

No phone call, or even a message as he turned off his mobile phone at the last possible moment before the plane lifted off. 'Didn't I give them the number? Is this thing broken or something? Have they even tried to call?'

Nobody ordering the plane back because someone had to stop him from leaving. He recalled the scene clearly. The girl had talked the airport controllers into it by saying that the love of her life was in that plane, and that if it took off she was going to loose him forever. Where did that story take place? Italy? Or was it another one? Yes, it was another one for sure. In this one they just had to open the door of the plane for her, or did she had to jump in because they were pulling the tunnel apart?

He tried to take his mind away from Germany as the distance between he and his family grew. Before he realized, he was getting a taxi to his house. How many times had he changed planes? Though he was able to reschedule his flight in Germany, because of the holidays he had spent hours sitting in waiting rooms. He called Ritsu to let him know that he was going to be late because of a snow storm in… where was it? Anyway, Tohru had to know so she didn't go to the airport to pick him up. At least he was going to be spared from having to see her with 'him' in the state of mind he was at that moment.

'Tohru…' He had to stop thinking about her.

All that time alone with himself presented the opportunity to think things over, to organize his thoughts. He planned carefully what he had to do as soon as he arrived to Japan. He had people to see, a company to take care of, a family waiting for him, his brother-partner Ritsu and Tohru…

Everything took him back to Tohru. Tohru and 'him'. He knew that he would have to act happy for her as a friend, but in the privacy of his mind, the friend stepped aside and the man took over.

'What am I going to do? What if I say something that I regret later? I've seen them together before, but now it's different. Now they are a couple. What if they hold hands? What if they kiss..? No! No, no, no… I can't stand the idea! I don't want to see them! How long am I going to be able to avoid them? What if she wants to tell me all the details about how they finally got together? Me, her best friend! She knows now how I feel about her. How am I going to face her after that? Will we still be friends now that she's with K… No! I can't even say his name… Tohru… why did you have to choose him? Why didn't you see me? I was there too all the time.'

"Tohru…"

Nobody waiting for him as he opened the door and stepped into his house. A silent house. An empty house. A cold house. A house that never felt like a home. When he left, he had expected to bring back his sister, to fill this house with a family. Wasn't that what transformed silent, empty houses into homes?

Nobody yelling "surprise" when he turned on the lights. Then again, in movies, it only happened on birthday parties. Why did he think about that?

No million messages in the answering machine. Not even one. Now he knew for sure that he never gave Momo and Grandma his numbers. 'Should I call them? Grandma must be worried. I didn't even say goodbye…'

He was aware of the fact that he never considered going back or calling them. He had been expecting them to look for him or to call him first. He was being selfish and stubborn, but he wasn't giving in. He was tired of reaching out for his familiy, of following them around. He had even traveled halfway across the world to go to his sister and grandmother. He knew that they were innocent, that they didn't know about him, that he shouldn't expect them to make it up to him for the past. Despite all that, this time he wanted them to go to him. He was never reaching out for them again, even if it meant living alone in this empty house surrounded by the coldness of silence.

Nobody. Nothing. Only emptiness.


	33. Tohru

It wasn't until the middle of January when Tohru had the opportunity to talk to Momiji. She knew that he had been avoiding her all that time, but she missed him terribly. He managed to work out of the office almost every day, and whenever he was there, his visits were brief. She discarded the idea of visiting him, reasoning that if he was going through the trouble of keeping himself away from her, the least she could do was to respect his decision. That didn't mean, though, that she stopped worrying or wanting to see him. That was the reason why that afternoon, when Ritsu's assistant told her that Momiji was in the conference room in a meeting, she took off quickly to catch him before he left. She gave a quick glance at her wrist watch before heading out of her new office.

Ritsu stayed in the room talking with the new client they just got, while Momiji excused himself with the pretext of handing the paperwork to his secretary. She decided to wait until he was in his office to talk to him. It was a good thing that Momiji didn't see her on his way out and that Ritsu didn't see her coming either, otherwise, she was sure that he'd have asked her to escort their visitor out. He'd been doing that kind of thing a lot recently. Whenever there was a chance for her to see Momiji, Ritsu always found a way to keep her away from him. She knew that those tricks were to protect Momiji from getting hurt by her. Not that he believed that she'd do it intentionally, of course, but just in case… He never mentioned anything to her, though, except on her first day back to work, when Tohru asked him if he thought that Momiji had feelings for her other than friendship.

The sympathetic look in his eyes told her everything: he'd known all along and found it hard to believe that she never noticed it before.

She checked the time. Ten minutes had passed. She guessed that Momiji was already in his office, so she headed there.

She'd been thinking about what happened at the airport all the way back from Germany and each and every day since then. Momiji told her to forget it, but she couldn't. How could she have been so blind! She was his best friend, the one person in the whole world who knew him better than anyone! Or so she had thought…

When she told Mayu, she learned that everybody else knew about it too, and were surprised that she had yet to figure it out.

In the light of this discovery, years of unconditional friendship, support and understanding on his part took a whole new meaning for her.

The office was open when she got there. He was standing with his back to the door, so that when he heard her knocking he had to turn around to see her. The first thing she noticed as soon as she saw him was that he looked older. The boyish appearance was gone, and somehow she knew in her heart that the Momiji from her past was gone forever. Maybe it was because it was 5 pm, and he surely had a hard day, or because of the dark gray suit, but she sensed that it was something else that had changed inside of him.

-"Hi." He smiled briefly, hesitant. "It's good to see you again." She noticed that he made no attempt to move from his place to hug her like he used to, and she found it strange. He also remained silent after that short greeting.

He was calm, but she sensed that he was being cautious around her. He looked serious, not his usual cheerful self.

-"Hi!" She stepped forward and hugged him like before, but she quickly ended it when she noticed that he was not hugging her back. When she pulled apart just enough to see his face, she felt hurt when he averted his eyes. He was avoiding her still.

-"Momiji", she called his name in a whisper. He looked at her, silent.

She was used to him openly expressing his happiness to see her every time they met. No matter how tired, stressed or busy he may be, he always had a smile and a hug for her. This time, however, he'd given her neither. The smile had disappeared from his lips, so that his face finally matched the sadness in his eyes. Tohru felt her heart wrench.

So this was the real Momiji. No more masks, no more fake happiness, and now that there was nothing else disguising them, she could finally see his feelings for her clearly: a love so intense that it pained him to see her.

She didn't see his love for her growing through the years as he became a man. In her mind, he had always been the sweet boy from the day they met: the same boy who cried on her shoulder when he told her about his family.

This new Momiji was a stranger. How was it possible that he had changed so much in front of her eyes without her looking?

'I gave up on that feeling a long time ago when I realized that it would always be one-sided, but I will never give up on you. We will always be best friends, right?', his words from that day kept replaying themselves in her mind.

He had been right: Momiji was and would always be her best friend. She knew that he was hurt, and that it was partly because of her, but at that moment, her best friend needed her more than ever. He didn't have to say it. Tohru gathered the courage to speak to him again, opting for focusing on his relationship with Momo as a brother instead. They needed to talk about his feelings for her too, but that was not the time.

-"Momiji, tell me, what happened?" Confusion crossed his eyes for a second, and then he understood the question. It took him a split second to answer.

-"You mean in Germany?" Tohru nodded. "Nothing happened", he said. "Everything is the way it was always supposed to be. You have nothing to worry about." He told her, as if dismissing the topic, though he didn't try to smile for her as he would've in the past. Momiji walked to his chair behind the desk, and then he made a gesture for her to take a seat on one of the chairs across from him. Once she was seated, he went back to sorting out the papers from the meeting. Tohru took his silence as permission to talk to him while he worked. It was something they used to do, so she didn't feel ignored because he wasn't looking at her. She knew that he was listening.

-"I know that Momo is not with you. I can see that you're hurt, and I want to help. If you just let me…" she tried to explain. Momiji interrupted her as if he didn't hear what she was saying. He probably didn't.

-"This visit made me realize that I have to let go of them… all of them" he clarified. "My parents died, and my sister… Momo-chan…" he corrected, "It's hard to explain. The more I get to know her, the more I realize how different we are. We're two strangers." He was forcing his voice to sound casual, as if he was talking about the weather, but she knew better. He was letting out everything he'd been thinking about since he got back to Japan. Tohru knew that he wanted her to listen, and that it was enough for him to have her there with him. However, this time she decided to make him see the situation the way she saw it from the outside.

-"You already knew that before we went to Germany. That's the one reason why you have to stick together, Momo and you. Not because you know each other perfectly, or because you are the same, but because you love each other enough to overcome together whatever comes to you. You've always cared about her. Did your feelings change after this trip?" She knew the answer already, but she wanted Momiji to say it aloud.

-"No," he responded without needing to think it over. He lifted his head to answer, and then went back to his work. He had been missing these conversations with Tohru so much! She was like her conscience, always knowing what he needed to hear. Just her voice had a soothing effect on his soul. He just couldn't face her right now. He feared that if he saw into her eyes for too long he would end up doing something that would spoil their friendship forever. It had become harder for him to control his impulses and keep in check his words now that she knew the truth about his feelings.

-"So, when is Momo coming?" Another question she already knew the answer for.

-"I don't think that she's coming. I left her the tickets, but as you said, she isn't here, right? It's been almost a month…", another casual comment. Tohru was having a hard time getting used to this new Momiji. He was the opposite of the boy she knew and cared for. Instead of fake happiness, he was trying to make her believe that everything was fine, that whatever happened with his sister didn't matter anymore.

-"You left her the tickets? Why did you do that, if you've already given up on her?" Honestly, who was he trying to fool? She knew him better than anyone! At least that's what she used to think until recently. Guess he kept some secrets to himself after all.

-"Maybe I want her to prove me wrong," he said, though mostly to himself. Tohru checked the time again.

-"Trust her. I think she will." He looked at her for the first time, really looked at her. She was smiling sweetly at him, like she knew something he didn't. He was about to ask her something, but she beat him to it.

-"How is it that a business man as determined as you are can give up on the most important things in his life? Why don't you fight for what you want? Is it because it is much easier to let the choices up to others to take so that you can blame your unhappiness on them?" She allowed a minute for the barb to sink in.

-"Is that what you think that I'm doing?" He looked shocked, almost hurt.

-"This separation you forced upon both of us gave me plenty of time to think things over. You've given up on all the people you claim to love. If you can do that so easily, then it must mean that they don't mean that much to you after all. It's sad… You make the decisions about other's feelings on your own, just like…"

-"Just like my father." He finished for her.He realized that she was accusing him, and what was worse, he had to agree with her about him giving up on people. She didn't understand, though, what he'd been through, what it'd been like for him. "You don't know…"

-"Neither does Momo, or did you tell her?" When they talked on the phone after he left Germany, Momo and Tohru had a long conversation about Momiji. She shared Momo's feelings. How was she ever expected to understand a situation that she knew nothing about?

Momiji was signing a high pile of papers that he'd been given on his way to his office. "I told her the truth, but I guess you already knew that. After that, we didn't really talk that much."

-"It's been a long day. Why don't you go home? You look tired." He really did, but the real reason why she wanted him to go home was another one entirely. Tohru checked her watch for the millionth time that afternoon. He better got on his way soon or else…

-"I can't. Ritsu wants to talk about our meeting today and get a couple more things done before we leave, but you're right. I am tired. I'll leave as soon as we're done." The prospect of staying until whatever time they were done working didn't appeal to Momiji in the least.

-"Why don't you pack everything up and finish those papers at home? I left a message for him to catch up with you and leave early. He must be waiting for you." Momiji looked at her again, trying to read between the lines. Why was she in such a hurry to make him leave?

-"Ok, I'm taking all this paperwork 'home' and I can bring them tomorrow, all done." Tohru didn't miss the subtle hint of bitterness when he emphasized the word. That was something new also. "Is there anything that I should know, Tohru-chan? Anything you need to tell me?" Even as he kept talking, he was already packing up for the day. Tohru got up and got his coat for him.

-"As you said, there's nothing you should worry about." She helped him putting the black coat on, and then turned around to help him with the buttons. It was another thing that she always used to do, the only difference was that this time she didn't look up at him even once. That was all that Momiji needed to know that she was really hiding something from him. "Tohru, what…"

-"Momiji, you know that I want you to be happy, don't you?" Momiji nodded. "Well, trust me on this: you are entitled to be happy." She lifted her head so that Momiji could read on her face the sincerity of her words. Tohru decided to ignore the confusion that suddenly invaded his eyes. "It's just… you see, sometimes I feel like you don't believe that you deserve it." He tried to say something, but she kept on. "What I said earlier… about you having to fight for what you want… Sometimes you don't have to fight at all. The only thing you need to do is say what you feel, and ask for what you want. Think about it, will you?" Momiji kept silent for a moment before he finally answered.

-"Sometimes the only way to love someone is to support her as she finds happiness freely, even if you have to let go of her." He was looking at her the same way he'd done it at the airport. Tohru suddenly got nervous. Guess 'later' was sooner than she expected.

-"People can make better decisions if only they know all the facts. At least that way you won't have to wonder the rest of your life what it could've been like if only…" She wanted to make him understand her feelings. She knew that she'd be making herself that same question for the rest of her life. Not that she doubted her feelings for Kyou, but…

He picked up his laptop case, put in a couple of folders with the papers that he was supposed to read and sign that night and then hung it on his shoulder. Momiji gazed into Tohru's eyes for a whole minute. She stood there, frozen.

-"Even if you say it, the truth won't change anybody's feelings." He bent down a little and, after a slight hesitation, placed a quick kiss on her cheek before he reached the door and walked away.

Tohru checked that he had effectively left for the day before she picked up her mobile and pressed the redial button. Someone answered her call before the phone rang for the second time.

-"He's on his way."


	34. A home for us

Momiji stopped as soon as he saw Momo waiting at his door. He'd been so distracted as he walked that it didn't occur to him to raise his eyes from the ground until they were in front of his house, and even so, he did it only because he noticed that his cousin was staring at something, or rather someone, up ahead.

-"You're here…" Momiji didn't know what to say. He never thought that he would see her ever again. After that day when he left Germany, he had the feeling that he had lost any chance he might ever had of a relationship with his sister. He secretly kept on hoping for a turn of events though, a surprise, but the sight of his sister there, at his house, shocked him beyond coherent thought or speech.

-"Tadaima!!" Momo waved a gloved hand at both of them shyly. Her stomach contracted into a knot at the sight of the two people in front of her. They were about 5 meters away from her, close enough a distance to hear clearly whatever they happened to say.

Both men wore black coats over tailored gray suits, and each of them had a laptop hanging from one shoulder. The one who she guessed was Ritsu stopped by her brother's left, a packed dinner in his hands. Recognition flashed in his eyes as soon as he saw her, and then he relaxed his shoulders and smiled at Momo. Ritsu's girlish face that she remembered was gone and now she had an extraordinarily handsome man staring at her expectantly. It amazed her that he somehow managed to look confident, imposing and even fresh off the shower at 6:30 pm on a work day.

-"Ritsu-kun?" she asked. The other man nodded with an amused smile on his lips. He handed the food to Momiji, who took it, still speechless, and kept on standing on the same spot. Ritsu then approached Momo, and after a little hesitant pause that she almost missed, hugged the girl shyly. "Okaeri", he whispered in her ear.

-"Thank you for bringing Momiji. Could you…" she started apologetically, in broken Japanese. She felt terrible about dismissing her cousin, despite the fact that they arranged together all the details of this meeting that morning.

She liked Ritsu since they talked on the phone days ago. His soothing voice and his gentle words had a way of easing her worries away in a way that she was sure that he wasn't aware of. He didn't comment on her lacking Japanese vocabulary, or the way she struggled to put the words together. She could tell that he was just as polite, kind and considerate as Momiji. When he hugged her she sensed that he cared about her, even after the years that she'd been away.

-"No problem, Momo-chan!" he answered. "I just came by to make the deliveries." She smiled at him for a brief moment when he stood once again in front of her before turning around and walking back the way he had come with that elegant gait so similar to Momiji's.

She focused her whole attention on her brother. He was watching the waving figure of his retreating cousin, apparently at a loss of what to do. Momiji looked totally different from the boy who had left Germany a month ago. He turned around to face her. The man who stood in front of her seemed like the older version of himself: as if he had lived years while only a month had passed for the rest of the world. Contrary to Ritsu, Momiji seemed completely worn out, almost ready to slump onto bed and sleep the rest of the day off until next morning. She inwardly flinched at the thought of him not taking proper care of himself. She couldn't see well because of the coat, but she could almost bet he had lost weight. Despite all that, he looked just as handsome as the last day she saw him. He held her gaze steady, expectantly, unsure of what to do. He decided to let her make the first move, all the while trying to ignore the deafening thumps of his heart in his ears.

This was the moment she had planned and rehearsed in her mind for almost a month.

-"You never told me the rest of the story", she started to say in German as soon as she figured that Ritsu was out of hearing range. She didn't sound like she was angry, so Momiji took it as a good sign. He started to walk to her slowly. Once he stood next to her she noticed that he'd grown a couple of inches since she last time she saw him.

-"What story?", he asked cautiously in Japanese. He didn't have a clue of what she was talking about. Momiji opened the door, and then asked Momo with a gesture to go in. Somehow, she understood that he wanted to talk to her alone, in a place where they could say everything they needed to say without anyone else overhearing or running into them. She entered the house before him. If possible, it was colder inside than outdoors. It wasn't just the temperature, but something else she couldn't identify.

Momiji showed her to the living room, and then told her something about having to have dinner before it got cold. He dropped the laptop on a couch, hung his coat to dry, and then left to another room. Momo took off her coat too, and since she could hear him nearby, she decided to continue with the conversation.

-"The story that you made up for Christmas", Momo started again, following him into the kitchen. He was standing facing away from her, turning the heater on. The blazer he'd been wearing rested on the back of a chair, so that he only had a vest over his white shirt. She was right. He looked thinner. "You see, what the rabbit didn't realize was that the girl loved him. She loved him very much." He dropped his hands and kept standing there while she spoke. "She would see him sometimes following her around, looking at her silently. When she found out the truth about him, she felt betrayed." It was awkward talking to his back, but he made no move, so she went on. "It hurt to realize that he didn't consider her strong enough to accept and understand the truth about who he really was. He never said a word to her about it before, and when he did he didn't give her the chance to tell him how she felt about it… to tell him that she would rather face with him whatever happened. She didn't want a bunny on the moon watching over her. She wanted a brother to hug and to stand by her side, where she needed him the most."

-"Momo-chan…" He only said her name, but didn't try to answer. Instead, he took out two plates from one of the cabinets and two forks from one of the drawers. She waited patiently while he took dinner to the dining room and set the table for two.

He was completely calm, though he was aware of the fact that he should've been terrified. It was just… having Momo there, in his house, made a whole world of a difference. Even the simple action of setting the table _for two _made his heart and the atmosphere inside the house warm up faster than the artificial heating he had just turned on. His house was slowly feeling like a home because _his sister _was there. She had come to see him, and she'd said that she loved him. It was an overwhelming feeling, and so far he'd been unable to sort out his emotions enough to let them show on his face.

He had known that Momo would feel betrayed after she learned the truth. He also had the feeling that everything was going to be sorted out for good that night, but he wanted Momo to relax before he could give her an answer. She seemed to have gotten the hint. Momo followed him to the dining room, carrying two canned sodas and the rest of the dinner in her hands. They finally sat down in front of each other and Momiji began to eat after she started. Then they exchanged a few sentences about her flight, but she didn't say where her luggage was. Momiji was told that both Ritsu and Tohru had been involved in the 'surprise', and he replied that he kind of knew since Tohru had been acting strange that day when he saw her. When they were almost through their food, she picked up on their previous conversation.

-"What's it going to be, Momiji?" She'd been purposely using his name instead of any other word whenever she addressed him. She finally felt at ease, and she had had the chance to think carefully the words she wanted to say. "Are the rabbit and the girl going to stay separated forever, or will he give his sister a chance? Our parents kept you away from me, they took me away from you, and now you ran away from me… Don't you think that I have a say in this? What about what I want?" She waited for his answer, the food forgotten, even as she still held the fork in her hand.

-"I told you before: the rabbit…", he took a deep breath, and decided to stop talking in riddles. It was pointless now. "…I …I can't go back to my family. There is no place for me to go back to, and even if I tried, I'd hurt you." He explained. The way he said the words felt to her as if he was talking to the girl who'd left that same house six years before. As much as that made her upset, she knew that he really believed that he was saying the truth. She had to make him understand how wrong he was.

-"Well, guess what? You don't need to worry about that anymore because you already did! You hurt me because you lied to me!" She wanted to be mad at him, but for some reason she couldn't. The only word that she could think of to describe her feelings at that moment was... disappointment.

-"Momo, you don't understand…" Momiji started.

-"Of course I don't! Nobody ever told me anything!" Frustration tinged each and every word she said. "How am I supposed to understand something that I know nothing about! I don't know why our parents did what they did to us, but it doesn't matter anymore. What matters to me now is that you'd rather stay away from me than taking the risk of telling me the truth. Are you really that scared or is it that you don't care about me after all?" She regretted what she said as soon as she saw Momiji's reaction to her words.

-"How can you say that?" He stood up abruptly. He knew that he was losing control, but he didn't care. "You know nothing about me! How can you talk to me about others making decisions for you! At least now you know how I've felt all these years!" Momo followed him with her eyes now looking up at him. He was seething, and for once in a long time, he was yelling at someone. Of all the things she could've said, those words were the ones he least expected to hear. Anger and hurt showed freely on his face.

So this was what he meant when he told her about a dark side of him that he didn't dare to show anyone.

-"Momiji…" –Momo was really shocked at that moment. All the masks Momiji always wore disappeared and what she saw scared her. He was angry, and she didn't know what to say anymore. Her plan backfired. All the times she planned out this conversation she never considered that he could be as mad at the situation as she was.

-"I begged, Momo. I begged to your father and mother! They never gave me a chance! It is true that it all started because of me, but it wasn't my fault! I didn't ask to be born that way! While you were blissfully ignorant of the situation, I had to live everyday with the whole weight of it! This stupid arrangement was their idea! I didn't want to be forgotten, but they threw me away!! Then you came, and they gave you everything that I could only dream of! You had the home, the family, the love that I…" His anger overpowered his ability to form coherent sentences. He clenched his fists and started to breathe deeply to try to regain control over his emotions. He had just screamed out thoughts and feelings that he never dared to share with anyone before. "…and now you come here blaming me of being unfair…" The volume of his voice decreased with every word.

-"I… Do you… do you hate me?" –she whispered. She needed to know. It was a thought that had been in her mind since the day he left, when she pictured herself in Momiji's place. He shook his head forcefully.

-"How could I ever hate you? You are my little sister. I've loved you since before you were born." She knew right then and there that he was saying the truth, and it comforted her to know of his feelings for her. She waited until he was calm again. They needed to talk, and it couldn't wait anymore. They'd lost many years. They were setting everything straight that night.

-"You could have trusted me a little more", she finally said after a long pause during which Momiji calmed down, though he didn't sit down again. Her words held no reproach at all, but rather an explanation.

-"I didn't want to hurt you, but it seems that I keep doing that, regardless of my good intentions." His anger about it was directed at himself. His voice was as back to normal as it would get considering the topic of conversation, but she detected the hint of an apology in the way he said the words.

-"Cut it. You see? That is the problem with you: you worry too much." He snapped his head down to see her, confusion all over his face. "Look, I'm sorry if I didn't react the way you were expecting me to when you told me who you are, but the truth is that I didn't know what to do. I was shocked!" she made a pause. "I need to tell you something, so please let me finish before you say anything else."

Momiji nodded and waited for her to continue, holding her gaze as she spoke.

-"So, you're my brother. There. I've said it. Take a good look at me. I've said it and I'm not dead, or hurt, or insane. Sure, I was shocked back then, but honestly, what did you expect? It's not every day that you find out that you have a brother and that your parents have been keeping you and him apart for all of your life." Momo managed to make her voice sound more confident than she felt at that moment. Truth be told, she was scared to death. This was it.

-"You don't know the reasons for that, what it was like…" he started to explain.

-"You're right." She continued before she lost her nerve. "It's true that I'll never know what it was like for you all these years, but I'm tired of everyone around hiding things from me 'for my own good' and 'to protect me'." Her voice carried a peace offering implied that Momiji sensed immediately. He noticed that she was making a pause, as if gathering the courage for what she needed to say next. "You know why I came all the way here?" Momiji shook his head.

-"Grandma told me about that custody thing. The way I see it, I've become your responsibility. You are supposed to take care of me and to protect me. I came here to make sure that you fulfill your duty, either as my guardian or as my brother. It's up to you." For the first time that night she was smiling wholeheartedly. Once she said the words, her fear disappeared. She really saw the situation that way, but above all, she thought that it was funny the way her brother was trapped now. He had no way of backing off, and she had every intention of making the best out of it.

Momiji smiled bitterly. "I guess that was Papa's idea of making it up to me for everything. Only after his death he finally gave me what I wanted." He recalled the many times he had asked to see Momo, ever since the day she was born, and how he had always been denied the chance.

Momo was shocked. "You asked Papa for it?" She didn't think that her father and brother ever took the time to come to an agreement about it. She rather believed that Papa had imposed what he thought best for both his children without letting them know… again.

-"Not exactly", Momiji explained, confirming her belief. "I didn't know about him arranging that I'd become your guardian until after his death. Not that I mind, of course!" He finally smiled at her. "What I asked him for was to have the chance to get close to you, even if I could never tell you who I am."

-"And he never let you? Why?" She knew that Momiji always wanted to get close to her. He'd seen him following her around when she was a child, staying late after violin lessons to see her, 'running into her' once after school to walk her home. Why did he have to go through that much trouble? Why wasn't he allowed to see her?

-"He said that the truth was better left unknown." Bitterness dripped from every word.

-"So he decided for the both of us and he kept us apart. It doesn't make sense. What could've you done that could hurt me?" That was the root of it all, wasn't it? His father… _their father_ was scared of what his son could do to his daughter.

-"You'll never believe it." Momiji sighed. He knew that he was the only one left who could explain everything to Momo, but how was he supposed to do that now that he had no way to prove the curse to her? Momo could see that Momiji was struggling to decide whether to tell her or not.

-"Tell me. I want to know… please?"

-"Mother couldn't handle it, so he was afraid that you wouldn't be able to do it either" he explained.

-"I think that I kind of know something" she interrupted. Something just clicked in her mind and finally made sense. "You are the rabbit, is that it?" It was a crazy idea, but it was the only explanation that she could think of, the only reason that could possibly fit.

The blood froze in his veins. 'There's no way she knows.'

-"Father told me a story about a curse in the family, but is it true?" Momo stood from her place at the table. Momiji could only nod, unsure of what he should do or say. "You see, like you, Papa used to hide the truth in stories, so I pieced it together until now." She was finally standing in front of him, still having to look up to see his eyes. She could tell that he felt just scared as much as she was excited at that moment. "You are the rabbit! But how…" she tackled Momiji by surprise, knocking the air out of him and sending both of them to the floor. She fell on top of him, still holding Momiji close to her.

'He didn't deny it.'

He stayed on the floor, unmoving, trying to make some sense of what just happened. She waited for a reaction from him, something that told her that he was fine. Slowly, hesitant, Momiji returned the embrace after what seemed like an eternity for Momo.

-"It's over. The curse was broken years ago." He answered. His voice was once again that same pained voice of their father's.

'This is it. How is she going to take it? She believed the story so far, but what will she think of me now?' It'd made things easier than he thought having Momo provide the explanation herself. He could hardly believe that his… _their _father had told her about the curse. 'Why didn't he tell her about me too?'

She relaxed and put her ear over his heart, still clinging to him in a tight hug. During the days they were apart, this was what she had missed the most. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, and his whole body radiated raw fear. 'Why is he so scared?'

-"So that's the big secret? All of this mess was because of that?" He didn't answer, but he started to let go of her. She felt that he was trembling. She knew that she needed to explain herself better right at that moment, before he jumped to wrong conclusions. "You should've told me before. I bet you were the cutest rabbit ever!" Momo whispered. As soon as she said the words, she felt Momiji's whole body relax and his breathing slowly going back to its regular pace.

They stayed on the floor for a long time, embracing each other and enjoying their mutual company. She slid to his side to avoid crushing Momiji longer than necessary.

-"You said that the rabbit is still sad because he can never go back to his family" she said. "Then you told me that you have no place to go back to. You really think so?" It was time that he realized how wrong he was, and it was up to her to help him out.

-"I…" he started. He still recalled the conversation with Akito the day after his curse was lifted. Her words were cruel, and they hurt him effectively. Even so, he had no option but to agree with her. His parents would never take him back after the curse was gone. He would forever remain a stranger to his family.

-"What about me? I know that we don't have parents anymore, but I am your sister. We are a family: you and I." If possible, she held him closer than before. She felt the desperate need to make him understand. As Grandma told her that day, she now had the chance to make a home for the both of them.

-"I thought that your home was in Germany with the people you love." He heard her saying that she loved him before, but would that love be strong enough to make her stay with him for good?

-"So you decided that I didn't want to have a brother… You thought that because our mother didn't accept you, I wouldn't either." She didn't feel bitter about it. She understood his fear to a certain degree.

-"You just proved that I was wrong" he chuckled. Momiji recalled Tohru agreeing with him that Momo would do that. 'She knew all along.'

-"It's over, Momo. We must leave all of that behind." The subtle plea implied in his voice amazed her. He was able to say so many things at once with just the right few words! She was not giving in about this so easily, though. She wanted something from him before they did leave behind that part of their lives.

-"I want you to promise me something. I want you to tell me the truth always, no matter how hard or painful you think it could be." She was not backing up from this request.

-"I promise." His voice was firm and honest. He had no trouble or reservation on making that promise. Truth be told, he was tired of all the lies and secrets in his past.

-"What about you? Don't you want anything from me?" It was only fair that he asked for something from her. Whatever it was, she was willing to concede.

-"You're here already." Contentment started to soothe his soul. 'All I've ever wanted was to have someone in my life who I can call my own' he thought.

-"I've always been your sister. All you needed to do was ask," she lightly scolded him. Momiji recalled Tohru saying the same thing.

-"I did, but you decided to stay in Germany" he countered as a lame means of defense.

-"Don't you know that I would've made a different decision back there if only I've known all the facts? I thought that you'd be better off without me, that I would be a burden… that you'd regret taking me in some day." Grandma was right. 'How was he supposed to understand? He didn't know my reasons. Of course he felt hurt and rejected.'

-"How… Why did you think that?" He started to laugh. It was so simple, so obvious now that he thought about it. "That's right! You believed that I was your cousin… and I… I thought that you wanted to stay because you liked it better there. Besides, Grandma's there too…"

-"It's the first time that I hear you calling her that way." It gave her a warm feeling to hear _her brother_ talking about _their grandmother_. It made it all so real, and it made her extremely happy to know that they more things in common after all.

-"I call her Grandma all the time. You didn't know because you are never around when I do." His smile was different from all the ones she had seen on his face before. There was something new about it…

-"My Grandma, your Grandma." Momo touched the tip of his nose with her finger, a playful spark in her eyes. He laughed again, and the sound of it sent a warm current through Momo. "Now that we are together, how do you want me to call you?" she asked.

He turned a little serious, pondering the question. "I don't know. I guess it's up to you, Momo-chan. You can always call me by my name if you want." She knew that he would feel very disappointed if she did that.

-"I think that I'll stick with nii-san if you don't mind. 'Chan' would sound kind of funny, with you being so much taller than I, don't you think?" Yes, that sounded just right. Momiji was currently close to being 1.90 m tall. She could never call him 'chan' again!

-"I can live with that" he joked. "I was kind of scared that you'd come up with a weird nickname."

She saw his eyes. They held the same sparkle that she saw a moment before. "There it is!" she whispered, amazed.

-"What?" he asked, confused, but the sparkle, she noted, stayed where it was.

-"The smile! It finally made it to your eyes!" She knelt by his side to look at his eyes better.

-"Really?" Momiji laughed again. It wasn't because he thought that what Momo said was funny. It was a laughter born out of pure happiness. 'This is the way it should've always been.' He started to stand up from the floor. The house didn't seem so bleak and empty as before. It started to feel like a home.

-"Momiji nii-san" Momo tried the name aloud. If possible, Momiji's grin got bigger. 'This time it's for real.' Everything would be alright now.

-"Just so you know…" Momo looked up at him when he started to speak. He made a little pause. "I'm taking the responsibility of taking care of you as your brother, not as your guardian. And… you'll never be a burden." There was finality in his statement, a strong resolution in his voice that allowed no dispute. He'd been given the chance to become Momo's brother at last. His father entrusted him with his sister's future and happiness. He couldn't fail. He'd be strong for her.

Momiji held out his hand to help her up.

'This is my big brother.' Momo felt safe again. She was _at home._

She took his hand.


	35. Exceeding expectations

This is the last chapter of 'Custody.' It's been an extraordinary experience and I hope that whoever has come this far reading has liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it. To all the people who took the time to read, and to all the readers who have stuck to the story even if it took forever for me to finish, my deepest gratitude. To all of you who took the time to review, my deepest appreciation and gratitude too. You've made this whole writing process a memorable experience.

There are hints of a possible continuation throughout this chapter. If you think that you can manage sticking with me for another story, please let me know. Thanks!

--

Momiji walked alone surrounded by the cold of the dying winter. He couldn't wait to be back home for the day. He longed for the warmth that awaited him there. He checked the time on his watch. "Darn!" he whispered. The meeting had taken longer than expected and he was late for dinner… again. He wondered how long it would take Momo to finally get tired of waiting for him every other day and start eating on her own one of these nights. He sighed.

-"You look awfully tired" someone commented to his right. He knew that cunning voice. Momiji turned to see the person who had spoken to him, and sure enough, he found himself face to face with his cousin. He removed the lollipop from his mouth and smiled.

-"I haven't seen you in a while. How are you?" He had always liked him, even as a boy when he behaved openly stubborn and defiant. Nowadays he had perfected the art, which both amazed and terrified him. You never knew what to expect of this shrewd young man anymore.

-"Not as good as you are. Akito told me that your sister is back. I guess you're happy now, aren't you?" He found himself staring at Momiji. In all his life he had never seen him smile that way. His eyes were filled with happiness, even if he looked tired. He decided to point out another thing he noticed about him, just for fun. "I can see that you're getting… plump" he snickered. 'And when is he going to stop growing up, if ever?' He refrained from commenting aloud on his cousin's height, even if it still irritated him having to look up at him.

-"You have Momo to thank for that" laughed Momiji. His cousin raised a questioning eyebrow. Momiji nodded enthusiastically, reverting for a moment to the young man of his childhood memories. "How so?" he questioned. Momiji decided to elaborate.

-"Well, if she wasn't that good of a cook, I wouldn't be in this situation" he confessed. It was true. He'd been eating a whole lot more lately. His sister woke up very early each morning to fix them both a hearty breakfast, since she said that it was the most important meal of the day. She wouldn't hear anything about skipping or leaving half eaten dishes, and she always served him plenty of food for dinner. He didn't have any intention to complain about that. He liked all the attention he'd been getting lately from his sister.

-"Is she? That's interesting." The young man decided to store that piece of information. 'So, she can cook'

-"What brings you here this time? Did you come to visit Akito-san and Shigure-san?" The young man answered with a nod, mentally recalling his conversation with them both just a few minutes ago and the main topic that they'd discussed. Funny he should run into Momiji right after leaving their house.

-"How is she these days?" his cousin shot him an accusing glance, so Momiji quickly explained himself. "I know that I live here and all, but I've been kind of busy lately. Besides, whenever I have the time, I help out my sister with her homework."

-"Isn't she a little too old for that?" He really wanted to believe that he wouldn't have to help Hinata-chan with her homework all the way to high school. If he had to, then it meant that he was just getting started... He groaned mentally.

-"It's not that she's not smart or capable enough…" Momiji started to explain.

-"Then what is it?" his cousin asked, genuinely curious.

-"I know that she'll get upset if she finds out about me telling you, but she's having a little trouble getting reacquainted with the language." For some unknown reason, Momiji found himself trusting his cousin.

-"She forgot the language? Tell me that you're kidding!" He started to laugh. How long had it been since Momiji heard him laugh like that? 'Not once after Kisa-chan left' he realized.

-"And you mean to tell me that you're going to help her out with her homework at this hour?" It wasn't that late, but seeing the tiredness all about Momiji, he didn't think that he was in the mood at that moment.

-"Yeah" he breathed out. "As soon as we're done with dinner" he answered. He didn't feel like translating text books or teaching kanji tonight at all, but what else could he do?

-"How's your family in Germany?" the young man questioned, changing the topic. "Is anyone dropping by soon to see how you're handling your big brother role?" Not that he felt like meeting any of them for the time being, just curiosity.

-"Everyone is fine. Grandma will be visiting in the summer." If possible, the smile grew wider until it became a grin. It was not unusual to see Momiji grinning. What struck him as a novelty was that he really looked happy this time. 'He really changed.'

-"That sounds good. Maybe we'll run into each other again while she's here and you can introduce us then."

-"Trust me. You will meet her. She's dying to see all of our Japanese family" he said, oblivious to his cousin's troubled thoughts. "I think she'll like you."

-"I hope so." The young man confessed. Momiji shot him a questioning look that his cousin didn't deem worthy of a reply. Momiji decided to say goodbye for the night and run home. His cousin also said that he should get going too. Momiji started to walk away when his cousin asked aloud, as an afterthought:

-"So, Momiji, how do you like being a big brother now? Is it all the way you expected it to be?" He never thought much of the role and responsibility he had to Hinata-chan as the older brother until he heard of Momo's return. Momiji had struggled hard for something he had always taken for granted himself. Momiji turned around once more and surprised him again with another of his trademark smiles.

-"It's been even better, Hiro-kun!" He turned again and left Hiro standing there, amazed. How could a girl manage to make such a difference in one person? 'Should I be looking up for that kind of thing myself?' Momiji continued to walk away until he disappeared from sight.

Hiro pulled closed the lapels of his coat. He shrugged and decided to stop worrying about what he'd been instructed to do. He had to start thinking about his future, but not tonight.

'Nobody's going away this time.'


End file.
